A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi I wanted a boyfriend all my life since I was 18 years and now I am 30 and I have never been asked out once and a lot of the guys I liked rejected me for someone who they find more sexually attractive than me.After all the rejection and hurt, I've hurt so many times I have come to conclusion there is no point of this exercise any more. For once I would like to make a guy feel the true pain and harsh reality of rejction in coldest way possible - any tips from the males readers how this can be done. I've tried hurting guys before and nothing works but they are better at hurting me than I am at hurting them. Like them finding love and me who gets nothing after being rejected by shallow pricks and barbie girlfriends.So boys any tips will be condsiderd that will work would be great. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, mike.j.mikelson  +, writes (18 December 2008):
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[Answer by Mike]:
Sucess is the BEST way to take revenge but it takes 10 to 20 years to realize, is only indirect (as you did nothing against the other person) and you never get the satisfation of getting even.
Now please answer these:
If you are seeking REVENGE?
Will the person be excited about a chance to win a big money prize?
Will you like to know you will be the only person to know that when he or she is selected, he or she stands NOT a chance to win the money and that it did happen because of you?
And would you like to see his or her face in the "Loosers" Photo Gallery, with a tag saying "Looser" along with a photo (sent by him himself or her herself as a condition to enter the competition for the money)?
Then YOU NEED TO KNOW about an innocuous way to vent the steam off your system and still get your revenge and laugh from the moment you begin to act until you see the results months later and for the years to come.
Nominate the person a thousand times over (but at least twice!) to the "Sweet Revenge" Sweepstake [ http://sweetrevenge.110mb.com/instructions/index.html ] and you will feel much better, guaranteed!
Mike
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): It doesn't really work unless they like you in the first place and then you hurt them, so ....good luck. Anyways if he starts liking you, surely you wouldn't want to f***it up just cos ur bitter.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): Here are some links, try these tips and give up thoughts of revenge.....
http://www.wikihow.com/Feel-Beautiful
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Attractive-and-Approachable
http://www.wikihow.com/Come-to-Terms-with-Feeling-Ugly
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Boyfriend
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Guy-to-Like-You
There are tons more.. Work on your appearance, your confidence and your self esteem, these things will help you to get the things you want out of life. Thank you for coming back to update your post... Take care of you, and chin up, you'll meet somebody right for you someday, if you change the way you go about things.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): thanks for all the feedback and i,ll take what you said in to consieration and i really do appericate for taken the time out to write to me from you busy timetable .you have been great help.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): revenge and hurting someone else is simply a means to release the ANGER and PAIN that u feel inside. I can understand anger and pain but i've never wished to hurt anyone. to heal your pain you have to love and forgive yourself first - please don't hurt people. peace x
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): Here's my 2 cents worth as a 38 year old woman whose been where you're at...You start off your post with: "I wanted a boyfriend all my life since I was 18 years and now I am 30..." That right there is a red flag for me as to why you keep rejected. Believe me, I've been there myself. Your attitude SCREAMS desperation. Men (and women for that matter) run a country mile from a person whose sole aim in life seems to be about getting into a relationship. It creeps people out. Your intensity to get a boyfriend places a heavy burden on a man that NO ONE is prepared to deal with. And so they run. You think they're rejecting you for "barbie girlfriends" when in reality they are rejecting you because you might come off as a little too much for them. You need to stop focusing on "getting a boyfriend" and work on building your self esteem, confidence and self worth. Believe me, when you're having fun just living your every day life, without being bitter and angry, men will be attracted to light and confidence that radiates within you. And then, when you least expect it, you'll find that men will be there for you. So, no... I'm not going to give you advice on revenge. Because the problem isn't with the men, the problem, my dear is you.
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A
female
reader, cfemale +, writes (9 December 2008):
 Excuse me Tisha, but the day that I posted a question here and as soon as I read the advice posted back I responded immediately and I'm Irish too.
I can't help this girl here, I don't think anybody can, she is too angry, full of resentment and needs to realize that will only get worse if she doesn't seek help from a counselor IMMEDIATELY!!!
