A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I separated 3 years ago when our son was 2. She was caught cheating and I left our home. Almost a year ago I met a woman who took my breath away. She was in the process of divorce and we became best friends. 4 months later our relationship went to a new level and I have been in love with her now for 9 months. Once my wife found out about me and my new love she started feeling jealous and holding our son over my head. I was living with my girlfriend until October of 2010 when my wife forced me to move back home or not see my son. I can not live with out him. But I can not live without my love either. I want to leave and get divorced but I can not get custody of my son because of what I did as a teen. The woman I'm in love with loves me and makes me feel like a king, she is waiting on me to make a decision and the only reason I am in my marital home is for my son. I just do not know what to do or how to do it. Please can someone give me advice?
View related questions:
best friend, divorce, jealous, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): This time, get a LEGAL separation agreement that includes joint custody,child support and visitation. I honestly don't understand why you didn't start divorce proceedings three years ago or the minute you started to fall for another woman, but I suppose that's neither here nor there. The bottom line is that you failed to handle your business and now you're stuck in a messed up situation. Man up, quit using your past as an excuse and start taking the legal action necessary to end your marriage.
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (22 February 2011):
I'm not a lawyer but FloridaCatGirl is right. You should be able to get shared custody after a proper divorce. Of course it will be painful and will take some time, but you can't be hostage of your wife.
...............................
A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (21 February 2011):
 I find it hard to believe that you would be unable to share custody of your son, or obtain visitation rights if you divorced your wife.
I will assume you have some sort of police record stemming from your teenage years. Is this correct? Since you have posted your question anonymously, would you mind telling us what it is? Have you spoken with a lawyer about custody or visitation rights and how your “teenage trouble” would affect the outcome?
...............................
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (21 February 2011):
 "we became best friends." Congratulations! Nothin like being in love with your best friend is there?
"she is waiting on me to make a decision" don't make your best friend wait any longer. Go to a divorce lawyer. If money's an issue contact "legal aid" in your city or state. I do not know or want to know why you can't have custody of your son but there is legal "middle ground". I would also start documenting everything that is happening in the marital home but I would not let your wife know you are doing this as it may be used in legal proceedings and she would destroy the documentation. I wish you well.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 February 2011):
I would STRONGLY urge you to speak to a lawyer about where you stand with the law. Even if you can't get custody (not sure about that), you should be able to get visitation rights since you were allowed to be a father in the first place! Get a lawyer.
Also, get some recordings of your wife threatening to hold your son over your head. Recordings tend to go very nicely with judges/law etc.
...............................
|
