A
female
age
30-35,
*elpmenowplease
writes:well ; i am currently preqnant for my mother's brother son - myfirst cousin. it was all a mistake. we were drunk and had sex. i want to keep the baby but my entire family is against it due to the fact they said it is cross dna and would come out abnormal. can someone give me some type of advice ? i am just scared of doing another abortion. i had 3. i dont want to loose my chance of having kids. please help me asap.
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female
reader, WordsCards +, writes (9 August 2010):
I really feel bad for you. It is not going to ruin your chances for having kids one day if you have another abortion. 3 abortions or 4 abortions, it doesn't really make much of a difference.
Having drunken sex is sometimes classified as sexual assault if you were incapacitated (passed out) or too incoherent to say no.
You can minimize your risk of future pregnanices if you
PLEASE START USING CONDOMS and a water-based spermicide together.
Also, be aware that when drinking, bad things can happen. You may want to limit yourself to ONE drink when you are out or only get drunk around women. Don't even drink with a boyfriend because it's likely you'll have unprotected sex.
A
female
reader, helpmenowplease +, writes (9 August 2010):
helpmenowplease is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes he does. we both got to realize since we are older that we were dumb and now we understand how it feels to give up an innocent child.
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A
female
reader, jaylee kristen +, writes (8 August 2010):
 Now sweety this is just my opinion but no more obortions its not good if you want to keep this baby I believe you should even if it is your cousins baby I wouldn't listen to the family because its your choice not there's and they will eventually get over it because they love you. Does your cousin want the baby also?
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female
reader, helpmenowplease +, writes (8 August 2010):
helpmenowplease is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni understand; those 3 abortions were for my ex boyfriend. and i was very stupid to give them up like that i wish i never did. i am just so confused with all my past decisions .
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): In england where i am from it is perfectly legal to marry your cousin and has kids with your cousin etc, okay, not many do but its allowed. I know kids born from 1st cousin mixing and its not done them any harm. I think the US are a bit worrisome and you are really only gonna get majoy difficulties if you keep breeding with cousins. Heck, the people who live across the road to me are cousins and have 4 perfectly healthy children. If you want to keep your baby, that you keep your baby. I don't know why you have had 3 abortions already and i'm not gonna ask/judge ... all i say is that with this pregnancy, do what YOU think is best, not what everyone else thinks is best.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): I must ask why you have already had three abortions.
Do you not use protection?
Have you been trying to get pregnant?
Having had three abortions at your age I must conclude that you have been trying for a baby but for some reason have aborted the pregnancy each time. I don't understand what is going on here.
The alternative is that you are completely irresponsible regarding contraception, and have not even managed to get the morning after pill on any of these occasions (maybe you have and there have been more pregnancies).
I am inclined to say that you are irresponsible and thoughtless, based on your past record and the fact that you are pregnant again. I am also guessing that this pregnancy wasn't planned either.
You need to learn to think for yourself and become more mature and responsible before you have a child, whether it's your cousin's or not. You clearly have no concept of the consequences of unprotected sex if you have had several abortions already. I think you need to grow up before you even contemplate bringing up a baby as you do not seem to be able to handle simple situations in an adult and responsible manner.
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female
reader, xXJDXx  +, writes (8 August 2010):
So you've already had 3 abortions to men that aren't related to you yet you want to keep a baby that will be your cousin/son/daughter? I'm sorry Hun but that's not right, can you imagin growing up with people bullying you because your dad and mom are also your cousin? Kids can be horrible enough these days without that kind of stigma, in some places your actually allowed to marry your cousin but to my memory it's actually ILLEGAL to have a child with your cousin. I would not go ahead with that pregnancy. Sorry to say I do think it's a bit wrong.
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (8 August 2010):
 Wow, three abortions? NOw a fourth? Why aren't you locked up? Your parents can't do anything with you obviously, and now you've had sex with your first cousin?
Please get some help, get some therapy and find out why you are so irresponsible and so self destructive.
I am sorry if this sounds harsh, well, no I am not sorry, I don't feel sorry for you. You can't learn or grow from your mistakes. This means there is something very wrong with your mental state, do you get that? You have no business bringing a child of any kind into the world, especially not one who is at a much higher risk of having genetic abnormalities or illnesses due to the inbreeding between first cousins. It is possible that everything will turn out just fine, but the odds are much higher than usual that there could be problems. Infants born to first cousins are at an increased risk of dying in the first year of life over other newborns, something like a 33 percent increased risk. Do you want to go through something like that? Why do you want to keep this one as opposed to the other three? Just wondering why now?
No one can tell you what to do, that is your decision. I just hope for everyone's sake that you will ask your parents to get you some therapy and help so that you can stop this kind of irresponsible destructive behavior.
Haven't you heard of the birth control pill for God's sake?
Can you handle swallowing a pill? Can you keep track of that with a pack with numbers for the days of the calendar on it? Can you do that little thing for everyone's best interest?
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A
female
reader, LucyandMikeforever +, writes (8 August 2010):
 Don't do it keep the baby it will be fine my family said the same to me I'm pregnant with my first cousins baby 2. Ask you doctor to teat you they did that to me and the results said the baby had no defects. Keep the baby it shouldn't have to die for your mistakes. I hope I helped
~Lucy
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): your family is right on this one, you won't lose your chance of having children. But it is unfair to bring the child into the world that could have difficulties. This child will grow up knowing its your fault. use protection...its just not right!
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