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Seems the same guy is trying to steal another girl away from me. How should I handle this?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Teenage, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 July 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2012)
A male United States age 30-35, *azzedUp writes:

My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly three months now, and lately, a guy has started trying to steal her away from me.

This same guy has already taken one girl away from me and I know that he's heartless enough to do or say whatever to get mine now.

I told her how I feel about it and she swears and promises that she has no feelings for him and that I have no reason to be worried, but now she's going to the beach for a week and he is also going to the same place.

She still said not to worry the whole time she's gone, and last night, our last night together before she left, she broke down into desperate tears about not wanting to go and not wanting to leave me because she's afraid something will happen to me while she's gone (like me forget about her) and that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me.

At first after she fell apart like that in my arms, all my worries and fears were gone about him ever taking her from me, but since she's left for the beach and I saw him say "See you in Destin;)" to her on Facebook. I've just fallen right back into worry and dread. What should I do?

Am I worrying for no reason? She promises me with nearly every "I love you" that she is never ever leaving and no one will ever take her from me, and also asks me to stay with her forever and never ever leave.

Someone please just keep me from living in misery these next 6 days. ='(

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A male reader, wolfred bane Singapore +, writes (29 July 2012):

wolfred bane agony auntThere's not much else to say, as the rest have pretty much covered it.It seems that she is really into you, and im sure she won't be swayed by some random jerk.Don't worry, you can trust her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2012):

Just trust her dude, if she loves you that much then he probably doesn't like this guy at all because he has hurt you in the past.

My girlfriend has no time whatsoever for people who have hurt me in the past, she won't even talk to them and one guy we met out recently that came over to say hi she actually just gave him a dirty look and told him to fuck off, which was hilarious actually because he was shocked to have someone so blatantly say that to his face.

OP in my experience a loving, devoted girlfriend is a fiercely protective creature and despite what you hear or your past experiences most are women are like that, they're as protective as we are. Just trust her, even if she's the timid shy type this guy doesn't stand a chance with her.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (28 July 2012):

*girl

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (28 July 2012):

Look, it's very simple. A guy can only steal a guy away from you if that girl is more interested in him than you. Your girl is obviously more interested in you. You're adults. Trust her to handle herself around him. Something will only happen if she allows him to, which I doubt since she loves you. It takes two to tango, my friend. Trust her.

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (28 July 2012):

What more do you want from her? This has clearly caused her considerable distress, she’s made it quite clear that it’s you she wants, by the sounds of it over and over again. You should think about how hurtful this doubt is for her.

The problem here is that you’re focussing on this guy, what he’ll do and what he’s capable of. You seem to be forgetting that it takes 2 people to make a relationship, if he makes his advances on her and she’s not interested then there is no problem, and it sounds like she really isn’t in to him at all. There will always be temptations, but what would you do if another girl made a move on you? Would you just go for it, or would you say no because you already have a girlfriend that you love? Your girlfriend is capable of thinking for herself in exactly the same way. If you trust her, then you’ve nothing to fear from whatever chancer comes along. You might dislike this guy but you need to be very careful about transferring that fear of his intensions on to your girlfriend, and therefore not trusting her because of the people she happens to come in to contact with. Don’t compare her to the last girl that left you for him, there were probably issues in that relationship anyway. She would have told him to leave her alone if things were right between you. So, if you have a solid relationship with your current girlfriend, things will be very different whatever he does.

I wish you all the very best.

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