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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi there,Please help...I received a text last night while I was having a curry and a few beers with a mate of mine from a number that was unknown. It read, "Hi, do you fancy a $hag?"I ignored this as I am not into cheating and I love my girlfriend more than words can describe.I soon received yet another text saying, "Not playing? Maybe a picture will get you going?" After which a picture message arrived of a breast.I then responded with, "Who the hell are you and what are you doing texting my phone?!!!"To cut a long story short, it was my girlfriend... She's got a new mobile number and was making a 'joke' that was evidently not very funny. She's adament she's trusts me 100% and she wasn't trying to catch me out (which is easy to say after the ordeal), but I'm not so sure as we don't have a relationship where we play those type of tricks or 'jokes' on each other. She was sobbing her heart out last night and I was pretty annoyed (but not shouting, I never shout at her)Am I being unreasonable by being annoyed over this whole ordeal? It felt like a honey trap and the more she says it was a joke, the more it annoys me... Even if it was, she certainly had a hidden agenda.Your thoughts please...Aquilan
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male
reader, Uncle Aneurism +, writes (25 January 2006):
Yes she was testing but also under the guise of fun. Your response was s test but also your reactions when you find out it was her.Your reply with "Who the hell are you and what are you doing texting my phone?!!!" was perfect. She would have felt guilty for doing it, but also happy with your perfect response.However, as for preventing her from doing stupid tests in future, if I were in your shoes, I would have said "Lucky it wasn't your ****, because I showed my mates the picture.. I guess I'll have to tell them it was you and not some silly stupid woman who entered an incorrect mobile number like we thought".
A
male
reader, malaysianfeet +, writes (25 January 2006):
Relax man. People in love do dumb things. people out of love do dumber things. You are no dumb. You are cool man. But you've had your day in court. Now settle this out of court. And get on with life. How about sending a picture of your pri*k to her the next time, just to say you were sorry to having gone aboard with this silly reaction. Now give it a wise response. Silly too, but the difference lies in the response. Place it in the past, where it belongs. After the pri*k thingy i mean. Man, I am flabbergested. You couldnt recognize her breast?? Better get yourself a bigger model. just kidding man. You are a good fella. Really are, man. By model i mean the phone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2006): It is my opinion that you would not be as "annoyed" as you are if you weren't feeling guilty about something. You may have gone the other way instead, and she might have caught you with your hands in the cookie jar. So what if she did that to you? If you had no desire to mess around with another girl, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Besides, it's natural, and only human nature, for people to test the boundaries of their relationships. From time to time, we all need affirmation--whether the means to the end is ethical or not. I hate to use a cliche', but "all is fair in love and war."
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A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (20 January 2006):
 i think that bev is more or less right , it seems a wierd thing to do , but i do think that you are overeacting a bit , to be annoyed when you got the text is one thing but to be sooo angry with your girlfriend still when you found out it was just her is a bit much she prob just got hte phone and had a 'moment' if you responded she prob was just curious as to howw you react curious as to how you respond to flirty girls when shes not around but also prob thought its something you could have a laugh about , i cant say id like to play this 'joke' on my man but i dont think its something to get angry about
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A
female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (11 January 2006):
 I responded yesterday, but my answer somehow disappeared...
Anyway, to summarize my previous response, I think that you overreacted a bit, but I'm leaning more toward Bev's answer than the other answers--that is, you didn't react the way that you did without good reason.
Just try talking to your girlfriend. Apologize for overreacting, but point out that what she did made you angry because you love her so much, would never conceive of cheating on her, and don't want anything to ever come between you.
Chances are that she loves you and does trust you, but this joke was still inappropriate, at least in your eyes. The two of you need to have a chat, give each other a big hug, try to see where each other is coming from, and don't let this come between you.
Good luck and best of wishes.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (11 January 2006):
 I'm in the minority, but I disagree with all the previous posts.
I don't think you were overreacting. It was completely unnecessary --in fact, somewhat disturbing-- for her to play a practical joke on you. A point that the other respondents seemed to have missed is, how could you have "won" in that scenario? What outcome would have made you look good? There was none!
Reacting as you did, you're a spoilsport. If you'd joined in the "fun", you'd have been branded a Cheater. If you'd done nothing, she'd have amped up the pressure to make you reply by doing something.
I don't think there was any way for you to have a positive outcome to such a stupid waste of effort and I'd have been just as annoyed as you.
For the record, I hope she doesn't waste her time on such "jokes" in future.
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (11 January 2006):
 "Ordeal"?
You call this an "ordeal"?
What about having a stillborn child?
Or being told by your doctor you have cancer?
Or seeing your parent die in front of you?
Or being tied up, raped and tortured before you entered your teens?
Those are ordeals.
My guess is your girlfriend has found out more about YOU in a bad way through this incident than you found out about her.
Ordeal!? Jeez.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006): I think you are way over-reacting. Stop being so suspicious of everything, and cut your gf some slack. She just wanted to play a fun, flirty game. Chill out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006): To be honest, i would agree with the reply above. it was probably just a joke, as you said you are 100% faithful so why would your girlfriend want to send a honey trap like that to you? however, the way you describe your reaction to this, i wouldn't be surprised if your girlfriend began to wonder if you were angry because you have something to hide. You should just talk to her and chill out, its not something to be angry about is it!?!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006): Maybe it was a honey trap and she's saying it was a joke cause now it is a joke cause you didn't respond to the text in a way that would make her think you would feed into another if she wasn't around and it was thrown in your face Yah know? Now she knows you would react like a guy with a girlfriend maybe she was testing you but hey you passed don't hold it against her everyone needs to be reassured sometimes Don't be too hard on her by the way that is funny!Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Jordan +, writes (10 January 2006):
 Look you seem real uptight n not out 2 have a good time like your other answer said IT WAS A JOKE!!! god loosen up n what if you sent her a pic of your chico stick wouldn't she go along n have fun with it man ur too uptight n over reacting at least it was ur gurl n not some total stranger.. k i dont mean 2 be harsh but yeah take a chyll pill...
Jordan
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A
female
reader, Purple Thistle +, writes (10 January 2006):
Lighten up man! Where IS your sense of fun! Why did you not recognise the "boob" as your girlfriends????? Thats what I wanna' know! Relax and enjoy.
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A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (10 January 2006):
Oh God!you sound like an uptight boring pompous man. Have you read your question? Where's your sense of fun and yes you are being very unreasomable about the whole thing. It was a J-o-k-e. Most normal, red blooded males would have entered into the fun of it and had a hoot.
She had no hidden agenda except to make you chuckle, hopefully turn you on and have some fun when you got home.
And what do you do? become sanctimonious, annoyed and suffer from a sense of humour bypass. Be grateful someone thinks yo're attractive enough to lay a honey trap.
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