A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:He and I have been best friends for about 4 years. At the beginning of our relationship as friends he had a crush on me but I didn't see him like ( he liked me for about 6 months I believe but then he got over that and dated a friend of mine) that till this year. Over the summer he and I made out. I gave him a week to think about it because he liked someone else before we made out and a little bit of other things (There was no sex). I asked about a week later (a little bit more) he decided that he wanted to be friends. I was upset and annoyed at this point so I didn't talk to him for about 2 weeks. Then after we started talking again we seemed fine. Then as time was going on by, he started giving me mixed signals. The mixed signals all started when I was upset about my best friend (girl) and I had a major fight and ended our friendship. He came over right away and hugged me tightly and we cuddled. About a week or two later when I went to visit him up at his University we hung out and I was cold so let me borrow his hoodie. I ended up leaving with it, and I called him asking if he wanted me to come back and give it back to him (since he doesn't live to far from my house). He said "Oh well" "I will get it next time I see you". About a week later I asked if he wanted it back, he was like "what?" I said your hoodie? Then he said "oh yeah you have that don't you?" Then he was silent and I was like "do you want it back?" and he was like "oh um sure". So I gave it back to him. (Also I never had his hoodie before at all, since the years I have known him). When we hung out again (which is a lot but mostly I ask him, but if I don't he will, same with calling) I tried cuddling with him and he would let me for a little bit but then move or have me moved (like asking if I will move or something). The last thing that you need to know is when he hung out with one of our other best friend (girl, also the same girl he liked over the summer and he says he doesn't like her anymore but I am unsure of that) about a week ago. What he said was that all he sees me as a friend, and that is all he wants to be with me. Then around Halloween I was scared in the haunted house and I tried to hold his hand at the beginning and I told him I would need someone to hold on to through the haunted house. He didn't really want to at first. But later in the haunted house there was another stop he separated our hand holding, but when we started to go again he held my hand and then he progressed to holding both of my hands (that was his idea not me) or holding the one hand with both of his hands. Then by the end of the haunted house they had food and stuff and a place to take pictures, and he continued to hold my hand through some of that area, but then we both took our hands away at the same time. Then we meet up with one of our mutual best guy friend and he asked how the haunted house was (he was going in with a few of his friends) and I said "It wasn't that bad, I only screamed a few times". Then my best friend said "Yeah, but you held on to me the whole time." I just want to know what is going on, everything is so confusing. How does he feel? What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 I think it is clear here that he just wants to be friends with you and am afraid you just have to accept this. He is giving clear signals to you that he only wants to be friends so for your own sake dont be hugging in to him and trying to hold his hand because i bet sometimes it can make him feel uncomfortable, ok so you hooked up with him a while ago but i think its made him realise that he doesnt want to be with you in that way, so its up to you now if you want to keep him in your life as a friend or nothing at all.
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