A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi hope someone can maybe shed some light on what could be going on here. A few months ago a new guy joined my work and we seemed to get on ok. Over the last 2 - 3 months or so he has been talking to me more and we seemed to have a connection. my friend and a few other people also commented on the vibes they had picked up between us. I found out though that he is married and his wife had their baby yesterday. I am also in a relationship with a nice guy. Although i like this guy at work i have kept my disatnce and not taken things any further. However the last few weeks he has hardly spoken to me and when i asked him if i'd done anything wrong or something to upset him he said no not at all in fact you are one of my best colleagues and friends at work. The other day at work someone said to me oh i heard about you and **. when i asked what exactly the person said oh that you are seeing each other and are more than friends. i corrected this person and said we ar just friends who get on well. a few other people have said something to me and i'm just wondering if he has heard too and thinks its down to me. I'm not really sure what to as i dont want to lose a friend because of someone else's stupidity. pleas help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): thanks guys and girls for your advice, just feel a bit sad for the loss of what could have been a great platonic friendship. thankyou for listening!
A
male
reader, Rogerramjet  +, writes (14 July 2009):
I was in a bit of a similar situation. It really is an amazing thing when you see true chemistry between 2 people. There's something electric in the air. A girl i worked with and i...Everytime we were working together on ANYTHING we would have random strangers who just happened to be in the office, or even out on the street comment on how great our chemistry was together...We MUST be a couple!I think sometimes people are jealous of such a palpable "thing", and just start rumours out of spite.His reaction seems to suggest that he may have heard the gossip, and is just trying to distance himself to protect his relationship. I don't think i would take it personally as suggesting that he blames you for anything!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): thanks was going to do that yesterday when I saw him but he just blanked me then he got a call to say his wife had gone into labour so didn't think it appropriate. just seems cant have a male friend without people jumping to conclusions. he's off for 2 weeks now but will definitely talk to him when i see him next
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A
male
reader, tomosjames +, writes (14 July 2009):
 Sounds like a typical case of watercooler gossip. Who can say what ** has heard, and what others think; because at the end of the day all that matters is that you both know the truth, the more you correct people the more they are likely to believe the rumour they have heard. Let it be, let them think what they think, they will soon get bored and move onto something else. Hope this helped
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 His response to you may reflect his discomfort about the gossip. It doesn't matter how much you deny it the rumours will not go away in the short term. You have no choice but to work as colleagues and not friends, that doesn't mean ignoring each other but you can't be seen talking together any more. Office gossip is so destructive to friendships and it looks like it has claimed yours.
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