A
female
age
41-50,
*ariad
writes:My partner wants us to have sex with other people. I like the idea for myself, but my skin crawls at the thought of him doing it. It scares me he won't come back and I would not be able to contain my jealosy. I know this is selfish, but has anyone over-come this? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jason means Healer +, writes (23 March 2009):
Yes.Jealousy burns like a bush fire.What? I ask myself is the process whereby it is put out?Well, firstly; there's more to sex than your relationship.You've got him, haven't you, not them?Of course, there is always the risk that either of you will come across someone you prefer having sex with.But sex is like the midas touch. If you allow yourself to be consumed with greed for ever better and better sex you will end up as cold as gold.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): Hi
Your choice....
Works for some and not for others, depends if your prepared to maybe loose? are you prepared for this POSSIBILITY?
lOVE may steal one of you away...jealousy may eat one of you up....or you may both love each other more...WHO KNOWS........ WHEN YOU PLAY RUSSIAN RULETTE?
One day the blank may be real!
are you brave enough to take the gamble? Thats if YOU BOTH DO LOVE EACH OTHER...no GAMBLE if love is not at stake.
I knew a guy who loved sharing his wife...showing pictures of her to his freinds etc...and when they enjoyed looking...the guy would smash his phones in jelousy ???? He still played in his CONFLICT...he ended up in prison for GBH a jealous rage on his wife.
However i also know couples who have a great time and keep it as fun....and their relationship is enhanced and as loving as ever.
yours & his choice! you win some! you loose some!
via con dios.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): "Swinging", wife-swapping, open relationships, polyamory, "arrangements"... there is nothing intrinsically wrong with any of it - but tread VERY VERY VERY carefully. This kind of thing takes balls of steal, an absolute unwavering trust of your partner, bucketloads of maturity, humour and a thick skin.
If your relationship with this guy is less than pretty much 100%, or if you are not prepared to do a lot of soul-searching, learning and compromising, then you are asking for trouble. If you are not comfortable, don't do it. If he makes you, leave him. If you like the idea of sleeping with other people but not the other way round, that's called a double standard.
Personally, I would say to avoid this like the plague!
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A
female
reader, Ravenxx91 +, writes (22 March 2009):
 The fact you have this jealousy should give you warning signs that it can damage or potentially be fatal to your relationship.
I think you should also be worried as to why he wants to do this.
You need to talk to him more and be clear of the reasons adn how long it would go on for and how often as well as how often you both would be alone as a couple.
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A
female
reader, ErinPatterson  +, writes (22 March 2009):
 He wants you guys to swing or he wants you to have an open relationship?
If you think it is ok for yourself to date and not him well that is not fair.
If it is about just sex then it is understandable that you would be jealous and I wouldnt suggest experimenting. I think people who do have open relationships are "unique" and have they ability to experiment and at they end of the day still just love each other but not many people can seperate those things..I wouldnt be able to.I say let it go..if there are jealousy issues and he doesnt understand that well maybe its best you move on.
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