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She doesn't give me oral - Is she really a lesbian?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2011) 11 Answers - (Newest, 16 August 2017)
A female United States age 36-40, *eminChanel writes:

I'm dating a girl who doesn't like to give oral. The basic thing to like and love in a lesbian relationship. Is it possible to still be a lesbian and not like to give oral to your partner?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2017):

There is a natural desire in almost all straight men and I'm sure somemasculine women that want to lap at a woman hold her hips, taste her, tease her and absolutely relish in the act.

It gives a warm sensation in my mouth that travels down to my belly giving me an unmatched closeness. I would perform the act out of my own pleasure more than hers on most occasions.

I am about to sound hugely controversial by saying this desire isn't as strong in a female/ female relationship as in a Male / Female relationship.

So lesbians should look for this hunger before getting seroius with another woman. Sex is more important than you may know.

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A female reader, Maeinmaryjanes United States +, writes (5 August 2017):

Sure. There is also fingers, fisting, strap ons, spanking, paddles, canes, blindfolds, nipple clamps, knives, rope, ball gags, etc.

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A female reader, GeminChanel United States +, writes (11 June 2011):

GeminChanel is verified as being by the original poster of the question

GeminChanel agony auntNo offense taken. I've tried to date studs or butchs but it's one way with them. I am like it to be 50/50. I like to give and receive and a lot of women that I've been with have been switches. This is the 1st relationship I've been with other than the studs or butchs that I had a problem sexually with.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011):

Not to be mean but there is actually a term for people like that and it is called a pillow princess/stone femme. They like to receive in the bedroom. They would be a perfect match for stone butch which likes to 'give' and Not receive in a sexual relationship

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A female reader, GeminChanel United States +, writes (11 June 2011):

GeminChanel is verified as being by the original poster of the question

GeminChanel agony auntMaybe I should've never questioned her sexuality. Getting oral is very important to me. I can see if she did something instead but she doesn't. I do all the work in the bedroom and I'm tired of it. I like to orgasm too! Majority of the time I get my rocks off when she's not around and I'm solo. Why am I in a relationship if I can't rely on my partner to satisfy me sexually like how I satisfy her?

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A female reader, AuntyAlexxmo United Kingdom +, writes (9 June 2011):

AuntyAlexxmo agony auntI agree that it is nothing to do with sexuality and also you cant make someone do something they are not happy with, but if it bothers you why not sit and talk to her about it. Is this her firsy relationship, it may be that she is unsure of what to do or nervouse, the only way your going to know is if you chat to her.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 June 2011):

Honeypie agony auntOral is jsut not for everyone. Has nothing to do with her sexuality.

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A female reader, bittersweetmemory  +, writes (9 June 2011):

bittersweetmemory agony auntI really don't believe that anyone out there would be a lesbian because she wants to give oral. I don't think it had to do anything with her sexuality weather or not she likes to give oral.

And relationships are just as much about love as about sexual intimacy...so it's much rather about her feelings for you then about her giving oral or not.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011):

Of course it is. Many women don't like performing fellatio but that doesn't make them any less heterosexual.

There is far more to lesbian relationships than simply oral sex.

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A female reader, MissTellAll United States +, writes (9 June 2011):

MissTellAll agony auntIs it possible to be a straight girl and not enjoy giving blowjobs? --Yes, so I would assume it's just like that. Oral- some people love it, some people hate it, some people won't even say it without blushing. Have you asked her why she doesn't like it? Was it past experience? Insecurity about not doing it well enough?

Then again, she may just not know where she is sexually. If she hasn't been in many lesbian relationships she may be inexperienced. She may be confused. Talk about it with her.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (9 June 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt I only know that by hearsay , but a friend of mine who is homosexual had the same problem with her ex,who was a very femme ( or maybe just very lazy, lol ) woman who loved receiving but only reciprocated occasionally and out of a sense of duty. So ,for possible, meaning it can happen, it's possible- how satisfying for the partner, that's another story.

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