A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a long distance relationship with a girl, she lives about 2 states over, and we've been together for about two months now. We're both still in high school school, and both have social lives (Or at least she does), which brings me to my question.She is insanely beautiful, she has a killer personality, and she's outgoing. I feel like I'm not good enough for her, mainly because I'm not attractive at all, in my eyes. My question is, why on earth, would someone like her have an online relationship with me, when she must get asked out daily? Why me? There are hotter guys, who could make her happy in person, literally right there. She tells me she only wants me, and no one else compares, but I'm just not sure :/ This feeling is making it difficult to talk on the phone, and skyping just isn't an option, because I feel like it would be beauty and the beast. I feel like Im going to destroy the relationship if i keep thinking this way :/ Any opinions on this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): Most girls are very insecure. It is quite possible that she doesn't see herself the way you see her. There are plenty of great girls out there who can't find a boyfriend. Stop worrying so much. She obviously likes you.
A
female
reader, Dreamer1988 +, writes (27 December 2010):
 It's possible she's lonely and she's using you for some companionship. I would suggest that you don't do anything just yet and see where it goes.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (27 December 2010):
 Yeah, online relationships are very tricky. As dirtball said, they are not real. I know you're first reaction to us is "NO! It's real! She loves me and I love her!" but it's not that simple. Believe me, I have experience in this area. With online relationships, you develop a mental image of the other person but it's with the information they provide to you... not what you observe. No matter what, you can only really get to know somebody by spending time with them in person. A person defending their online relationship will be quick to say "Well, we know the REAL us. I talk to her more than I've talked to anybody else. She knows the REAL me.".
Don't get me wrong, you can get to know somebody well on the internet, but there's a cutoff. After a certain amount of time you MUST meet. Otherwise it's just an "online" relationship.
I'm not going to keep beating you up about online relationships. I'll just give you the advice that I'd give to someone like you who is questioning why she likes you (in a conventional relationship): Toughin Up! Self confidence is very important in a relationship. This goes for both girls and guys. If a girl senses a guy doesn't feel he should be with her, she'll pick up on it and start feeling the same way. It's the same way with a girl who has low self esteem and really doesn't think she is attractive or good looking. Because she feels that way, she's going to project that outwards and it'll effect her appearance.
As dirtball said, stop questioning why she's with you and just go with it.
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A
female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (27 December 2010):
 I used to be in a relationship like yours. We met over MySpace and were in long-distance for nine months. He was attractive, but not the most attractive thing in the world. The photos I saw of him were from about two years beforehand. I, on the other hand, am fairly attractive, and do get hit on quite a bit. However, at the time, I was living in a very small town and didn't get out much. He was very shy and wasn't very outgoing, but was living in one of the most populated cities in the U.S. Combine the two and you've got a whole lot of time for phone calls and video chats. However, once I moved up to where he was, I became much more outgoing and social, and found out that we weren't a match for each other. You can't build this thing up to be more than it actually is. She could easily be a fake. She could be using someone else's photos as her own. My ex also did that. He only found out once with me that his ex (who was insanely gorgeous) of two months was a complete fake, even though they spoke on the phone daily. Just don't read too much into it at this point. You're still in the early stages of the relationship anyway.
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A
female
reader, Tasmanian devil  +, writes (27 December 2010):
 i agree with dirtball you shouldn't think so little of yourself im sure you have much to offer you just don't see it and anyway beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not the steryotype and you can only look at something so many times before you get bored there has to be something a lot more substantial to keep that kind of flame going
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (27 December 2010):
 Meh, just enjoy it. It's an internet relationship so it's make believe. Sure the feelings may be real, but there is not a real relationship.
Have you ever been in the same room together? Have you ever held hands? Ever kissed? Ever gone on a date? Just sayin'
On the other hand. Don't be so down on yourself. Many people wonder "why are they with me" in a relationship. It is a common wonder, especially in those with low self esteem. Looks aren't everything. There is something about you that she likes. Why question it? Enjoy it!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): Stop thinking negatively. Remember, she obviously picked you over all those dozens of people, because of who you are as a person, and because of your good personality. So don't ruin things by being weak, be confident, and she will like you even more.
When pretty girls have boys around them all the time they get bored, because none of them are special inside, so they want a guy who is different and unique.They want somebody who likes them for who they are. You are exactly that person
You know, winning a girls heart isn't about looks, personality + confidence is the name of the game.
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