A
female
age
36-40,
*shpash
writes:Hi I don't know if I am over reacting but my boyfriend is really bugging me 'cause he keeps sending messages to his ex, it's nothing flirty but it bothers me 'cause I am pregnant right now and he keeps on calling her Aunt Sara and things in the messages and I've never even met the girl! Everything he does he keeps making me feel like he's the only one having this baby, like he went in a mood all day 'Cause I finally spoke up and said I didn't like the name he chose and his answer was "well my mum and sisters like it" or even the fact that I didn't want it to be a catholic because I'm not, he went in another mood about that even though he's not a practicing one. He wants everything his way with the baby yet he's happy to go out with his friends all the time and he's always got more important things to do than see me. I am sooo frustrated right now, I feel like I don't even want him, but I would if he had some time for me.
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female
reader, maria14r  +, writes (12 April 2007):
the way i see it if he's going to be there for the baby then yes he has say so on the baby but if you see that he's not going to be there for the baby then he cant say anything. you two should choose a name that you both are happy with. lil thing will bother you while your pregnant and you need to meet that girl if he wants to be freinds with her or tell him to quit talking to her cuz that aint right.
A
female
reader, luvme247 +, writes (12 April 2007):
 You might be over reacting a little because you are pregnant and your hormones are out of whack. Things that normally wouldn't bother you might seem like a bigger deal to you now. I think that your boyfriend is excited about becoming a dad and he is sharing the excitement with his ex by calling her "Aunt Sara". If he thought that he was doing something wrong then he would have tried to hide it from you, and he didn't, so if it bothers you, then you are going to have to talk to him about it or he'll keep doing it. I think that you should tell him that it is a little inappropriate, and tell him that it bothers you. He should respect that. It would be different if she was a close friend of both of yours, but she isn't. Your boyfriend is going to be excited about the baby and you don't want to discourage him from trying to pick out names, as it should be a joint decision. However, if you don't like a name then just tell him that you don't like it and move on to the next one. You will find one that you both like eventually. And if you don't once you are lying in the hospital bed, he will let you call the baby whatever you want to after he sees what you had to go through... As far as religion goes, if your boyfriend isn't practicing now then he probably still won't be after the baby is born, so you probably won't even have to worry about it. He might just be getting pressure from his family about it. Tell him you have enough on your mind. That is a decision you can make together later... after the baby is born.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): Hi! You should read "The five Languages of Love" from Cary Chapman with your boyfriend. It seems that your language of love is "beeing toghether", but his is not. He may has one of the four other language: acceptance, gifts, helpfulness and caress. The idea is, that you would have to speek his language to him and he would have to speek yours to you, which means that he should try to spend more time with you to make you feel beloved. But read this book to understand more about it!
The other question is about the baby. As long as you are not married, all the rights are rights for the baby are with the mother. That means, there is nothing he can command you. At least in my country that's like this. And if he doesn't want to see you, it will be difficult for him to see his baby....
You should speak with him and try explain your feelings. Read the book and talk about it with him. Don't make any menaces towarts him. Only just talk to him about the facts how you feel and ask him to try to understand you.
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A
female
reader, beanie0216 +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Aw!!! That's horrible. I know how it feels to have someone that doesn't practice the same religion. I'm Christian and my bf doesn't believe. So it's hard on both of you. But he should respect you for your decision. Your baby's religion though, you should discuss together. You are the one carrying the baby. He's not. You should both decide on a name you like together. It's not his mom's child, or his sister's child. It's your child and his child. You guys decide on a name, without anyone interfering. I say talk to him and tell him you don't like how things have been lately, and you want him to spend more time with you. You might say you don't want him, but that isn't what is best for your child. You guys have to stop only thinking about yourselves and he has to stop acting lke achild going out with his friends. You uys have a huge responsibilty on your hands, and you have to start acting like it. If you weren't ready, then maybe you shouldn't have planned to have a child. He should not be talking to his ex. I mean if they have been friends after and you were okay with that than fine, but you aren't ok with that you don't even know her. I say you should say something to him like your ex isn't in this picture. It's you me and our baby. To me it sounds like he has to grow up a little. Good Luck any questions e mail me.
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A
female
reader, Sparkles +, writes (12 April 2007):
This is a very difficult time for you both physically and mentally and the pressure must be worse as to how the father is treating you. You have as much right in how your child is raised if not more than the father and you must make him aware of this. I suggest that you either write down how you feel in a letter to give to him or have a conversation about how he is upsetting you. If he still refuses to treat you the way you deserve to be treated i would suggest that you have a trial seperation. I know this may not seem ideal in your circumstances however there is pleanty of support for people out there just like you (ask your doctor or search the internet) A seperation will leave you to focus on the important arrival of your baby and maybe make him realise what he has lost. I hope this is helpfull-good luck.
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