A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi All,I have been married for last Two and a Half years. We have known each other for about eight months before marriage. In those eight months we talked on phone and dated. Since the time we got married, my wife kept nagging about small things even as small as buying daily groceries and like. I have tried to calm her down everytime. Just a month down the marriage, she created a fuss around buying a piece of electronic which I promised I will buy her and she said she wanted it right then and went ahead and asked for loaning some money from a person who was staying as a tenant in her parent's house. Everytime after this, she would pick up fights on small things. She chose to be a house wife since the very beginning and even after that, she would often refuse to do the regular house hold work. I even offered her to hire a household help, to which she would always fight with me. The first time we had a major tussle was just 6 months after the marriage. At this point of time, she was with her parents and refused to come back. These kind of instances usually cropped up only once she would talk to her mom. I remember of a time when we went for a movie and there she called her mom and right when she kept the phone down, she started arguing that we would watch the other movie and not the one for which we have already bought the tickets(which again was by her choice). She fought fiercefully in whole public view for no reason. Every three months or so here on we had major quarrels on apparantly no reasons and she would just run away to her parents home and would always start threatning for a divorce. This was when we were away from my parents. Upon her insistance we moved to my parents place and there she started insulting my parents too and allegated them time and again for misunderstandings between us. She motivated me to move out of my parents house after creating an altercation between me and my parents. We moved out and she wanted me to stay in her parents house till we bought a house of our own, which was about a month away because of bank formalities. And right after first week of our moving out of my parents house, she started picking up fights with me and a month down the line, she told me that she wants a divorce and I should just leave rightaway. I move out of her parents house immediately as she pulled her mom in and both started getting abusive. That was just a week ago. Three days ago, I came to know through one of her relatives that she and her mom wanted this and were planning for this day for a long time, even before the marriage and they had planned for long to get her married to the guy who was staying tenant in her parent's house. My wife's mom has even got that guy divorced from his wife for the same reason. The day when I move out from her parents house, she along with her mom and that guy went out for a holiday and I was totally unaware of this. In every term, be it career wise or financially or personality wise that person has no grounds when compared to me. I came to know a few days ago that he has been contributing money too in their house. I am totally devasted by this. Is there anything left in our relationship that is worth making an effort for or should I just concede to her demand for divorce?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 Hi Hunny
Im so sorry to here of your pain, You need to move on away from this situation sweetheart and hopefully heal from all this upset and find someone who will be there for you and love and care for you as you would for them..You deserve much more than this, You have tryed your very best..I do hope you find happiness soon WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, growing +, writes (25 May 2008):
 I know indians think 1000's of time before seeking a divorce but then you must have already done that,i think you have no other opiton left.she has ruined your life but you still have time to fix it by throwing her out of it.
what else can i say?
I am so sorry that you are going through all this!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 Poster, my answer to your question is NO, there's nothing left in your relationship worth making an effort. You should just concede to her demand for divorce.
What you describe here is a series of difficult problems, one after another. An emotional rollercoaster that won't end. There's no pleasing your wife. She likes to embarrass you in public. A woman who is always asking for divorce, and who lets her mother decide for her. I would run for the hills.
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