A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So me and this girl have been dating for a year now, and she is wonderful and amazing.. but lately she has been going through alot with life issues, such as having to move far away, hating her job, and etc. and we've talked about it a lot and she has explained to me that it is a reason for she isn't happy sometimes. and because she isn't happy we tend to fight more, because she is unhappy and it starts to affect me more or so.. well after a month of this I finally agree to be the best I can be to be there for her in her time of need, by not fighting and being unhappy. but lately she has been more unhappy, and i don't think its wrong of me to say that it has been affecting me a great deal, and i just want to see her happy. But it seems like nothing I do works... like when she is sick I try to take care of her and she doesn't want me to, or when i say i love you, she never says it back. those type of things.. I just can't see if I'm wrong in this or if i am over reacting or what is going on.. she is just being so distant and I am being as subtle and patient as i can, I feel wrong if i was to get angry at her for being this way because she wouldn't claim any fault...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): I agree with everyone on this except for the last one and my previous one about blowing up and taking everything out on her. Honestly i would go with what the last two ladies say. I hope everything works out and if not You are still young and there are plenty of people out there. Dont beat yourself up you cant help her problems. Please though just dont listen to my last post. I know that blowing up cant get very far in relationships. I have learned from experience. I think i was just reflecting on a situation when i typed thgat and how i would react if my bf did the same. its frustrating
A
female
reader, youngandrestless  +, writes (4 February 2011):
 she may be taking her hurt out on you and subconsiously be laying the blame at your door. as a woman who has gone through depression, i know how hard it can be, both on myself and my fiacne. when we first moved in together we did not have a good relationship. my family and friends had broken contact with me because they did not approve of the way we were living, and he had cheated on me. i was very depressed and i was taking it out on him and blaming him for it. i dont know how we made it through that first year, it wasnt easy. we fought all the time, and i instigated it. i was always unhappy and constantly accused him of wanting to leave me, but i know i would have died if he was not there beside me. i should have gotten counciling and probably been on antidepressants, but he got me through. if it seems appropriate, see if you can suggest that she seeks therapy for her problems, she may find comfort in just having someone else to talk to. it sounds like you are the only good thing for her right now, so she wants you to fix the bad things. you cant do that for her, its not possible. i hope that i at least helped a little, and that you figure out your situation. best of luck.
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A
female
reader, Bishbash  +, writes (3 February 2011):
Maybe she feels as if ur being too nice to her some girls (like me) like a guy who isn't very open with ther feelings it makes them more interesting and makes you want them more, so if u start to bac away give her some space to sort out her problems then she may come runnin after u with arms wide open if not then maybe she just doesn't want a relationship at the moment whilst she is going through alot maybe she feels as if she is bringing u down with her jus talk to her an ask her that's all you can do
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A
male
reader, Leodjoneluv +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Two suggestions for
1. if you love her, you can be supported and stick it through. If she is misreable, your are gonna be misreable. Thats not a way to live. Try talking to her and ask her to open up to you about her problems.
2. Some people are just un happy. you have to love u more than u lover her. Walking away is hard but having a peace of mind is so much better. you are a young man and there are a lot more of happy beautiful young ladies out there.
Give her space and walk from her until she improves
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): Alright, First of i know how hard it is to not be able to make someone happy. Same situation with me. I am depressed and unhappy alot because my mom passed away. The only thing i can do is say stop asking her whats wrong and be as sweet as you possibly can. If that doesnt work then it might be over. Im only 20. But seriously do that or just blow up and act like her and see what she does or ask her what the hell her problem is and let her know your trying to help her.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Nothing you do works because she doesn't want to be with you anymore but is too chickenshit to tell you. All this behavior from her points to her wanting this relationship to be over. She'll find fault with everything because you're not what she wants anymore. Sorry.
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