A
female
age
26-29,
*ess111
writes:Im 14 years old and im a lesbian and im in love with my ex maths teacher. ever since i saw her i new i loved her but its getting to the point were its affecting me as a person. Im becoming ver obsessed by checking her facebook account to see if she has changed her profile picture. I now almost everything about her such as her full name including middle , her fiances name , his job , his brothers and sisters , his mom and dad, her brothers and sisters and her mom and dad. I know her favourite televison shows , her favourite books even her best food. I was devestated when i moved up in maths and now its just any excuse to see her or speak to her i even go out my way in the corridoors just to catch a glimps of her. I have fantasies about marrying her and i have even set up a sims 3 games with my name and hers in there. its not just a phase so dont say it , but plz i need help
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female
reader, Loiselle  +, writes (12 July 2011):
 We are glad to help, honey. Someday this will all be behind you and you will find life gets a bit easier after teen years. They are tough on almost everyone!
A
female
reader, jess111 +, writes (12 July 2011):
jess111 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for all the replies ecspecially to loiselle but u all have really helped thaks a lot :) x
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A
female
reader, Drat001 +, writes (11 July 2011):
One of the previous posters is right. Obsession is never good for a relationship, not good for any individual person. You say you know everything about her, but list all superficial things. To truly know a person is to know things like, what's the last thing she does before going to bed at night, what memories from her childhood make her feel comforted, does she like the peanut butter left on the counter or inside the refridgerator? These are things that someone who truly loves her will know and act accordingly to make her feel good and warm. I'm not trying to put you down in any way. I'm saying, knowing "everything" about a person just doesn't happen. A person isn't a football team, something you can recite facts about and reasonably claim to know what they're all about. A person to be loved is experienced, not learned. You know how to climb a tree because you've climbed it and get a feel for it, and after a while, after experiencing it enough, you can get to the top quickly, because you have experience with it. So too is a person. You can best please and provide pleasure (not talking about sexual here) to a person by spending time with them personally. You don't get those things in a professional setting, like school or work.
My suggestion is, while it is not good to obsess about things, you show an aptitude for learning facts. Find a hobby or interest that allows you to put to use your ability to learn things. You seem to also come across as well-organized. You might do well in something like the Air Cadets or in a service organization. Your ability to learn things and organize could bring you success in a service organization. Who knows, you might meet someone there. I did.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): You very much need to talk to someone, not least because you are too young to be labelling yourself ANYTHING yet.
But obsession is never a good idea, just read Moby Dick to see why.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, Loiselle +, writes (10 July 2011):
I am sorry you are hurting so much over this.
When you get a little older, it will seem much different, though I know this is not much comfort now.
You say this is affecting your whole life now and certainly when we become obsessed with someone, this is common. Perhaps you might want to find a counselor to talk with -- someone you can be open with and trust. This could help ease the pain. You may find you develop more self-esteem this way.
Also, try to get involved in things you enjoy. This will help keep your mind off this person and again will give you more self esteem and confidence.
Let us know how you are doing.
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A
male
reader, 83puremage1 +, writes (10 July 2011):
Go to seek for medical help from your doctor. Don't be shy. If you don't feel comfortable with telling your parents or friends, then talk to a social worker.
I think this is a crush only. It will eventually disappear as time passes.
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