A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,So i´ve a good guy friend, known him but for only 2 months or so. So anyway, the last time i was at his house (only my second time), we put a movie on, and, well one thing went to another and we were making out, he was feeling me and i was feeling him, you know ;) we didn`t actually get to sex, because it was late and i had to go home, but we would have, i think. He had just 5 minutes before the phone rang saying i had to go home, my pants taken off (not my underpants though, his hand was already there), and my shirt, he was shirtless too, so i think it was clear what we were moving on to.The whole thing, i think was not so suprising, for a couple of weeks we have been oft talking to another about sex, and joking around about it, so it was bound to happen eventually, i think.The problem is, i know i will go back there eventually, and next time probably have sex, which i want, really, but i dont love him. And i know he doesnt love me, we like each other only as friends. And im not afraid of it developing into something else, because in 3 weeks i will be gone anyway. Is that ok if we have sex?? I know he wants it too.Another thing is, i myself am a virgin, and that was my first kiss! he doesnt know this, he thinks i am experienced. I have never actually outright said it, but I talk like i am.What should I do, and is it ok to have sex with him just for fun? Does that make me a slut? confused... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, daisydaresyou  +, writes (29 February 2008):
Try not to pay attention to stupid labels like slut etc They are only there to promote the idea that women shouldn't enjoy sex and that sex itself is something to feel guilty about.
To be honest, if you weren't a virgin, I would say go for it, have sex for fun if you want, and don't worry about what other people say.
But the fact that you are a virgin makes me think you should consider this more carefully. Do you want to lose your virginity to him? Is it a big deal to you, if the sex isn't that great, or if it's not a big experience you share with someone (in light of the fact that he doesn't even know you're a virgin)? I think losing it is a different idea to different people. Most people say wait til you find someone you love for the first time. Most people don't actually do that but usually say they wish they had.
Only you can know your own mind. You are 16 or 17 now, so you can make the decision for yourself. Think it through and go with what feels right.
And if you do it, be prepared! Use a condom at least. It doesn't sound like you were being too smart last time, like it could've just happened, but you were necessarily prepared - I just hope you would have used something.
Oh yea and its a lie that nice girls don't carry condoms. Mature, responsible sexual women carry condoms ok! So take one in case.
Good luck!
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