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My relationship just ended but I don't care..?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 March 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 11 March 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My relationship of 2 months just ended about an hour ago. For some reason I am not at all upset. I don't know what to make of this. I was trying to make it work up until he decided it just wouldn't, but it was more because I was scared of being alone. Then we got off the phone and I was okay..? How am I not upset about this? Did I just not care? Were we too incompatible for me to care? He did frustrate the hell out of me and I don't know that I even like him as a person to be honest. I'm not complaining that I'm ok, it just has never happened to me before! I am always devastated. I'm scared perhaps it hasn't hit me yet? Like in a couple days I will fall apart. I guess knowing it is better off without him and I will be happier makes it easier to get over...? I'm just so confused because usually I can't handle being alone and that alone would make me upset. Anyone been in a similar situation, always cared so much and then for some reason you aren't upset at all? Do I not have feelings anymore??? We literally had sex last night. And yet I'm fine today without him?

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A female reader, kayla20 United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2010):

kayla20 agony aunttwo months isnt a long time to be with someone and maybe you didnt even love him so the whole loosing him thing wasnt a big issue as you could see yourself living without him if you know what i mean.when a couple split up people will usually get upset because they have lost the routine they were in and that they were comfortable with rather than the actual person.i mean i was with my ex for 4 years we had a child together but he kept mucking around and didnt spend the time i wanted him to with me and my son just pretty much didnt make the effort at all and i thought he was cheating so i got over him whilst being with him if you know what i mean so when it came to ending the relationship i was thinking i dont want to do this and be in a state but then i realised that i wasnt going to miss him i was going to miss the fact that i wasnt in a routine where i could call him or expect to see him u no things like that so maybr this whole thing with you is that you dont really care about him you wasnt with him long enough to get into a routine and you no u mite get upset at one point but it wont be for long yourl only get upset that you are on your own but then you just have to think im young il find someone else someone i enjoy being with

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (11 March 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntYour perception of him was like that of a pesky rat and you felt relieved and happy that you got rid of this itch.

Since you just started recently with him and there was not much emotional attachments to him, you could not feel anything about it.

The break was clean and painless.

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A female reader, Carrot2000 United States +, writes (11 March 2010):

Carrot2000 agony auntYou're not upset because you are starting to realize that being alone is better than being with someone who frustrates and that you don't even like as a person.

You're growing up.

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A male reader, DeadEyeDick United States +, writes (11 March 2010):

DeadEyeDick agony auntMaybe it just hasnt hit you yet, if you cared enough to have sex with him last night(as im assuming you cant just have sex with him without carring for him)then maybe you just havent let it sink in yet? I dont know, I wish I could feel no emotion after ending a relationship, seems like even the girls I didnt care for, and didnt know if I liked as people, I still felt some sort of sadness, even if it was a little?

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A female reader, sunnycomet Canada +, writes (11 March 2010):

sunnycomet agony auntThis is a good thing. Don't be upset....you didn't want him and why should you cry over someone you didn't even like? Don't be afraid of being alone. Be happy because it's over and you can relax. Hang with your friends and have fun. You should celebrate too!

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