A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, here's the thing and it's a pretty big thing. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year. We dated for about four months before we got more intimate. First it was 'making out', then she would give me a 'hand job' for want of a better phrase and then it progressed to her giving me oral sex. If I tried to return the favour, she wouldn't let me. At first I thought that maybe there was something physically wrong with her. I've seen her naked and she is a vision of perfection so nothing wrong there. For almost twelve months we have never had full penatrative sex. Everytime I asked she would just say that "Patience is a virtue" and things like that. So, last week, I decided to sit her down and ask her why we have never had sex. I told her that I love her more than anything (which I do) and please would she just talk to me. Then came the explaination. She told me that she was raped about five years ago and that she now has HIV because of it. Naturally, I was shocked. But I could now understand why we haven't had sex. I comforted her the best way that I could and I've told her that my feelings for her haven't changed, I'm still in love with her, and it is possible for us to have sex and long as I use protection. She said that she would want that more than anything but is too afraid that something may go wrong and she would pass the disease to me. I'm well aware of the risks but I want us to make love. Can I contract the disease if I gave her oral sex and how big is the risk of me catching something if we do have full sex with protection?
View related questions:
hiv , oral sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kaylagal  +, writes (19 March 2009):
 If you have a cut in your mouth, it's possible to contract HIV thru oral sex - but with no cuts, it's not possible. You can't contract it by using condoms but they are not always 100%.
Best of luck. Maybe both of you should visit a center and get more educated on HIV.
Thank you so much for being such a good person, and pliz if you ever break up, keep her status a secret..
Best of luck.
A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x +, writes (19 March 2009):
 I'm so sorry to hear about the trauma she's been through, it's such a shame that it's left her with something so physically damaging, let alone the mental damage.
I think it is possible to contract it via oral sex, but I also think it's possible to use the protection designed for that, dental damns and such. But please don't try that without being certain. I must say though, you're a very lovely person for supporting her.
There are couples who have sex and who are intimate with each other, where there's one partner who has HIV. However, you should both make an appointment with the doctor and talk it over, they'll be able to tell you what options you have and how you can prevent infection.
On a latter note, the aforementioned couples.. one did have a mishap and the condom split, but there was medication available at the hospital for immediate use which killed the virus before it settled in and infected the man.
Good luck with your relationship, and I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help.
...............................
A
male
reader, fwddgs +, writes (19 March 2009):
OK, I don't know the answer about giving her oral sex, but HIV can only travel through bodily fluids. As long as there is no fluid exchange, there's no risk. Wear a condom, use an oral dam and you can have all the sex you like and you'll never catch it. My ex had a partner of 6 years, he was HIV+ve and the partner to this day remains negative because they were careful.
...............................
|