I think this site is wonderful and am so grateful for the Aunts who took time out of their lives to help me!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): Bravo Ms.Lestat Bravo!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): opps... guess you made me a little angry. Sorry dear caller, we don't do revenge here. "The only revenge is a life lived well."
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): "On this site is wonderful uncles and aunts that will always be prepared to help and assist you in a positive manner." (MammaMia)....... Unfortunately MammMia, I ain't a wonderful positive aunts. This "young" lady needs a serious reality check.
Dear Ms Anonymous, you present as aged 26-29 (overage)and currently living in the republic of Ireland. You have come to the wrong place if you want advice on revenge. This is a place for helping people with their relationship problems. We can't help you with a relationship because you've never had one, and don't seem to want one in the future. I'm sure your actually about 10years old, cause you sound like a little child, who thinks the world owes you something, without you giving anything back or having to do any work at all.
As Uncle Phil has says, we don't know anything about you, except you are a nasty vidinctive person, who wants to hurt others because they have better sense than to get involved with you. Guys don't want to go out with you, not because of your looks or attractiveness, it's actually your personality that is at fault here.
Why should anyone go out with somebody as hurtfull as you. You liked some guys, and they didn't fall in love with you, so you tried to hurt them and when that didn't work, you come here looking for weapons to hurt them with. It's not their fault they don't like you, they don't like you, because your not very nice.
If you had asked how to find a guy and start a relationship, we would have tried to help. Your alone, well a lot of people on the board are alone too, but they don't come here looking for ways to hurt people. On this board are women and men who have suffered child abuse, rape, assult, these people have suffered badly, but they don't talk about revenge, they ask to be helped to make the best of their lives. Other people come here in pain, and stay arround to help other people out.
But not you, your too immature and selfish to think about anybody but yourself. Your not a nice person, you need to grow up and change your ways. Nobody can force anyone to go out with somebody like you.
You want revenge on them guys that rejected you, because they don't like nasty, selfish people. Well join the church, do some voluntary work, learn to help others, try being a good friend to other people, and think about spreading kindness and joy arround the world rather than pain, hurt, and suffering..
Guys like a lot of things about women, attractiveness and looks are one thing they like, but they like other things too. Nobody wants to date a woman who wants to hurt men and find ways to get revenge, for no reason at all... Nobody promised to marry you, nobody has divorced you, nobody has done anything to you at all. You chased away the guys because your personality is wicked. Learn to be a kind, interesting and nice person, and then you might make a guy interested enough to date you. Men don't like you, because your not very nice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): reading your posting made me think of an old saying by Erica Jong: " Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame".
YOu have received good advice and yes, with some more information as Uncle phil suggested, maybe you could even get more. Irish Murdoch said: " We can only learn to love by loving". I think you need to think about that carefully. Start loving yourself and those around you and love might find you. It is not possible to force someone to love you but "waht can pay love but love"? (a quote by Mayr de la Manley).
To try and hurt others will not bring you happiness. Instead, why not just change your attitude and attract positive things towards you. Revenge is never sweet, you will only hurt yurself even more. On this site is wonderful uncles and aunts that will always be prepared to help and assist you in a positive manner. BUt you need to want help to improve yourself and your interaction with people. Men can sense when you are to keen or when you are bitter towards there gender.
I am sure that when you give an update to Tisha and Uncle Phil and all the other uncles and aunts, they will be able to assist you with more direct information on how, where and what you can do to improve your chances to happiness.
Two things to remember: "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get them interested in you".(quoted by Dale Carnegie)
and
"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead). (Oscar Wilde).
You deserve love and happiness and here on this site we want to help you, but you need to be prepared to help yourself and to accept the assitance and the helping hands that are reaching out to you.
Forget about revenge as that is not what you really want. Update the uncles and aunts and let them try to help you to find that person that will bring love and happiness to your life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): Let's start on the bottom rung of the ladder. I need to know more about you. I need to know your height, weight, vital statistics, hairstyle, favourite perfume, favorite clothes choice and which film or pop star you most resemble.
