A
female
age
30-35,
*aft_goon
writes:Currently i'm working very hard for my AS levels and i know that my life from now on is going to be very difficult and tiring because, wait for it, i want to be a doctor. I want to go to med school and eventually become a consultant. But even now, without having a stressful job, im finding it difficult to spend time with my family, friends and boyfriend while im swimming in all of this work, and after talking to a couple of young doctors they say their life has never been more hectic.Of course i want a family when im older, but i dont want to feel that i havent done anything with my life, and to always be thinking about the "what if.."s. So im wondering.. is it worth it? Is it more important to have time to spend with people you love than achieve your life goals? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): Hey!
Stick to your goals honey! :D I have always wanted to be a veterinarian, and now I am about 4 months away from qualifying. I have a dream job lined up, with a 1:2 rota, which is about normal for a new grad! And i have medic friends who are doing the same, or are currently F1s and F2s!
Basically, we all have a fantastic social life, we understand the constraints on our time, but we make the time on nights off to see eachother, most of us (not me, Im single) have BFs/GFs, and they get time to spend with eachother, and basically we all love it, feel really fulfilled, and happy. Its not easy, its not a free ride, its a lot of hard work but there are a lot of people right there with you, and you all support eachother... Basically stick to your goals! The only What If I worry about is what if I dont pass my finals!
I hope this helps, just keep working hard, and you will achieve your goals and be happy! :D
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 "Is it more important to have time to spend with people you love than achieve your life goals?" Why put limits on yourself? When you're near the end of your life you can look back and say that you've had both; a successful personal life and a successful professional life.
There's a song or a line or something that comes to mind 'to every thing there is a season . . . turn turn turn'. From studies I've read and from my own experiences I know there is no such thing as 'multi-tasking'. Right here, right now, this is what you are focused on but in the blink of an eye it could all change and sometimes it does. Those who truly love you will support you in becoming the best you, you can be. I wish you all the best!
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 In my opinion, achieving your life goals helps you better spend time with those you love because you'll be happier.
Very little in life worth having comes easy. It's how you deal with hardship that tempers a relationship. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): I understand how you feel. I am in a very similar situation, though I'm older than you. The good news is that you can do both! But you need to have self-discipline. Here are some tips:
* Recognize that you do not have to choose between your career and your family. What you do have to do, however, is to manage expectations so you create the space to do both.
* Communicate. Sit everyone down separately, and explain your ambitions. But also explain that this means you won't be able to do as much with them.
* Manage expectations. Be clear with your boyfriend and family about what you can and can't do. If you can't make a family event, or a date, say so. If you can't make a date, say so. Being honest and upfront really helps.
* Be firm. People will try to persuade you to deviate from your plans. They don't mean to make it tough for you - they're trying to show you that they care and like you. You need to be firm. Say 'I love you, but I can't make that particular event because I have to do homework. I'm sorry, I'm just so busy right now - remember that doctor thing we talked about? Can we do something on another evening instead?'.
* Be persistent. People will KEEP asking you at first, until they get the message that you are sticking to your timetable. They may get a bit annoyed in the short term. In the long term, however, they will respect you for it.
* Manage your time. Get good at planning in advance. Let people know your plans and stick to them.
* Be disciplined. If you've said you'll do 3 hours study, don't spend 1.5 hours watching TV and then wonder why you don't have enough time!
* Be there reliably when you are REALLY needed. You can skip a lot of trivial stuff, but if something big happens and someone's in a complete state and really needs you, you have to drop everything and be there for them.
If you stick to this, you will be able to have both a family AND your career. It's tough at first, but it gets a lot easier. And it's worth it to achieve your full potential.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 Off course it is worth it. You want to be a doctor and that is a great achievement. Sure it is hard work but once you get the career you are working for you will get all of the benefits in return. In saying that yes it is important to spend time with your family and friends but am sure they know how busy you are and therefore you should not but yourself under any stress. It is always good to have a break from studying and in that time you can catch up with friends or family and show them that they are still important. But it is your life and if you want to become a doctor then all the hard work will pay of.
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