A
male
age
30-35,
*B.
writes:I have recently split up with my girlfriend but it was on good terms and we are still talking.She said to me before that she found commitment hard and that I was the only person she had ever really committed to despite her having sex with 3 people before me. Now we have been talking and she is saying she is already looking for a new boy friend because she feels so lonely. What I don't understand is how can she say she doesn't enjoy commitment and then just change as if she needs someone?Also I was wandering the 3 people she slept with before me were all just casual things and I really don't understand this. I know a lot of people around my age (17) and they just like to just sleep around with different guys and I don't understand why. Why do they choose to waste their first time with some random guy or girl rather than actually saving it for someone special and they still continue to do it with no feeling at all for their sexual partners.I'm a boy and usually we are the ones who are thought of as the ones who just sleep around. So why is it that when I sleep around I don't enjoy it and really want and need a strong connection before I really want to sleep with someone. Where as a large majority of the people I know including the majority of my family both men and women do people just enjoy casual sex? Is it because I haven't had much experience besides the girl I got really close to or am I just different to most of the people I know?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): It's because, in today's Western World, people have an easier and more socially acceptable time separating emotional connections from sex.
True, the two intertwine in a relationship. But for the casual-goer just out to have some fun, sex is all about physical pleasure and instant gratification.
Of course no amount of casual sex compare to what it feels like to make love to someone you share a deep, emotional connection with, and that is why a lot of people end up regretting not making the first time special.
Flynn 24
A
female
reader, van1llabeeen87  +, writes (10 July 2011):
 also, sex is supposed to be a special bond that a couple shares and when people have lots of casual sex, it sort of cheapens it and reduces it to a mere physical activity...
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A
female
reader, van1llabeeen87 +, writes (10 July 2011):
I really admire your post. It's very well written and to answer your question....you are a little different to most people in society but in a good way--a really good way. Stay that way; if you ever get married your wife will be very appreciative of you point of view on this. It's a very rare and fine quality for a male to act like a real gentleman these days.
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