A
female
age
30-35,
*eachForTheSky
writes:Alright, here is my problem.I think i have fallen for this guy. "joe." he is amazing, and seems like everything I've ever wanted in a guy. BUT he has a girlfriend, who is one of my "friends" we arent very close but i've known her for a long time. I don't want to hurt her or come between them. But I DO want to date joe. Would it be so wrong to just wait until they break up and then date him?Plus, to make things harder for me, he and i are very, friendly and flirty naturally. put us together and we basically act like some couples do. (i.e. he puts his arm around me, given me shoulder massages, we joke around together) A lot of people, including his "best friend" (but thats another story..) who is also my ex, a mutual friend, my best friend, and even his current girlfriend! (she hasn't plainly stated that but she has inferred it 2 or 3x this past summer) So, is he totally off-limits? i mean i know he is now because he has a girlfriend. oh and just to clear one thing up, he's not cheating on his girlfriend w/me or using me, he is just really friendly. plz don't say he's a jerk and i should stay away. Anyway once they break up can i date him (not immediately after of course)
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best friend, flirt, has a girlfriend, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): I don't see why not... you can't force someone to love you so she shouldn't have a problem with it and if she does then she isn't a great friend. But keep your options open before you fall into a trap - there are plenty of fish in the sea.
A
female
reader, ReachForTheSky +, writes (8 December 2008):
ReachForTheSky is verified as being by the original poster of the question I didn't mean to imply that i would be like a vulture, just waiting for the kill. My current "plan" is to make sure he doesnt find out i like him, remain friends with both of them, and wait and see what happens. I will be open to other options if another guy comes along. If they were to eventually break up and something would possibly happen between me and this guy, then i would definately let her know at the very least, if not ask what she thought of it/if she'd hate me.
Any other advice?
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A
female
reader, Too Sensitive +, writes (8 December 2008):
How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot so to speak? In other words, if he were your boyfriend, then the 2 of you broke up and one of your friends then started dating him? How would that make you feel? Even if you're not "close" with her, in my opinion you owe it to her to ask her if she's okay with you dating him, if they ever do break-up. What if they don't break-up? What if they stay together? Then what? It's okay to like him in this way - you can't help how you feel about him. But I don't think you should let him know, since at the moment he's with someone else.
I remember dating a guy for a month or two. We were friends first, dated, then went back to being friends. My gf liked him and asked me if I would be okay if they dated. I honestly did not mind and told her so. They dated but only for a short time also. I appreciated that she asked how I felt about it first, before starting to date him.
I also remember a few years ago feeling very attracted to a man whose son was in my son's scout troop. I was single and by the way he acted I thought he was single too. We never hooked up, thankfully. I found out some time later that he was actually married. Once I knew this, it killed the attraction for me. I will never mess around with somebody else's guy.
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