A
female
age
41-50,
*edup1234
writes:I need advice.I have just split up with my fiance as he has kissed another girl. i dumped him once before because of the same thing. However, he promised that he could make me trust him and we got back together. Since then, I have never really trusted him completely and suspect almost everthing he does. Last week, I checked his phone and found a text from his female friend talking about how much she loved him and enjoyed the kiss. He had lied and said he was no longer in contact with her.I was clearly shocked and told him to move out which he has done. Right now I feel really raw and do not know if I have done the right thing. We have been together for 6 years and have a history together. He wants to get back with me but I dont know if I will ever be able to trust him again. What should i do, my family love him and think I should give it another try. My friends think Im a fool to even consider taking him back. Help please, any suggestions !
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female
reader, sexi  +, writes (26 July 2007):
 Hi, The truth is that everyone does need a second chance. It would be harder for you to trust him now as he has done it again. I f you feel he deserves a second chance, he must prove to you that he is worthy of you and your love.You ned to see the change in him.Dont let him keep lying to you. You can also start by rebuilding the trust just as friends and see where it goes to. Don listen to anyone, do what you feel is best for you.Some time apart should also help. You must let him know what his actions has done to you and it is not fair for him to treat you the way he does.Everyone needs to be loved and there is someone out there that would appreciate you.Good Luck, Mail me if you wanna talkP.S You not the only one that has gotten hurt like that my bf has done something similar to me. Give yourself some time to deal with what has happened before you make any decision that you might regret.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007): thanks to all you guys out there who took the time to give your advice. Its very reassuring. However, I am having the roughest time trying to get over him. Its only been a couple of weeks since we broke up and we've spoken almost everyday which is not helping. I think I just need time to sort my head. Deep down I know I deserve better.
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A
male
reader, Stanley Cup  +, writes (26 July 2007):
Ditch this scumbag. You don't even owe him an explanation. Ther are plenty of trustworthy guys out there who are way better than you (ex)fiance. They have not done anything hurtful to you, so why aren't you giving them a chance?
A relationship is built on trust. When he showed that he was not trustworthy, you gave him another chance, and got repaid for it by him lying to you and proving that he isn't trustworthy. You need to lose this jerk. There are tons of better guys out there.
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A
female
reader, tadala +, writes (25 July 2007):
 Like you said, you will never really be able to trust this guy again. Every time he is late, or his phone rings, your doubt is going to get the best of you. He's already disappointed you and probably wouldn't hesitate to do it again. On top of it all, he lied. Your family might love him, but they probably wouldn't think so highly of him if they knew all the details. I would say that you did the right thing by asking him to move out...and on with his life!
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (25 July 2007):
 If you don't think you will ever be able to trust him again there is not alot of point getting back together, as that is one of the most important things in a relationship.
Go with what you think though as friends always say don't go back and if i had listened to my friends i would not be married now with two great children, maybe you should tell him how you feel and say that you need some time to get you're head round things and see if you think it will work.
If he really is sorry and truly loves you he will do this for you.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, rachy-baby-helps +, writes (25 July 2007):
 I agree with your friends, you are not a fool and won't be if you do take him back, but he has hurt you like this before and has lied about other girls. I think the best thing for you to do is move on. Tell him why and say you would like to be friends.
There are plenty of other guys for you out there, much better ones than this guy. You will find someone else who will appreciate you and be loyal to you. Don't give up.
To get over this guy, arrange some girly nights or family times.
Good luck :-)
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