A
male
age
36-40,
*lppls
writes:It was my girlfriends birthday a little over a week ago and I had some stuff come up that got in the way of getting her a gift.I told her about it and at first she was fine with it, then a few days later she brought it up and i felt terrible. I ended up ordering her something on the internet for her birthday which i was planning on getting her for Christmas. It was delayed in coming and now things have just gotten out of control. She says two weeks is too late to give her anything and she doesn't want anything and that this should never have happened.I think she is on the verge of breaking up with me( I asked her, she said she isn't sure yet). I have accepted the fault to her, told her I have no excuse and that she doesn't deserve to be treated like that. I can't apologize enough. She has given me the cold shoulder, but at least i can still get to to call me back and she was willing to express her feelings to me which is something that has not ever been present before.My question is how or what do I need to do in order for her to realize that I really mean my apologies and want this to work?As of now she is unwilling to even see me, making it impossible for me to give her my apology card and gift.A little background info. we have been on and off a few times over that last 2 years and this time around things have been going beyond great up until now.
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male
reader, hlppls +, writes (17 November 2010):
hlppls is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your input. I have flowers going out to her work tomorrow. That seems to be the consensus here.
I suppose I will post how things turn out.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Give us a bit of background info. Is this the first time that "stuff came up "?...
I don't think that your girl is miffed because she is materialistic or she really had her heart set on that Ipod or perfume or whatever it was you were gonna give her. I think that she feels hurt because you let "stuff come up "
so, unless we are really talking about an emergency, financial or otherwise,that means her birthday was not that important to you.
If something is a priority, - there is always planning and organization to carry it through : if it is a purchase, you start saving money way before, you order your item well in advance, you make time for choosing,collecting and delivering it, etc.
I am not saying that you SHOULD have done so- just that you COULD if you had really wanted to. Your not really wanting to made her feel unimportant and now she is sore.
Now, if this is the absolutely first time you make a faux pas , I agree, she needs to overcome her insecurities and graciously get over it, it's not the end of the world.
But .. I wonder if you are the kind of guy who lets often stuff come up- which brings to cancel dates, reschedule plans, forget anniversaries, not return calls and texts promptly enough....then this little incident takes a different meaning.
In any case, I subscribe what the other Aunts say : send flowers ! with a nice card. That should work.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): it sounds like her love language may be gifts. for some people, it really does hurt not getting them. u should do something unexpected and romantic for her, like texting her a short poem or sending her flowers at her work. the work idea is the best because she'll be in front of so many people that will go Awwwww at the flowers. girls like to brag. it will make her happy.
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A
female
reader, sam1512 +, writes (17 November 2010):
Well i dont think she"s goin to leave you or anything Well if she really loves you she wont leave you for that. And if she doesnt love you she's going to use it as an excuse to leave you.
But anyways she just feels hurt right now because she feels like if she werent important enough. Give her a little time im sure she was mad but i bet she's not mad any more she is just being a little too proud to just give up and forgive you she's testing you a bit to see what your willing to do and too see how much you love her type of thing.
If i were you i would do simple sweet things like you say she wont see you so have flowers delivered to her work or home just randomly and write on the note just hope you have a nice day. simple things like that will soften her up trust me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): She's is over acting a tad bit. Hun I'm not saying to move on but why don't you just get a new girlfriend one that won't treat you like a toy like a slave driver. And i don't know exactly what to tell you about that one sorry and good luck:]
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A
female
reader, Viv Acious  +, writes (17 November 2010):
I know your question is what I can I do to make her realise you are sincere in your apologies - I just feel the urge to say- God, she is milking this.... however, that wasn't your question...just a gut reaction.
So, she is talking to you but refusing to see you. I think aunt honesty is right - send her beautiful flowers with a note apologising.
The best of luck.
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A
female
reader, cheekyfriday  +, writes (17 November 2010):
Interesting.
I hope you work this out, as she isn't speaking to you.
Appology card was a great idea, I really hope you get to give it to her. What if you send it with some flowers. If you can't afford them to be delivered, deliver them yourself to her doorstep.
Suck up suck up suck up. You got to go out of your way. And plan in advance. Even something little like a card doesn't take too long to make if you did not get time to buy one.
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A
male
reader, doom  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 i think she is a bit over reactingù....come on it's not for the present that we chear for , but for our bf beeing near...ok she could have been mad, but you expained the situation,.On the other hand you could have buy her floers and chocolate and sad i'm sry i bought you a present but the post -office doesn't know where is the present...and would have done something romantic for her, like a compensation...but you didn't do nothing...
And as "aunt honesty wrote" she won't break with you for this, but when you do get the present!!! do something romantic, and then everything will egt to order:) trust me:)
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Ok so it can hurt a girl when there boyfriend doesnt buy them a gift, but its not like you completely forgot it was her birthday and you did explain you had other stuff to deal with so she is atually taking this whole gift thing a bit to far.
however i also no that you love her and hate seeing her hurt, but i bet she knows this as well and she is using it to her advantage, she is just sulking right now because she didnt get a gift, i seriously doubt she will break up with you, she is just making you suffer for a bit, and erm if she doesn break up with you then wow its a lucky escape because that would be really petty.
Ok so here is an idea, she doesnt want to see you so you cant give her the gift you bought her but why dont you send flowers to her home address, get a delievry man to do it and maybe add a note with a little poem in it about how you feel and how much you love her, even extreme girls can be a sucker for flowers so why dont you give that a try and hopefully she will come to her sences and forgive you.
Goodluck.
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