A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:OK, I've been going out with this beautiful, lovely guy for a little over 3 months now. I really feel strongly for him but there are 2 big obstacles that I need help with. Firstly, his past. To be frank he doesn't have one. I've asked him a few times now and... something happened a while back and he just can't remember anything beyond a few years ago. Ordinarily that wouldn't be a problem, until I told my parents about him and they want to know his background. I've told them that he doesn't know and they don't believe me. Secondly, he studies performing arts, is a very convincing actor and he likes to play tricks on me. He's done this a lot, just for fun but recently... he really got to me. He convinced me he liked something, got me to believe it for 3 days, slowly changing his personality with they act until he was a completely different person and then told me it was all a joke. Now I don't know what's real or what isn't. Maybe all of it has been a lie. Maybe he does have a past and he's just made up this trauma. Maybe his whole personality was a lie. Maybe he never really felt anything for me at all. I don't know what's going on any more. Please help me. How can I find out what is real? How can I trust him again? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (19 March 2009):
 To be honest, this man sounds a bit troubled. It maybe ok to be mysterious/ private but there maybe all sorts of unresolved issues from his past that he doesn't wish to get into with you. This might not make him a bad person - he maybe insecure and trying to hold back on his life story to make himself interesting to you. It could be something more emotionally difficult for him that he isn't prepared to discuss. However you won't know what is 'real' about him until he is willing to tell you. He is clearly playing games with you and getting kicks out of this which is a bad sign. You have two choices: if you have patience, maybe hang around a bit longer to give him the opportunity to reveal himself to you, or leave him and find someone more straight-forward.
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