A
female
age
41-50,
*obbybirdxx
writes:is it wrong for me to have a relationship with a 17yr lad i am a 33yr woman with 2 children, i don't look 33 and he doesn't look 17, we both are very much in love so i wanted to know does age really matter if you're happy? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bobbybirdxx +, writes (2 September 2010):
bobbybirdxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits been over a month now since we have been together and its working well, we have discussed issues that may come up and peoples reactions towards us, i have told my mum and he has too, there not thrilled that were together but love is love and u cant help who u fall in love with, we are taking each day as it comes and if it works it works if not then at least we both have had that experience thank you all for ur comments and i hope more people will comment on my situation
A
female
reader, Avalon +, writes (27 August 2010):
Enjoy this moment in your lives. He is of legal age, and fully consenting. All that matters is how you both feel about each other.
Even if it only lasts a short while, I'm sure it will be a relationship the two of you will never forget.
I hope it works out for both of you, and wish you a long, happy, healthy life together.
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A
male
reader, Boombadaboom  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Forget about all that legal stuff, really, which a lot of people worry about. Legal is nothing, legal doesn't matter or mean anything. If he's mature enough in his head, then he is old enough. People close to him make that decision, not a law or a rule or whatever. I've seen 17 year olds more mature than most other people. 16 years apart, when you're 53, he'll be 37, that's ok in most people's mind. Ask yourself this... will he benefit from knowing you? Will he become a better man because of you or grow into a great one? It depends on what kind of person you both are of course but there are always cases in which you're good to keep going with this. Love is love, no matter what stands in the way. But just ask yourself those questions and if you work that out, you'll have answered your own question. x x
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A
female
reader, bobbybirdxx +, writes (24 August 2010):
bobbybirdxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questiona mixture of opinions, which what i was looking for thank you for your time x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): In any case, it will not work out. He is too immature to handle Family, be a father to your kids, and i am sure the life will become too hard for him.
I think he is young enough to be ur son. Pl have mercy on him.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Legal age of consent is 16, but he's not properly grown at 17.. it's a bit too cradle robbing for me..
If he was 19, 20 or even 18, I would feel a little bit more comfortable. But he's just left school and is barely legal. There's such a gap in your experiences that it makes me feel uncomfortable.
It's not the age, it's the level of experience and maturity. Heck, maybe he's an old soul, and is mentally and physically 21, while your still innocent and naive at 33 even though you've had children... yep, if it's like that, this thing could work.
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A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (24 August 2010):
 In England, the age of consent is 16, so there is no problem with sex offences.
There is no problem at all with the relationship, although you both need to be fairly thick skinned to deal with what other people will say.
I have been in this situation (19/36), and it is tough for the woman. People, especially those around your own age, will question WHY you are with this young boy. They may claim you are taking advantage, using him for sex, cant get a man your own age, making a fool out of yourself, and all sorts. HE will be seen to be some sort of victim.
You simply have to ignore it all, and enjoy the moment. People like to see the 'norm' and a relationship that has a 16 year age difference is not 'normal' to many.
I was with my older woman for nearly a year, but her career, the age difference, and the skin colour difference eventually provided too many obstacles for her comfort. And thats what its all about really, whether or not you are 'comfortable' with the relationship.
If you can go out for an evening, or a meal without worrying if the other diners are staring or whispering, then go for it. If that sort of response is going to bother you, then I would have some concerns.
But I would love for you both to be happy and enjoy each others company for as long as possible.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 It's 100% wrong. This kid hasn't seen much of life yet and you two are not on the same mental or emotional level. He is a kid half your age! He is young enough to be your son! Is he even out of school yet?
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A
female
reader, spiderweb  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 He is certainly not old enough to take on a mature woman and children too. As long as you're not looking to trade on his inexperience and naivety to persuade him to marry you, and just take the relationship for what it is in the short term, it will be fine. You're the teacher, he's the learner, but equal partners? - not until he's into his mid-20's. He also needs time and space to live his carefree days as a teenager and date different girls of his own age. Don't deprive him of that for responsibilities he's too emotionally immature to deal with.
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A
female
reader, *julia* +, writes (24 August 2010):
I think that it is ok. If you love eachother as much as you say you do, then it is acceptable. Love is so powerful that age shouldn't matter. Stay happy And hope it works!!!! : )
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): It doesn't matter but that is all relative, I think. You are way more mature psychologically at your age and with two children than a 17 year old boy who may not even work yet and has no clue yet about the real world. He may be infatuated with you an will split once any problems appear.
Just my advice about how I see it.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Technically, he's old enough to be your son. Think about it, you would be dating a baby who's got there whole life ahead of him and is still immature. You however have 2 kids and have experienced life some. In America, it would be a crime because he's a minor and you would be forever labeled as a sex offender. Don't know the legal age in Britain, but you need to date someone more on your level and around your age. If your evening asking this question then there is some doubt in your mind.
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A
female
reader, texas_gal +, writes (24 August 2010):
Where are you? What is the legal age of consent there? This is the most important question you should be asking right now. Don't take any chances. If you are truly in love, cool it until he reaches the age of consent. If you still want to continue your relationship then, okay, good luck. If not, then it wasn't meant to be. After all, true love waits. Be careful.
But don't you think you will get bored sooner or later with someone so young and so much younger than you?
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A
male
reader, Boombadaboom +, writes (24 August 2010):
Nope, it doesn't :)
just be happy it's going on and accept it. Let your emotions lead the way and give it a good try. Love is love. No matter what the age, it's always ok.
(as long as one isn't too young ;) but I'm sure 17 is definitely ok)
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