A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Do you agree with this? ---- "when guys who keep trying to flirt with you but also make clear to you that he's not going to have a relationship with you... he's just trying to find a f*ck buddy or friends with benefits"If you don't agree with this,then what do you think?
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flirt, friend with benefits Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (25 February 2011):
 Your welcome.
Yes it could very well be that he is just comfortable with you to make those kinds of jokes. I make sexual jokes with friends of mine who I have known for a while because we know it's all in good fun.
There is definitely hints of sexual desire within the jokes but if he is just making jokes once and a while I would just say it is in a joking way and he is not trying to take it further. It's hard to say because on one hand it sounds like he wants you but if that was the only case with those kinds of jokes then it may have just been for fun.
I wouldn't take it too seriously and just not get too involved with it because even if he is interested you probably want to be with someone who will approach you with a more sincere method.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo Mr.Realist:Thank you very much for your reply :-DAs for the sexual jokes, could it be possible that he was just joking and he didn't mean anything because both of us are bubbly people? We joke around a lot...but it was really his first time to make sexual jokes towards me. So I found it a bit awkward...Well...I don't know. He's just 19. I'm not sure whether he really had sexual thought about me. He told me more than once that we were friends. That's why I think he just treats me as "one of the guys". He's comfortable with me, so he said whatever he wanted. I tried not to take his sexual jokes too seriously or read too much into it because he's just a boy and all boys are always horny...anyway, I'm not sure.....I'm very inexperienced and naive when it comes to guys, sex, and dating.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (8 February 2011):
After that situation I would definitely say he is only after friends with benefits. He wants to mess with you and thats about it. Now it isn't wrong to just have that kind relationship like one where you just keep it at words with him unless you want it to go further. It is flirting, it's just a very risky type of flirting because you could easily take offense to it.
He wouldn't be good bf material based on this but again it is a type of flirting that would probably get him slapped if he didn't know you the way he does.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo Mr.The Realist: Thank you very much for your reply.
Actually I'm very naive and inexperienced when it comes to guys and dating issues.Sometimes I'm not sure whether guys flirt with me or they are just being very friendly.
Do you regard the following two situations as flirting?Actually,it's the same guy.
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The guy: hey xxx(my name), you've got a sexy face. Tim (a boy I used to like/infatuate a lot) wants to have sex with your face.
Me: shut the f**k up!!! say it again!!!!
The guy: ok, Tim wants to have sex with your face.
Me: .\_/.
The guy: Is that your face?
Me: Yes! I'm angry!
The guy:cos it looks like a vagina. No wonder Tim wants to have sex with your face.
Me: f**k off!
The guy: Tim wants to f**k you
Me: Don't act like a dick!!
The guy: if i were a dick i'd stick it your face
(Tim definitely has never ever said something like this to the guy or to me)
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The guy kept tripping over my feet and said,"hey,walk properly!" He also kept playing with my hair.He said,"your hair is just like lady ga ga!" I said,"what?!how come?Lady gaga is slutty!" He said,"haha,i was just joking.You know I love your hair!"
Once this guy and I were alone in my friend's bedroom because I was charging his mobile phone for him. When I was kneeling down and was charging his phone for him,he also knelt down behind me.He suddenly touched and played with my hair.He stroked my hair playfully and he kept
laughing!He also put some small stuff inside my t-shirt and he kept laughing when he saw my reaction.
When I asked him what was wrong with him.He just kept laughing!Then he suddenly stood up and closed the door of the bedroom and then continued touching my hair!
Once he even put my hair into his mouth and he bit it,and he told me,"xxx(my name),the smell of your hair is even better than your cooking"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo Mr.The Realist: Thank you very much for your reply.
Actually I'm very naive and inexperienced when it comes to guys and dating issues.Sometimes I'm not sure whether guys flirt with me or they are just being very friendly.
Do you regard the following two situations as flirting?Actually,it's the same guy.
--------------------------------------…
The guy: hey xxx(my name), you've got a sexy face. Tim (a boy I used to like/infatuate a lot) wants to have sex with your face.
Me: shut the f**k up!!! say it again!!!!
The guy: ok, Tim wants to have sex with your face.
Me: .\_/.
The guy: Is that your face?
Me: Yes! I'm angry!
The guy:cos it looks like a vagina. No wonder Tim wants to have sex with your face.
Me: f**k off!
The guy: Tim wants to f**k you
Me: Don't act like a dick!!
The guy: if i were a dick i'd stick it your face
(Tim definitely has never ever said something like this to the guy or to me)
--------------------------------------…
The guy kept tripping over my feet and said,"hey,walk properly!" He also kept playing with my hair.He said,"your hair is just like lady ga ga!" I said,"what?!how come?Lady gaga is slutty!" He said,"haha,i was just joking.You know I love your hair!"
Once this guy and I were alone in my friend's bedroom because I was charging his mobile phone for him. When I was kneeling down and was charging his phone for him,he also knelt down behind me.He suddenly touched and played with my hair.He stroked my hair playfully and he kept
laughing!He also put some small stuff inside my t-shirt and he kept laughing when he saw my reaction.
When I asked him what was wrong with him.He just kept laughing!Then he suddenly stood up and closed the door of the bedroom and then continued touching my hair!
Once he even put my hair into his mouth and he bit it,and he told me,"xxx(my name),the smell of your hair is even better than your cooking"
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A
female
reader, NoControl  +, writes (7 February 2011):
It's extremely difficult to be friends with benefits. Take it from me. Emotions come into play and you can't help it. You fall in love. Unless, of course there is no connection. If he doesn't want a relationship with you then tell him to find someone else if you don't want FWB. Respect yourself.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 February 2011):
 Very likely he's just trying to find a ffff buddy or a friend with benefits.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (6 February 2011):
That could very well be the case or he just likes to flirt with you and wouldn't go any farther than that. Flirting can be something you do just for fun while you are around certain people. Chances are he would jump on being friends with benefits but he isn't directly going for that.
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