A
female
age
30-35,
*aliMoore
writes:[OP original title]My best male friend and i have been close for 3 years now, hes pretty much always had feelings for me, for the first 2 years of friendship i didnt really feel the same, so we remained friends. Then he expressed his feelings for me recently multiple times within the last few months or so, this time i've felt the same back. So when he told me he liked me, i told him i felt the same, and suggested we start seeing eachother, so that we dont rush into things and ruin our good friendship. Later he then tells me that he doesnt want a relationship and that he wants to be just friends, his reasons; -that i deserve someone better than him.-hes scared that if we go out and something happens we wouldnt stay friends afterwards. -hes scared that he will be a crap bf and hurt me.So he tells me that maybe its a good idea for us to stay just friends, after having this conversation with him, i accepted what he said and from that point on - treated him as just a friend, no flirting, hugging, kissing etc.But since i've stopped and now only treat him as a friend, he then changed the way he acts with me, he tries and tries to get as much attention from me as possible, he randomly hugs or cuddles me, holds my hand, and kisses me. What has confused me is.. if he wants to be friends and nothing more, so he wont hurt me, why the sudden affection? hes inviting me out practically everyday (unless work or family events) our families think we're together because we've spent the last 2/3 weeks together. He initiates the affection which makes us look couply, and acts like a boyfriend. Yet he tells me, we're'supposed' to be doing just friends, yet hes initiating all of this when hes the one that set the rule?He suggested we be just friends just over a week ago (sat) and since tues hes been acting like we're more than friends. Do i pull back and stop the affection so we remain just friends, do i enjoy it while im happy and hope it goes somewhere, or do i confront him? - which hasnt really worked in the past might i add.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): I've gone through pretty much the same thing and found that going along with it and enjoying it works well. He probably started to get really afectionate because you started acting like just frinds, no hugs, no flirting and he wants your attention. Just go with it and if it feels too uncomfortable or it still bugs you that you arent going anywhere then confront him. Be nice though and dont make him feel trapped in a corner.
Good Luck!
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