A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Girl I liked a lot and went on a few dates with started getting cold after I told her I liked her and the time we had been hanging out. I asked her why she was acting so different and she said, she was dealing with stuff and I couldn't help her. She wasent wanting a relationship now. Stressed I had done nothing wrong and I was cute, funny and handsome. But after this she got more distant than ever, we used to talk, text, or IM. But now I'm lucky if she responds back ever. Then out of the blue she asks me for art advice (we are both artist) I help her ask her if she would like to hang out and go to the movies... says she works, I said, it wouldn't be when she was off... no response. Message her in a online game we play, no response. most recent thing that happend, i asked her to play a online game. She said she was taking a break,I asked to text me when she was done so we could play. later i saw she had been playing, and was logging off again, i asked hey what happened why didnt she message me, and she said, "she didnt think about it" I asked if everything was okay and if i had made her angry, the IM said she read it... but she never responded back... What should I do? Did I ruin things by telling her I liked her! Should I just delete her off my Facebook and friends lists? What should I do? I feel like she might be trying to hint that she isnt interested in me anymore and is trying to let me down easy or something.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 September 2017):
 I agree with the other ladies, unluckily what's going on is rather evident. And while I generally do not endorse passive aggressive behaviour, it is also true that social norms do not require to shoot at flies with a cannon, i.e. to yell to a perfectly nice guy ,who has no other fault than not eliciting a romantic interest : " No ! get lost ! Go away ! I would not date you ,were you the last male left on the planet ! "
So, she gave you the typical " it's not you it's me "speech ",- which, btw ,could also be perfectly true, i.e. that , although you actually are handsome and personable, STILL she does not see you as dating material and does not wish for any further closeness between you. Then, she followed up by taking a step back in communication - and that should have been enough. Of course the more you push, the more she pulls back, to the point of sounding dismissive and somewhat rude. But I am afraid you did not leave her much choice, if when she wants to be civil and ask you an advice about art , as a fellow artist, you take that as a signal to double your courting efforts.
You haven't done anything " wrong " per se, it's OK to try your luck and it's Ok to let people know when you are interested; but , if they don't " bite "- respect that and leave them be.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (25 September 2017):
 Well, if anyone every had any doubts that some males don't "do" hints, they only have to read your post!
Are you seriously in doubt what is going on here? Do you normally have difficulty understanding what people are trying to tell you? Do you find people have to resort to being rude to get rid of you?
She is too nice to say "get lost" (or words to that effect) so is just withdrawing from you and stone-walling your attempts to contact her on ANY level, even playing games. She wants OUT. Let her go. She is not for you. She should really grow a backbone and block you so you understand.
Whether you did anything "wrong" is immaterial. She has just decided you are not right for her. That is her prerogative. You are likely to be accused of stalking or harassment if you carry on as you are.
LEAVE HER ALONE and move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (25 September 2017):
 She's not hinting... She's screaming from the rooftops that she's not interested. Stop pursuing her OP. Don't contact her or initiate conversations.
How could you not understand such blatant signals?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 September 2017):
 Are you that dense OP?
She has been trying SO hard to let you down "gently" and you are ignoring it over and over and over....
Yes, block and remove her from your Facebook.
It sounds like she either felt you were WAY too serious too soon. As in, moving too fast. OR she just really didn't think you two were a good match.
Yes, she should just have told you instead of all these "hide and go seek games" trying to be subtle in turning you down. You don't seem to get subtle. She should just have been honest.
Don't waste any more time or energy on this one.
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