A
male
age
30-35,
*hatOtherGuy
writes:This girl and I are fairly close... well, really close. We have never been boyfriend and girlfriend, but we have kissed and we exchange "I love you"s a lot. The things I don't understand:1. She said she loves me and likes me, but she doesn't wanna be with me. She said "I want to be with you because of the things you do, not just because." What the hell does that mean?2. When she's away she always talks to me a lot, about how much she loves me and how she wants to have sex with me and all this stuff, but when she returns, nothing changes. What's up with that?3. She knows that we aren't gonna be able to hang out much this summer (I'm leaving the state) but every time I ask her to do something she's doing something with her goddamn friends. And she doesn't even invite me to come. But she apologizes for it, like that's supposed to make me feel good about it. WTF? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, ThatOtherGuy +, writes (31 May 2009):
ThatOtherGuy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you guys
A
female
reader, bootyboot +, writes (30 May 2009):
she's playing you like a fiddle darling and you're letting her get the upper hand. Here's what you need to do, take my advice, it will work I swear:
i'd start acting like a jerk to her, not mean, but just cocky like you don't care what she's doing or any of that...that will get her attention and then she should start treating you with respect. But just act cool towards her like she's not that great and you've got plenty of other women in the wings (u can exaggerate that part.) Just don't be mean, but be sarcastic and cocky and that will change her tune. She thinks maybe you're too available and easy to get so you have been relegated to the backup boy. But if you get out of that territory by acting cocky, then you might turn things around.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, Prophet7 +, writes (30 May 2009):
Humans tend to make things that are simple into complex problems. When someone tells you who they are by their behavior, words, or other actions believe them. She shows you that you are something fun to do when she feels like doing it. She loves kickin it with you when it's convenient. Believe what you see and not what you hear. She talks a good game but when it's time to play the game she sucks. Talk is cheap, she just wants to keep you around in case she has nobody else to hang out with. Sounds like you're not her first option. I'm just callin it how I see it. You're her friend with benefits. Just be her friend, she wouldn't be a good match for you. She's more interested in spending time with others and not you. Hope my advice helps you. God Bless... Prophet7
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A
male
reader, ThatOtherGuy +, writes (30 May 2009):
ThatOtherGuy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have told her how I feel about everything...If I bring it up again she's just gonna think I'm bitching at her or something.
And can you even call this the friend-zone? I'm not even part of her lil social circle...she's with them like 20 times as much as she's with me. I feel like more of a text buddy than anything.
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A
female
reader, lah mouw +, writes (30 May 2009):
 1. "I want to be with you because of the things you do, not just because." What the hell does that mean? Being girl myself (according to the quote) it looks like it means that she wants to be with you because of the way you are/act you know... some guys do cute things say cute things or in general have an appealing personality.2. It seems she's a lot of talk but no action, it may be because she's nervous to actually act upon how she feels in fear of making things awkward or changing the relationship between you two. Or she's just plain scared. 3. It sounds like she's just busy. I don't think she means much harm. My huge suggestion is you talk to her about how you feel and the way she's acting especially because she's not a mind reader, so you can't expect her to just know what's going on. hope that helped at least a little bit!hope everything works out.
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (30 May 2009):
 honestly dear she sees you as a friend she loves therefore technically you're in the friend zone. She doesn't want to ruin your relationship but she likes you, she also might be waiting to see if any other guy is out there for her...
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