A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been talking to this boy he’s in the same year as me but in a different school and tonight we were playing truth or dare I asked him what the most he had done with a girl is and he said he wants to take it back but he’s fingered someone.Ohhh yeah and him and the girl are both 13. For some reason this really upset me and he’s saying he’s so sorry and sad that I’m upset and I really don’t know what to do someone help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Crystal1974  +, writes (4 January 2018):
Well I think that you can’t judge somebody for the past. And if he like him and he said he was sorry about putting himself in that situation. You have to think to yourself if you believe him how much you like him. You both need to talk about your boundaries open and honestly from the beginning.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (23 December 2017):
 Your gut instinct is telling you that you are not ready for this sort of information exchange. You may feel peer pressure to get involved but, seriously, you have years ahead of you for this.
I remember when my friends and I found out where babies came from. (One of my class mates had an older sibling who imparted this information in rather graphic detail.) We were all rather traumatised and swore we would never have children or do "that sort of thing". It was just age-inappropriate information, just as your conversations are.
Whether this boy really has done what he says (I am sure I don't need to point out to you that boys will often brag about doing stuff they feel makes them look big), is irrelevant. What is important is that it has made you feel uncomfortable. There is nothing you can do about it - except perhaps not push boundaries in the future and ask questions about stuff that is likely to make you feel uncomfortable.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (23 December 2017):
 Here's what you do.
Stop thinking about him in a sexual way and stick to bring just friends. Focus on studies and be a normal teenager. Don't grow up sooner than you should.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 December 2017):
 I'm not sure what it was about his answer you didn't like but here is the thing. You might find that he has done stuff you find too "advanced" for you age or gross that he did this with someone that wasn't YOU. Either way, I think it might be a little helper for you in NOT pursuing this guy. As he might be looking to do MORE sexual stuff than you are AND... he is also willing to tell people about - BRAG about it. Do you want to be THAT girl? The next girl he will tell people when he has done XYZ sexually?
And I agree. Games like T or D are not really kids games. And asking VERY personal questions might give you VERY personal answers that you didn't want to hear, so don't play.
There will be PLENTY of time for dating and sexual stuff later on. ENJOY not having to do those grown up things because they CAN wait till you are older. Trust me on that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2017): You erase it totally from your mind. It's more than you can handle at your age; and you have to be prepared to be shocked by what you see and hear.
Try your best not to dwell on it. Your mind needs some time to mature enough to understand and deal with some things that come flying at you out of nowhere. Boys tend to get into mischief; sometimes before they know exactly what they're doing.
I might suggest you keep your distance from that young man; because he's gone too far for someone his age.
You might want to avoid games of truth or dare until you're a little older. It's obviously too much for you right now.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (22 December 2017):
 Why, are you supposed to DO something specific about it ? I don't think so.
He is 13, and I suppose you are 13 too. Two children still, legally , socially and according to common sense.
I understand if you got a little shocked , because frankly hearing about people who perform sexual acts at the age they should still stick to Pokemons is a bit creepy.
Anyway, young people are curious, they like to explore , they like to push the envelope, - so you don't need to be too hard on this boy- you just need to not let him involve you in sexual activities nor let yourself be encouraged to follow his example, because it's a negative one. Sexual acts at 13 ? Wrong, dangerous, illegal and, well, just YUCK.
I agree with N91 : you are too young even for this kind of stuff; you are even too young for this kind of talks.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (22 December 2017):
 In what way are you upset? I'm not sure I understand.
Upset that you like him and he has done sexual things with someone else? Or that it was a graphic answer?
Either way I think you're WAY too young for this kind of thing. The legal age of consent in the U.K. Is 16 and it's there for a reason. You're still a child, you shouldn't be thinking about this kind of stuff.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (22 December 2017):
 Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
Give it some time and space to fade, then stop talking about sex at 13.
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A
male
reader, Allumeuse +, writes (22 December 2017):
He hasn't done anything wrong to you, you just don't like his answer! Assuming he's being honest, he can't change what is in the past so you need to unpack why it has upset you. Did you want him to be totally inexperienced? You'd better throw that idea out pretty soon as it is pretty difficult to synchronize things like this with people you like.
Better still, put sex away for a few years. This reaction shows you aren't emotionally ready to deal with the realities of a relationship like this.
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