A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend always wants sex. But recently im really sore that last time we did it I nearly cried. I don't know why im sore its not like I'm allergic to him. He's always going on at me about not having sex but I just can't go through with it. What can I do to make him understand? Please help. Thank u :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2011): I understand where you are coming from. Sex has always been a bit painful for me unless the guy was below average in size. I have even had two kids and it hasnt made it hurt any less dispite what some might think. For you i would definitly go to the dr and get checked out. I dont have any stds stis or any conditions. The only thing that does help is when im rly turned on. Try to get ur bf to rub ur clit maybe go down on you. 4 me it doesnt make all the pain go away but it does help. Lube can help too... It doesnt help me as much but it might 4 u. Good luck.
A
female
reader, msnewbeginning  +, writes (30 June 2011):
 You should explain to him how you feel
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (30 June 2011):
 You may have a medical condition, such as a yeast infection, which would definitely make sexual activity painful. Do go see your physician.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI love him to much to dump him cos he is a lovely boyfriend. Just always wanting sex. I think I'm gonna go drs too see what's up. But I am to embarrassed to go. But I will go. Cos I did enjoy it. I hate being like this.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (30 June 2011):
 Do you use condoms?
Do you use lube?
Is he being rough?
Is he taking forever to climax?
Sex should NEVER make you cry. (Unless its tears of joy!)
If you use latex condoms, you might have an allergy. Try a silicone brand.
If are drying out, he is not arousing you well or you need more lube (pref. one that does not dry out easily).
If he is rough, tell him to SLOW DOWN and LIGHTEN UP.
If he takes forever use more lube. Lasting power is nice, but after awhile it can rub you raw!
Finally, if none of the above help, see a Dr. you might have a medical condition that needs addressing. There are a few rare situations that makes sex extremely painful because your vaginal tissues are easily irritated.
Finally, if he can not understand that you have a painful experience with sex, agree to have sex, but only IF he agrees to have his balls in a clamp during sex. Maybe if he is hurting too, he would get a clue.
Seriously, you need to stand up for yourself. You are not his sexual vending machine. Do what you can to make it more pleasant for yourself, and if he can not have patience then dump his arse. No one needs an insensitive lover.
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A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (30 June 2011):
 Did you talk to him about it?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2011): Try different positions; tell him to take it slow or get into yoga. I heard that being flexible makes it less painful. I’m not sure if that’s true or not, but I’m pretty flexible and my first time wasn’t painful to me.
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A
female
reader, Mature Lady +, writes (30 June 2011):
You'r boyfriend does not appear to be a very understanding person or he would try to work through this with you,you will be tense knowing that you have been hurt before and the more tense you become the more it is going to hurt,you did not mention if you have had sexual partner before or if the problem is only with this boy,it would be an idea to see your doctor who could refer you to a relationship clinic,and do not feel embarassed as there are a lot of people in the same situation as yourself,a good idea would to try some KY Jelly before having sex as it can make thing easier sometimes.In the meantime try and have a good talk with your boyfriend and attempt to get him to understand
Good Luck.
Annette (ex maternity nurse).
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A
female
reader, Mickkiee +, writes (30 June 2011):
 He should understand. Even if you make it into a game and engage in foreplay and tell him he has to wait until hes 'earned' sex and make it into a sexual game therefore you arent in pain and he will still be aroused. I hope this helps :)
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A
female
reader, Weathie +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Hello there! Well, for a start it's not fair on you if you're boyfriend is pressuring you into having sex with him when you don't want to. He should have more respect for you than that. As for feeling sore afterwards, it sounds like something which really needs addressing. Try using lubricant, it will certainly stop you feeling so sore, and can often make sex more enjoyable for the both of you.
I don't know what sort of birth control you're using, but sometimes certain contraceptives can cause dryness... it might be worth speaking to your doctor with regards to this.
I hope this helps :)
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