A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend is 45,and I am 70. she's never been marry and has no kids. i'm a grandfather and been married twice. we have been seeing each other for 21/2 years. we both stay at our own homes. the problem is that wshe won't let me kiss her on the lips because of germs,she tells me. she seems to stay away from any kind sex if I try to make a move. what's your suggestion? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Cheeks +, writes (15 January 2011):
 I think if she loved you she would kiss you, germs and all. Is there any chance she'll profit from sticking it out with you and by living longer? Don't marry her. She's after something of yours. otherwise she would show you affection! Be careful and if you suspect she is just using you- then at least make her earn some of that security that shes banking on getting from you and tell her to start kicking down or hit the door & start kicking rocks.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): Maybe she just doesn't want a physical relationship with you. I suppose that just makes you companions. Have you talked about this. Germs, I think is an excuse. Is being 'companions' enough for you or is something more intimate very important. You have to decide if you will settle for the staus quo and it be platonic or not. A bit of delving is required to find out what she wants.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 I don't know how to say it without sounding spiteful, but... she may not be physically attracted to you, if after 2.5 years she won't even let you kiss her.
25 years are a big age difference, and , no matter what people say about love being a meeting of souls, bodies have a sort of will of their own, they like what they like. I know a few 45 y.o. woman who would be attracted to a gentleman of 70, but many more who would not.
What's her reason for witholding sex ? And was she always concerned about germs also with her previous partners ?... Did she ever kiss anybody before you ?...
Other good questions are, what's your relation about : are you providing stability for her ? are you helping her out or supporting her in any way, material or moral ?Is she very afraid of being a single woman , of spending time by herself ?...In other words : what's in it for her ?...
I know not everything is about sex in life , and some people are comfortable with platonic only relationship. But they have to both agree about that , to make it work !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): It sounds as though she is not 'into' you. Perhaps ask yourself if there is another reason why she is involved with you, for example are you financially solvent?
It was the large age gap between you both which makes me wonder. I may be way off the mark, but it is just a thought.
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A
female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 She needs to see a councillor. she has a phobia. good luck.
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