A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 23 yrs. old. I have met a guy last year at a club. After a week of dating, we agreed to have a commitment. At first I agreed to it just for fun then I realized I am falling for him. After 2 months of dating, I found out I am pregnant with his child. When I told him, he said he is already married and wanted me to get an abortion. I can't do that because I am against abortion and that I can't bear to kill my own child. Until now, I am still communicating with him and we see each other once a month. I really want to end everything with him but I don't want my child to be an illegitimate child. And I still love him. I really don't know what to do now. Please help me make up my mind. I really want to solve everything before I give birth.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your opinions. I really appreciate it.
A
female
reader, TEM  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 That was a pretty big lie - he dated you for two months and never mentioned that he was married? He wants you to abort so that you don't mess up HIS life, but he's messed yours up plenty. He probably doesn't want his wife to find out about you and the baby. He also doesn't want to be financially obligated to you, should you have the baby. Too bad. He was a married man pretending to be single so as to screw around. He needs to face the consequences of his actions. I hope the legal system in your country makes the father pay child support.If you are against abortion you must do what you think is right. You will have to live with this decision for the rest of your life. There are alternatives to raising the baby yourself. You could put the baby up for adoption.I wish you the best of luck.
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A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 With all due respect I think you should go to a doctor immediately to make sure you and the baby are healthy and stay healthy.
I'm sorry I don't know which country you live in because I don't know flags very well. I'm sure your country has laws about child support. I would go to an attorney and find out what the responsibilities are for the father of your child and then I would sit down and talk to him about these responsibilities. Knowledge is power. I truly wish you and your little one all the very best!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (24 February 2011):
 You have to do what you think is right, but the chances of him leaving his marrage for you are next to zero. Your child will be illegitimate, but that's not the worst thing in the world.
You got duped by a jerk. I'm sorry that happened to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): He may be in shock but ultimately it is up to him to tell his wife. It is your body and your child growing within - do not go against your values as you have to live with whatever decision you make for the rest of your life. This man has lied to you. My best advice in circumstances like this would be to start making plans, including financial, for just you and the baby.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): I think you should stand by your thoughts regarding abortion, that's you decission to make!
It does sound as though you are a secret to be kept, is he still with his wife? does he have a family life with her?
It is important that you do what you want, if he is not willing to take responsibility then there's nothing you can do, his wife may know nothing abouut this so you have to consider her in this event too.
You cannot make someone love you and it sounds like this may have been a flash-in-the-pan, good time fling.
You have to consider that this life growing inside of you is the priority now and if you keep your child (Which you sound to be doing) you focus on giving that child the best you can, the amount of love and happy time with this child will vastly out weigh a lying, coward of a father!
:)
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