A
male
age
51-59,
*061sarahs
writes:this is a hard one. I'm very close friends with someone that i fancy like crazy, she knows it. I fell for her, couldnt help it. She wanted just friends. So i explained that every time i talk to her on the phone, she lives in glasgow me in stoke on trent,i find it very hard because of how i feel. i'm 42, she's 55. but bloody gorgeous. I asked her to break contact, but everytime i do this, i get bombarded with e mails and texts. She asked me to e mail her everyday, txt her and phone. I thought it strange, but me being me, i complied. Then i get a telling off for doing this! She thinks that we might be soulmates. She picks up vibes when i'm feeling down and vice versa. 200miles away. She's due down here christmas eve to visit her family and we're meeting up for a few beers etc, as mates. But alcohol has strange effects. She has made comments that i have every quality that she is after in a guy, and me the same. she's like the perfect one that i can't have. i can smell the food but cant touch the silverware. I've been in a long distance relationship before and it worked like a dream.Any ideas. thanks 42 and confused.
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female
reader, ladycharm +, writes (20 December 2007):
 i think she may be scard maybe she has been hurt to many times and is afriad to take a risk just give her time so she knows your in it for the long run maybe in time things will work out good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): I can really relate to what you're going though, having had a not too dissimilar experience. It's clear that she needs you emotionally and has confessed that you might be soulmates. You back off and she bombards you with messages. The bottom line, as I see it, is this. Your feelings as a result of your friendship with this woman makes you unavailable to anyone else. Are you content with this? I have a friend who also works in Glasgow, after moving there from the Midlands where I live. What's clear to me now is that she enjoyed the attention, but either wouldn't or couldn't understand the cost to me. My own situation lasted 6 years! You have needs as a man and you've a right to have those needs met by someone who feels as you do. Your friend has said you're everything she ever wanted, so why's she holding back? Is it a lack of chemistry? Is she scared? If she's worth being with, she should be honest with you. Does she not feel she deserves a good guy like you? Is she worried about the age difference? Her visit creates a great opportunity to have a good talk. If I were you I'd tell her that either the friendship moves forward or you end it. The alternative, as well I know, is to live in the perpetual agony of wanting. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, leonard j, Douglas  +, writes (19 December 2007):
Yes,I have a great idea for the both of you,GO SLOW in your relationship and really get to know each other before sexing it up. Most of us men begin love with our Peckers,then move on into love while most women begin love with their hearts and minds not with their genitals. Do enjoy each other's minds long before you begin to enjoy each others Genitals.
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A
male
reader, Neboraic +, writes (19 December 2007):
Theres no solvable problem here. The only thing left to do is find out why. The maybe move on to someonelse (deespite the fact that all other women will be inferior in comparison). That might even make her want you (although dont do it with that intention).
Ive always wondered about what makes up a relationship and ive worked it out to two parts. The mental and the physical.
You already have the mental, shes happy with just that and doesnt want anymore.
PS it sounds like it already is a long distance relationship
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): Just come out and be plain. let her give you a direct answer no beating around the bush. Tell her you have found someone mention it gentle see what her reation is like, if she does not budge MOVE ON. You aren't getting younger. Life goes on.
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