After that, I can probably give you a better idea.
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A
female
reader, mz_lani1  +, writes (8 December 2008):
 Stop worrying about being rejected or not having a boyfriend. It's ok to be rejected or not have a boyfriend. That's the fun part of being single, not rejected. Being rejected is an awful feeling but you'll get over it. It just takes time to really look for that special one. Just go out and have fun. Just be yourself at all times. Ur time will come to have a boyfriend. Some people are meant to have a boyfriend and some people aren't. Just be patient. Don't pressure yourself too hard on this and you don't need no tips to get revenge because it'll bite you back in the butt twice as much. U really need to pray on this. Do not seek revenge. I know you've been hurt but you should use that to be strong and not care about why men rejected you. You need to grow up with all this revenge tips. Get with the program, you are 30 years old, go out and have fun, and just be you. Then maybe a man will see you for who you really are. God bless, Happy Holidays and Good Luck..
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (8 December 2008):
 Oh dear!
So you realise you want to hurt someone else because you are hurting? You are 30yrs of age should you not be trying to put your energy into getting your self esteem back on track rather that being nasty and cruel because you think this is ok!
You have a lot of anger in you sweetheart It would be a lot better to focus on yourself and healing you.. Than hurting some poor guy because you are pissed off with the whole male population, As that is what your post sounds like...
http://jorees.wordpress.com/2007/03/30/anger-a-personal-reflection-on-how-to-deal-with-anger-positively..
I don't really think that many of the uncles will want to give you tips on how to hurt a guy hunny, I've been hurt plenty and I wouldn't dream of it...I've popped in a link to hopefully help you TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 December 2008):
 Have you ever read some of the posts from the men who get dumped badly? They hurt too, and they suffer. If you want to hear about a man suffering from a bad breakup, why not do it vicariously, rather than inflicting pain on another human for no reason other than to try to lessen your hurt and anger? So I'm not sure why you feel the need to add suffering to the world. There's plenty of it already.
This anger inside you, it's consuming you and harming you. It's making you bitter and old before your time. It's contributing to your loneliness because very few people want to be around an angry, bitter person.
There have been quite a few posts from a female in your age bracket with an Irish flag. They seem quite similar, and not once has the question asker responded to any of the advice or thoughts that the aunts have written.
We are volunteers here, answering questions as best we can, taking time out of our lives to think about other people and their suffering and how they might best be helped. Now you're suggesting that you want to make someone suffer; that really rubs me the wrong way, and makes me think that answering you here is just a waste of time, as you don't seem to hear anything that people have written to you.
I think you do need to seek counseling, you do need some help with sorting things out in your own head. Otherwise, you'll be in exactly the same place a year from now, and then the next year after that. Is that what you really want? I don't think so. I think you're writing here because you don't know what to do. And I also think it's plain to most of us, if not you, that you would benefit from counseling.
With best wishes for a peaceful and happy future.
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A
male
reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be +, writes (8 December 2008):
 I think you're overreacting waaaaay too much here. Have you ever read "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens? Does the name "Havisham" ring a bell?
I agree with emporessmystique: you need to go see someone about this anger. You've assumed and gerneralized too much at once and let it get to your head. Don't get into the situation where, if out of the blue, the perfect guy comes along, and your mind still refuses to give him a try.
If you really have thrown in the towel, I suggest giving yourself a new aim in life. Maybe, learn to play an instrument? Or write a book? You could base it on how you feel right now. Just a few suggestions.
I refuse to give you "tips" on hurting people. The simple fact is, you're not the only person in this situation. I'm 16, and I kinda know how defeated you feel when something like this happens. I reckon I'm one of the only people in my year who has never been in a relationship.
Revenge is not the answer. It's not the end of the world. Men dont hate you. I personally take offense at being called "a shallow prick," and I have no idea how many guys on this site would give you tips on how to hurt them. You havent thought this through, and need to calm down.
I'm sorry. But I'm afraid that's the simple truth.
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