A
male
age
41-50,
*79
writes:I am looking for what to do? My wife of 5 years left me, for my best friend. She also left me with our two kids. She says that i don't make her happy anymore. I love her so much that i don't know how to take it. I had to quit my job to take care of my kids. She says she can't handle them. I have filed for a big D not that i want that to happen but i can't wait for her to come back. I love her so much and would take her back in a heart beat. She says that he is her soul mate but i just don't believe that. I find i hard to go through days with out her i don't know if i should go through with the big D or if i should wait for her to come back. She say she depressed that she loves me because of the kids but not in love with me. I just want to know what i should do????
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male
reader, EasyEK  +, writes (2 September 2008):
My sincere empathy for what you are going through. It must be difficult but as man, you need to approach it with some composure. Since she has already made a decision to leave after the cheating with your friend, then I guess there is little you can do. I think you need to focus on regaining the real 'you' so that you can be able to move on with your life without her. Since she has also left the kids with you, i'd think if I were you, that it would be easier to move on with her.
A
male
reader, s79 +, writes (2 September 2008):
s79 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes my life is messed up. I more than likely think diferent if it happen to someone else but she is every thing i wanted in life. I do now i have to try to move on. I just don't know how to. I don't know if it's so much about me but my 2 kids don't under stand where mom is. Is it my falt? What should i tell them. I do love her very much and would do JUST abuot any thing to get her back. but theres going to be alot of trust to be one back i do understand that. I am lonely confused on what to do, or to feel. Alot of my friends where both of are friends have not tryed to talk to to many people that i am closed to.
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A
male
reader, s79 +, writes (1 September 2008):
s79 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the respondes frist i do love her very much but i have filled for a divorce. I have tryed to talk to her we are talking better know then when we were to gather. She doesn't know where i went wrong. I was a over the road truck driver so i had to quit my jod i would be out for 7 to 10 days at a time. No that was not the problem because that is what he does to we worked for the same company. I did know they were close but they were realy good friends along time before i knew either on of them. He has been good friends with her family for a long time. I look back and can see that i shuold have picked up on stuff earlyer but i didn't. Now i am kicking my in the butt. I am trying to let her go but it is tuff my boy is 3 and wants his mom at night that makes it harder don't know what to tell him. I let her have them when ever she wants them most of the time is for just 45 min. at a time. Her mom & dad our on my side they can't belive that she would do some thing like this. They said they would support me for custdy when it comes to the kids. Does any one know about how long it takes to move on?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): It may not be that you miss HER, but rather miss your life. You just lost everyone close to you and you can't even to your best friend for comfort. Think about the TYPE of woman who does this kind of thing, what would you think of her if she wasn't YOUR wife? You wouldn't think very highly of her and if you met her, because of what you knew, you would probably turn the other way if she were interested in you.
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A
female
reader, auddi  +, writes (1 September 2008):
Hi,
I am so sorry to hear this. What you could do is..maybe try to talk to her, discuss things properly. Tell her at least for the sake of the kids not to leave the family like that..
It is very touching to know you love her so much. Maybe there is something more to all this. You could talk and try to know what is really the matter for this decision. Aks her if you have made any mistake and apologize for it whole-heartedly. You never noticed that your friend and she were close enough for this to happen?
Anyway, try talking to her. Keep your children in daycare and go for work. Don't leave your job for the kids..u need to earn money for them.
If summoning her back does not work at all, set her free. Move on. Maybe you are destined for someone better than her..
Take care,
My sympathies,
Auddi
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A
female
reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 I'm really sorry this happened to you. I think you can't do much, because it was her decison and she's free enough to be with anyone she wants.
Obviously your marriage wasn't happy enough to be worth to stay in it. She felt that, you may not. I think it's foolish to stay in relationship, which doesn't make you (or her) happy. You have to ask yourself question if you really want to be with someone who doesn't love you as much as you love her? Is it worth enough? Don't you think you deserve more? You need a person who wants to be with you and take care of your kids.
Stand on your feet, she's not point of your life. You'll find somebody who's appropriate and faithful to you. I know it's painful, specially because she cheated on you with your good friend, but you have to forget that!
I'm sorry because you have kids together, this only makes situation more complicated.
You have to take care of your kids and she has to give you money too. Go to the lawyer, he will told you what you need to do. I think it's time to start thinking about divorce. Talk with her about that. Also I think you have to take one hour a day for yourself, to clean up your mind,.. go for the walk, read good book, talk with your friends, go to the beer.. anything you want. This process of forgeting (and forgiveness!) could be long and hurtful, but i think it would be good start if you ask yourself questions above and answer honestly.
I wish you all the best.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (1 September 2008):
 YOu need to be strong and get a grip.
You are a man, and men do not want women who leave them.
Let her go.
If you take her back she will only treat you like dirt and disrespect you. Do you really want that? for yourself and for your kids? I know you are hurting right now but having her back will not take the pain away.
Besides..how can you trust her again? And with your best friend to? Wow! They both betrayed you.
So what you need to do is slowly get your life together.
The best revenge is to show them that you don't need either one of them. Be strong even when you feel weak.
Build up your self-esteem and confidence and focus on your kids. If you have the kids, file for child-support from her. Get some money from her since you have custody.
Whatever you do, don't take her back. If you loved and respected yourself you would not want a women that does not love you.
You deserve to find someone who will treat you right.
You will love and support you and be there for you.
Let her go and time will heal your broken heart.
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