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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: my mother and wife keep arguing. my wife and i are 21 and my mom is 47 and i think they are both to old to be fighting the way that they do. they scream and yell at each other all the time. sometimes my mother brings my wife to tears when they fight. my wife will argue my mother until she is tired and my mother will argue my wife until she is red in the face. they argue over just about everything and after every argument i end up having to calm my wife down a whole lot. how do i stop them from fighting over everything? a couple of times my wife got sick. after some of the fights she would be bent over the toilet vomiting Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shnookims  +, writes (20 January 2009):
 I would sit them down together and tell them that they need to both make an effort, for your sake, to at least be civilised and respectful towards each other.Even if it's one last big fight to make sure all the feelings are on the table. Though you have to be careful that nothing will be said that'll destroy your relationship with your mother or gf.
I couldn't stand my bf's family. They're so inconsiderate. But out of repsect I never voiced what I felt. One day it got too much and I did. It was a pretty bad fight but almost all the issues were resolved. They're still inconsiderate but at the same time they do respect me. They might not like me and I'm not really that keen on them but there is just an unspoken truce for my bf's sake.
I'm sure your mother and gf love you enough to do this for you. By resolving what the real issues are in one discussion, it'll probably mean a lot less fighting and a lot less upsets for you, your gf and your mother.
A
female
reader, MommyOfOne  +, writes (20 January 2009):
 Support your wife. Most people forget to support their spouse when this happens...
I would tell your mom that she needs to knock it off. She is your wife. Your family now. Explain to her that you understand that for her, its hard for her to see her "little boy" married off to another woman. But that's your a grown man now. That you love your wife and that she isn't going anywhere. And all her actions are doing, is causing problems...
Have this talk with your mom. Then Keep them apart for awhile. But stand behind your wife during that period.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (20 January 2009):
 This is actually quite common for wives and mothers to not get along. The mother is threatened that she is taking her son away so she criticizes. The wife is threatened that the mother is taking away her rights as a wife to you and her ability to do things she sees as right. But this sounds as if it has gone far enough. The truth is they dont have to like each other as long as they both love you. So either they both try and talk out their differences and just co-exist, or they cant be around each other except on special occasions. I'm guessing they live in the same house, if thats true then you guys gotta get out and away. When you do the tension might not be so bad between the two of them.
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A
male
reader, Demon_2004 +, writes (20 January 2009):
 I would say that you have a problem. My question to you would be do you take a side or let the fireworks happen and then console the both of them afterwards. Does your mom live with you.
I would recomend that you try to head the fight off before it starts. Your mom needs to understand that you love your wife and she is your world. Have you thought that your mom may not want you to be with her and that is why she is causing problems
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009): you need to talk to your wife and tell her thats very immature and its your mother shes going to have her thoughts and she doesnt need to yell kick and scream to get her way she needs to calm down and take it. she needs to stop the yelling and just when your mother says something just to lightly nod her head and just forget it your wife is 21yrs old and she really needs to grow up. as for your mom you need to sit down and talk with her and explain to her if she really loves you she wouldnt be putting you in this situation with your wife its your wife and she needs to grow up to and forget about the negatives. they both need to act like adults.
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