A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have encountered a few questions similar to mine, but there's something about being responded to directly that beats just taking the advice given to someone else with a similar question. At any rate I am in complete distress, and I really would appreciate any input provided by anyone. So without anymore deliberations, let me state that I felt quite optimistic when I reached my score of years on this planet, however, my optimism depleted shortly thereafter. I am soon turning 21 and I am gay. I am actually very comfortable with that part, and I have a very loving and supporting family to thank for not marginalizing and providing me the support I know many gays do not receive from their own family. The downside, I am a virgin. And worse of all, I don't have any kissing experience. Granted, I think I would know how to do it if I were given the chance, but the problem is I am complete failure at dating. Typically, I allow myself to get to know someone and wait for things to take off. That being said, things never take off and at most I remain the friend, but generally the friendship terminates until full contact is lost. And that's as far as things go, with my love interests.I have tried online dating sites, but the results were a complete let down. The Darwinism principles at times seemed more actively present on dating sites, than anywhere else I have attempted to find a date. Clearly I stood no chance in being messaged often, when I am just an Average Joe in the looks department. Maybe, I gave up too soon, but the sites I visited where set in such a superficial manner that I felt I stood no chance in contrast to the other contenders.Anyway, I would define myself as a jack of all trades. You know, what I don't feel I have in looks I make up for in other aspects because I do a lot of everything. In other words, I have a wide array of interests, but the bottom-line is like anyone else I am capable of loving too. And I just want to find that someone, who I can spend time with exclusively with... Again, I am not looking for a steamy lust partner (but if I were, then I would revert back to the dating sites.) I just want a guy that wants what I want. I want to be loved, and I want to give my love to him. Ultimately, I want to make him feel good about himself and be there for him at all times when he needs me to be. Okay, I get it. This isn't a site where I describe what I want. And to turn to eugenics for my ideal man would be odd even for me, and besides that's a whole new can of worms. All I really want to know is advice or tips on how to speed up this love process or just how to altogether cope with not having anyone, but wanting to have someone. I know I am not doomed forever, but it's been too long--And I am ready to love and possibly get hurt. I know a lot of this whole dating thing not turning out, has to do a lot with me, but I as you can see I am stuck. Advice from anyone is appreciated. Bonus points for advice if you're in a similar situation or if you were at some point a late bloomer in the love battlefield. Although, let's be honest these "bonus" points aren't really redeemable for anything in particular. And again, all advice is appreciated.
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male
reader, phoenix69  +, writes (12 February 2011):
 They say everything takes time but for some reason us gay guys dont wanna wait.My problem is that I fall in love to quickly and will stay with a guy even if im not happy its the fear of being alone. We try so hard to be acceptable in other peoples eyes looking for their approval instead of being happy with ourselves. We spend so much money trying to look better or more important so that we are liked or loved because its them who we are tring to please not ourselves. You first have to love yourself believe that you are iportant I read somewhere that- To the world you are one person but to one person you are the world- we all long for that and it may take a year 5 yrs or an entire lifetime but I hope that before i or we live this world we have found that one who will make us realize the wait was worth it...........................................
A
female
reader, wisher  +, writes (3 February 2011):
dear sir,
after reading down your proublem,and soom thinking on it,i can see that you could be down/unhappy,about things.
only, no one can get control on that side of things in life.not just for you for anyone,
while your ready now,and perpered thats fine,
and you have one great thing in your faver,your so so very young,dont worry about still been a vergin,as its still a very presious thing,dont be influenced with the modren why,youll only realize this when you do lose it soom day,
dont let things get you down,
iem devorced 20 years like you still waiting for that someone to love [try clubs places where you could meet people.
...............................
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