A
female
age
41-50,
*aulina17
writes:I met this guy and we had 2 amazing dates full of chemistry and things in common. Something I haven't experienced ever before. For the 3rd date we met at a bar where 3 of his friends were. I think maybe it was a test to see what they would think. I was a bit tipsy (didn't eat dinner) and had a political discussion with one of his friends and the discussion got a bit heated. The next day my guy and I were supposed to see each other after work, but he cancelled at the last minute. The night before when we had gone out he was extremely into me and making plans for the future. The next day after he talked to his friends he completely changed. They must have swayed his opinion. Is there any way for me to turn this around? I've seen him once since then but it has been luke-warm. I really like this guy and see myself with him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shiraz  +, writes (7 November 2008):
hiyahh simply ask him out straight what was wrong. you were yourself and honest in your opinion and your hurt he cannot accept that and resulted to ditching you on his mates judgement. if someone is willing to let that affect what you could possibly have i really dont think hes all that right for you. yes opinions can sometimes be stronger after a few but you werent violent or abusive with your comments so simply ask him why he has a probelm and then gently apologise admitting maybe yes you were slightly forceful in something you felt strongly about. (this way it might help ease the tension.)
if the problem is his mates i think he needs to grow a pair dont you? what you had was going great and hes freaked on his mates opinion? yeah mates have some input but they dont end it for you!
talk to him and explain how you thought things were great and that you saw a future together and hope you can rebuild it and even make it stronger now youve past the tough test (the mates) not everything can go to plan but this is a minnor hiccup you can sort- talk to him and if you really want it bad fight for it but dont back down ever you said what you said for a reason and i think its unfair being made to change how you feel for the likes of anothers opinion everyone is equal to it- just next time stick to water inbetween and steer away from the political side it ALWAYS ends in argument!
best of luck xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008): you cant change how he feels, if u feel that its his friends then talk to him but rember at the day it is dicks over chicks xxx
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A
female
reader, KickRox +, writes (7 November 2008):
 That's interesting. I have the same dilemma..I went out with my boyfriend to a B-day celebration/Halloween party. He told me the weekend after that his friends thought I was a bit quiet. Which I'm not but now things have changed a little between us. Ok this is the thing..his friends-a couple walked into the party which everyone thought was lame. Then, the whole time they were talking about leaving to another party. So, not much time to talk. I did make a little conversation with them but felt like I was making the conversation and my boyfriend was getting the eye contact and response. I mean what's up with that? Now it's like he's looking at every little thing I do. From my point of view..it should matter somewhat what the friends think since you'll be hanging around with them every once in awhile but overall that can't affect how you feel about that special someone. I don't know guys are weird. Lol.
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A
female
reader, KickRox +, writes (7 November 2008):
That's interesting. I have the same dilemma..I went out with my boyfriend to a B-day celebration/Halloween party. He told me the weekend after that his friends thought I was a bit quiet. Which I'm not but now things have changed a little between us. Ok this is the thing..his friends-a couple walked into the party which everyone thought was lame. Then, the whole time they were talking about leaving to another party. So, not much time to talk. I did make a little conversation with them but felt like I was making the conversation and my boyfriend was getting the eye contact and response. I mean what's up with that? Now it's like he's looking at every little thing I do. From my point of view..it should matter somewhat what the friends think since you'll be hanging around with them every once in awhile but overall that can't affect how you feel about that special someone. I don't know guys are weird. Lol.
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A
female
reader, Anonny +, writes (7 November 2008):
It is awful when you think things are going well with someone & then you find they suddenly aren't!!
But it hasn't been too long since you heard from him so maybe he is just thinking things through!!
There may be lots of reasons why he has gone luke warm & it might not necessarily be about you - so keep your hopes up!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008): If he's that easily turned off you by his friends, he probably didn't care about you as much as you thought he did. Hate to break it to you, but that's life. Forget about him and move on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008): It's entirely possible his friends gave you a bad review. If so, you are in a bad position because I'm sure he values their opinions more than someone who he only went on a couple of dates with. I don't know what kind of guy he is. You don't really say but I could see the possibility that a guy might be put off by a date who gets intoxicated and engages in a heated discussion in a public place. Meeting his friends for the first time, it might not have been your best showing.
If I were you, I'd call him and ask point blank if that evening was a problem for him. If that was out of character for you, I would tell him so and let him know you would like to see him again. Put the ball in his court and see what happens. If he is no longer interested, there's really nothing you can do.
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