A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Recently, when I was out in public i've been hearing people calling me fat. That makes me feel awful and ashamed of myself. Why are people so mean? Why do they do this? I am 5 feet 4, and 138 pounds. Is that considered as fat?nSince of this incident its been making me feel depressed and crazy, and I just don't want to eat that much anymore. Please help! Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): hi darling,
Dont ever change who you are for others, some people can be so cruel, and im telling you to take no notice of them this really worries me and you can talk with me anytime..
My friend was told this and she was beautiful but she took it so bad and she comited suicide last year. Now i want you to understand that not every body out there have a care in the world when they utter such cruel words they say it and never even think about it again its you who are left with this feeling you are now getting, DONT LISTEN!!!
YOU ARE A SPECIAL IN EVERYWAY... dont stop eating it will make you ill ive seen this happen, you sound such a lovely young woman who cares a great deal about others be proud of who you are and really just brush off these nasty jibes
as that is all they are. I believe you can get through this and see these people for what they really are THOUGHTLESS to others feeling and my love you rise above this and come through the other side The strong beautiful young woman that you are i have faith you can dont let someone who has probally got issues of there own damage your heart let them get on with it YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH BELIEVE IN YOU !!!! take care lots and lots of love n hugs XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, Jualsy  +, writes (14 June 2007):
 Why are you allowing people to control the way you feel about things. Everyone is entitled to their opinion......don't ALLOW their opinion to hurt you.
If you AGREE with their opinion then perhaps you could do something about the things they are saying. No you are NOT fat given your height and weight.
Like yourself a bit more and let their comments matter less.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (13 June 2007):
 Hun, Don't change becoz of what other people say! The fact is probably that they have something about them that they don't want their " mates" to see. They're probably fat! So they point at you or someone else just so that the attention is drawn off them and whatever they are hiding.
I don't think from what you said you sound fat. Don't let people tell you that you are. If they're gonna go and pick on someone else they need to take a good long hard look at themselves coz they ain't perfect.
These ppl who are saying this will only end up with "friends" who arn't really their friends, just ppl who are supposedly cool and who won't be there for them and they will beccome very unhappy due to their own insecurities.
Don't change for them, otherwise they'll have won. If they call you anything again, just look them up and down and laugh.
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A
female
reader, Spl-ash  +, writes (13 June 2007):
 That is just so mean!!!
To all the people who makes comments like that i say sod you!!
You take alook a 'their perfect figure' and think to yourself have they heard of the word 'mirror'? give a slight mocking smile to them and that will leave them wondering...
If people around you do not feel comfortable with their body why should you follow the trend, huh?
you be confident about yourself, who you are, what you like and give people the image who want them to have of you... confident, happy and all you want...
Go girl!
X X X
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A
male
reader, VyRuZ  +, writes (13 June 2007):
Well, you need to become indifferent to these remarks.
I have no idea what weight you have ( really don't have time right now to convert pounds to kilograms ) but you should do something to feel better about yourself. Most of the time, it's working on your outer image. Try working out, eating healthier, invest in some awesome clothes and get in the mentality that YOU'RE BETTER THAN ALL THOSE THAT CALL YOU FAT. You're smarter, you're richer, you're a better person. THEY have no control over your emotions.
Technically, this is a boundary problem. You have insecurities on how others percieve you. Whenever confronted with this, just use Dr. Paul's technique, the Observing Ego. Try to look from outside your body and comment the situation. It could go something like this: " why should i feel bad because he's called me fat ? He's a nobody! He has no influence in my life and he'll never be as successful as me"
That's all ;)
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (13 June 2007):
 Firstly I'd like to say to all the people who say things like "you're fat", Sod you all!
Secondly, why do you listen to peoples snide comments like that? I am a larger size, well if I'm honest, a few sizes larger than I was a few years ago, and I have had many people tell me that "you've put on the beef" or my favourite "been eating a few too many cakes have we?" and it hurt at first, but now I couldnt give a monkies what they say.
I am a larger size, but if you are happy with yourself, then tell them to sod off and get a life! We cant all be stick thin, I mean, how boring would that be? We are all different shapes and sizes and if they cant live with that, then thats not your problem.
If you are happy with yourself, then that is the main thing. If not, join a weight loss group and get a little help with feeling better about yourself. I did and I feel better for it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): Hi there, don't allow one or two people to bring you down and make you feel depressed. People who make comments like that about other people are insecure and they need to make comments about other people to make themselves feel better. You could be absolutely perfect but there is always one person out there that could come out with something bitchy. It's just the way some people are. Fortunately, there are a lot of people who aren't like this. Put what they said behind you, listen to your friends and family, their comments should be what counts, not some idiots who don't even know you.
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A
female
reader, mh26hm  +, writes (13 June 2007):
 well, people these days are just mean. they are just so cope up with the media these days that they are jealous about celebrities body images and other peoples as well. you just need to come into terms to ignore people's insane and mean criticisms and thoughts because that is what they see. i'm sure your not the only one being criticized, it happens to everybody. some do not care on what people say and some do. overall, it's what you are and you are comfortable about who you are and that's fine!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): According to a body mass index calculator, you are on the upper end of normal weight, but gain more and you would be considered slightly overweight. However, I wouldn't rely on those, b/c my boyfriend is 5'8'' and almost 200 lbs., and according to the bmi calculator he is obese, and looking at him he looks totally normal, not even overweight at all. So I don't know what to tell you, just go by what you think, do you think you look fat? If not, then who cares what ppl. say or think. Are you sure that when you go in public, people have been refering to you as being fat & not perhaps someone you're with or even someone else entirely?? Or if they are refering to you, maybe they are refering to a specific body part, for example, if you had a large but & a small waist & other areas, some ppl. may call you a fat ass. Overly large breasts also make a woman look larger all over.
I am 5 feet eleven inches, and when I was in highschool, I weighed about 125 lbs. Now, 8 yrs. and one baby later I am at 200 lbs. Going from thin & getting complements for being so thin to overweight & critisized for it really hurts, especially when I haven't been over eating. Especially around age 18, your metabolism slows down quite a bit (for me it did) so you have to be more careful about what you eat & try exercizing. I wouldn't say you're fat at that weight, but you aren't skinny either. If you want to be skinny, just diet.
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A
male
reader, NuVu  +, writes (13 June 2007):
That is crazy. No 5'4" and 138 is not fat. People are either being vendictive or are trying to make themselves feel better at your expense.
Eat well and exercise as we all know to do and in the mean time, erase this thought from your memory.
I have a little rule to live by, and that is: if it doesn't bring me happiness, joy, love, or move me closer to one of my goals, then i get rid of the thought ASAP. Don't worry about it and move on.
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