A
female
age
30-35,
*non Girl x
writes: I KNOW ITS KIND OF LONG BUT PLEASE I NEED ANSWERS. Ok well i get along great with my maths teacher. hes funny, easygoing and a great teacher! We always have a laugh in class as well as getting the work done, but one day some of my friends started saying that he fancys me and wants me. i just laughed it off saying that hes the same with me than he is with every student. But the more i think about it the more i wonder. hes always really nice to me like really nice!? he lets me away with not doing homework and stuff but if it is anyone else he will go crazy and give them detention or something. after they said this to me i noticed that he always stares and me and when i catch him he will turn away quickly and sometimes he will stare right into my eyes and smile and i quickly break it. He always stops me in the hallways to have a conversation and then finds a way to touch me, he always touches my hands or shoulders. One day when he asked me to put my chewing gum in the bin and when i was walking back to my seat i had to walk by the board to go back and i was trying to squeeze through and he like grinded up against my a$$. he always lets me text in class, he would catch me and say ''Hey missy put that away'' or else ''Is the boy your texting really more important than my class?'' but if it was someone else he would take it straight off them. My friend was talking about a young hot male teacher in our school and i said yeah i think hes cute and he looked extremely jealous and wouldn't talk to me for the whole lesson. At the end of the lesson he told me to stay back after class so i did and he was asking me what i liked about the other teacher and then when i was about to leave the classroom he kissed me. I was caught by surprise and i quickly pulled away and just walked out, this happened a week ago and i have skipped his class ever since, im not going to tell anyone about what happened. i really like him as my teacher but i can't help feeling that i've done something to incourage this? before you say i'm a wh0re or i dress like a slu* , my school has a uniform and i have a boyfriend who i'm faithful to! Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? if so how did you deal with it ? And i do not find this teacher attractive in any way!(oh and i am 17 and he is 28)
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (26 April 2011):
Oh and one more thing: YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. This is NOT your fault. It's his! Just adding that in hopes you won't blame yourself for something you didn't do.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (26 April 2011):
if he thinks you led him on he's stupid as well as being completely out of line. He's abusing his position as a teacher and don't for a minute think he doesn't know full well what he's doing. You're the innocent one here, not him. You are also the one with the most power, if you aren't afraid to use it.
What I would do is to ask trusted classmates to observe him while he's around you, so that if you do talk to another teacher/headmaster you have witnesses who can support your story. Also talk to your parents about it. If you have guts, collect all the courage you have during break (not after class!) and talk to him about it. Tell him you do not like the way he behaves around you and that he should know better being atleast 10 years older than you. Tell him that if he doesn't stop that you are going to report him.
Honey, I know you don't want to cause trouble for him, but the truth is that he forced you in that position. Stand strong and be the adult he obviously still isn't.
As for if it ever happened to me, it actually happened last year. This was at college so I was an adult, but still...he had atleast 15 years on me. He had weird requests, like asking if I could deliver my paper at his home so he could discuss it with me. (I mailed it and told him to discuss it at school). He also tried to ask me and a classmate of mine out. She took the bait, I didn't. She ended up sleeping with him after he got her drunk. She later told me she couldn't even remember if they'd used protection, which is nothing like her. Anyway, I contacted him and told him I wanted no part in this but that if he ever approached another classmate of mine that I would report him and that I was actually thinking of doing that right now. That scared him enough to leave the school a few weeks later.
So you see, taking action is the best thing you can do as hard as it may seem.
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A
female
reader, lonelygirl11 +, writes (26 April 2011):
Report him to another teacher or your parents or someone you trust. You did not lead him on. Anyway He is meant to be able to resist a student he is a teacher and he kissed you so it will be his fault if he loses everything not yours you did absoulty nothing wrong he is the one in the wrong hope this helps
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 April 2011):
You don't want him to lose everything over behavior that is wrong and inappropriate?
He is in a position of authority and using that against you.
HE DESERVES to lose EVERYTHING.
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A
female
reader, Anon Girl x +, writes (26 April 2011):
Anon Girl x is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone who answered, i really don't want to report him as i don't want him to lose everything over me. maybe he thinks i led him on? ill keep all your answers in mind x
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 April 2011):
you did nothing wrong but you HAVE TO TELL.... tell mom and dad or a trusted adult friend
HE DID A BAD THING... he is wrong.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (26 April 2011):
Urgh what a disguisting man!!
I know you may be nervous but you really need to tell the head or some other teacher you may be close to than others.
Imagine how grossed out you feel, and imagine other girls feeling like that. You dont know if he may be doing the same with younger girls, and doing even more than a quick kiss.
Its your responsibility to report him and protect other girls against his actions.
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A
female
reader, funkymonkey123 +, writes (26 April 2011):
it is wrong but maybe you could talk to him about it first ask him why he did it and find out all the information then go see the headmaster or a parent. have you a student guidence in your school ?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): Tell your parents! This isn't normal
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (26 April 2011):
Go and tell the headmaster. This guy is a pervert and shouldn't be teaching young girls. What would your parents say? Proper teachers don't act like this. This man is a sick creep, he gets excited by groping young girls who don't have enough sense to know that there is something wrong with him.
Your 17, you'll leave school soon and he'll probably start trying to have sex with a 15year old.
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A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (26 April 2011):
Perhaps you should be going to your folks or to the school administration. This teacher is breaking several laws.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (26 April 2011):
He should be taken away. He had no right to touch you like that and his behavior is extremely inappropriate. You are letting this happen though, you are letting him get away with this sort of thing and that is unacceptable. It doesn't matter how much you like him as a teacher, that kind of thing is extremely disgusting, morally and professionally. Tell the proper teachers, tell your parents. He may be a fun teacher but there are boundaries set in institutions for this exact purpose, he is abusing his power over you as a teacher.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie +, writes (26 April 2011):
You haven't done anything wrong. But he most definitely has! You must tell your parents, and they can contact the school. This is very serious, and must be dealt with immediately. Just avoiding his classes isn't enough. So be brave, and go straight to your parents, they will take the next step. If you were my daughter, that is exactly what I would want you to do. Good luck with it all xx
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