A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello there Dear Cupid's....I'm 40 have been divorced for 11 years, have had a few relationships since but nothing I consider special. My children are now late teens, so I'm pretty much a free agent. Well...about 6 months ago a new neighbour moved in...and well he's drop dead gorgeous, fabulous with his kids and I can't keep my eyes off him, by the way he's single. It's got so bad when I see him I tingle all over and can't even speak. I nearly ran him over a few weeks ago as my foot got stuck on the accelerator when I saw him. What should I do? My friend reckons I should ask him out....I'm not normally shy but in this case I feel like a quivering mess lol...I think that a guy should make the first move. Any help well appreciated.
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divorce, moved in, neighbour, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (7 October 2008):
 This thread is coinciding with another here...and it's quite funny.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/question-for-the-guys---does-a.html
BigSis
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (7 October 2008):
 Actually the words are part of a song Diovan *Smiles. It's called Fill My Cup Lord and my quote wasn't made in referrence to sex. You see when one is seeking to have fullfillment in their lives(she obviously is seeking a companion or mate)afer being divorced for 11 years. She is very attracted to this man. We don't always look beyond our needs but God knows our heart and he can fill our lives wtih Joy in many ways. EX: Her Children ( They are a gift from God.
At this point she desires the man. He is handsome and she is interested to some great extent in the physical realm. There is nothing wrong with that, so she would like to persue him but her beliefs are to the contrary. She thinks the man should make the first move. As my suggestion of baking a cake, pie or other dish and simply knocking on the door with simple greetings, should be acceptable. This kind of thing happens in communities everywhere.
The Fill My Cup phrase was meaning that while she relies upon God to fullfill her need (that of a companion) "In My Time Not Thine." Thus sayeth The Lord. It will happen when the right time comes. Welcoming him to the neighborhood can open a door.
The song was talking about a woman at the well...She heard the Saviour speaking.."Draw from the well that never runs dry. Fill my cup Lord is what she replied. Fill my cup and make me whole. Her needs were different but whatever your need in life is, his Love is there for you when you draw from the well of living waters,your needs are filled.
Not everything we want in life is meant to be. Who knows what is in store for each of us? I do hope that the lady is encouraged to at least seek friendship. If things are meant to go further then may God's will be done. (Life is sometimes seen best thru the eyes of a child (hint) many people are natually drawn to children. This means that children often see what we don't. They have no real concept of danger however alot of times they can tell more about a possible prospect than we can. Some people love children and will go to any measure to give nurturing and loving care, befriending a child long before an adult. Just be cautious enough to make sure the chld is always protected against any harms or danger.
I hope this will clarify my attempt to give this nice lady options as to how to meet and greet the handsome man. I do hope it also shows my intent was not in reference to anything sexual. It simply means that She wants the Cup Filled..her life fullfilled and she is possibly well on her wa. However she wants him to make the first move!
Thanks Diovan for bringing this to my attention.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
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A
female
reader, SpeedyCakey  +, writes (6 October 2008):
 Well, okay, so he's a megahottie. But is he nice to you? Kind? THOSE are the things you gotta look out for. Before asking him out, become his friend first. 'Cause a relationship without a friendship as a foundation isn't all that steady (in my opinion).
Since he's your neighbor, do stuff for him like mow his lawn or shovel his driveway (instead of killing him on yours XD).
Don't just ask him out, 'cause it'll be a huge OUCH if he says "no".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): hiya im 16
what i thing you should do is arsk him out and see
so he might feel to same to
so i say give it a go and get in there girl
lol
from
Candice
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Ah sis, she wasn't gonna damage him, she was just gonna make him a little immobile... They're difficult to catch these nice men, she's got to use every weapon at her disposal, men can be so blind sometimes..
PS: Dear caller, please stay within the rules for your country. If you can't get him by fair means, you are not allowed to play foul..
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (6 October 2008):
Not if it's a classic car, Sis, they're few and far between - not to mention expensive....I like the party thing though, that's a great idea.
Lestat! Be'ave gurl! You're hormone's are gettin' the better of you again. Pfft!
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Indeed Askoldersis, I'm not good at this trying to tell a man you like him, but trying to run him down with the car is very discrete. He would have no idea you liked him, and if you had managed to knock him over you could play patient and nurse... A good piece of advice, men love life and are very hard to knock down... The party thing is great, but maybe expensive... Maybe you could try to take the same tack.. bandage your ankle or get a sickness then maybe he could take care of you... You are brilliant, my I give my commendations. I love a strong woman who knows what she wants in life and is willing to put herself on the line to get it.... Trying to run him down in a car..lol.. That is a bloody classic.. :^)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Blue Angel, it's unfortunately that you quoted those special words from the bible. The bible was my first introducing to sex, (all that begetting) and those words you wrote can be twisted in very interesting ways. I don't think they're suitable for this lady who has not even been out on a date yet..
No matter, surely the sexual imagery was all mine! Dear Caller, quivering mess, hormones on overdrive. The guy is good with kids and looks clean and polite. No problem, 21st century rules. You like him, his not married or homosexual.. Approach him and ask him to go for coffee, or pictures or park, just to save your pride if he chooses to say no. 21st century rules, women can ask too, but like men in the past, they might suffer rejection.. But if you don't ask you'll never know... GO FOR IT, but be discrete... Rejection hurts...
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (6 October 2008):
WTF?!
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (5 October 2008):
Well if you believe that the man should make the first move then he is an alternative. Bake him a cake, pie or a special dish, knock on his door and WELCOME him to the neighborhood. Hopefully he will invite you in or at least start up a conversation. See if he will make the first move toward you.
If he doesn't, watch him for signs of interest. He might smile alot or perhaps notice you walking down the street. You might even meet up in a local grocery or department store. Whereever you may be, smile slighty and say hello. Don't look to eager but be cordial. Give him a chance to notice you. Hopefully he will notice and pursue with conversation. Just take your time cause he might be one of those guys who is a bit macho, or even shy. I am sure that if he is interested he will soon let you know.
Friendship is a wonderful thing. So is being a good neighbor. Don't stalk, just get noticed and let him do the rest. If he appears to be interested but won't step up, again take your time and let it happen naturally. Remember this also, life is sometimes seen best thru the eyes of a child. Take the hint! Many people are naturally drawn to children.
"Fill my cup Lord.Lift me up Lord. Come quinch the thirsting of my soul. Bread of Heaven Feed me til I want no more. Fill my cup,
fill it up and make me whole."
God bless,
Blue_Angel
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (5 October 2008):
Ha ha, Penguin, Love it! Great answer!Ms Anonymous from France,Just walk over to him one day, say hello and strike up a conversation with him, show confidence, I would. Get in there before someone else does, or you'll end up kicking yourself so hard you'll cry.A similar thing happened to me a couple of months back, this guy moved in to the house directly opposite me...and like your guy, he was well fit. {still is} I only ever saw him with a small child, putting him in the car going out shopping, or just watching him while he played out front, there was always an elderly lady in and out of the house too - I found out it was his mother. So I guessed he was single. He often would go out of his way to look over and say hello, I used to feel that same thing you do. I did go over and talk to him, only to find out that his wife worked odd shifts and I'd never noticed her. Damn!! He's very flirty with me still, but that's as far as it goes, I'm afraid. I refuse to pursue it.But in your case, your guy is single...so get yourself over there and do something about it. Don't let this opportunity pass you by.Good luck hon!BigSisxXx
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A
male
reader, quarky +, writes (5 October 2008):
 I think you should ask him out before you kill him with your car lol!!Seriously tho'-not all guys will make the first move-I know I usually don't! Have you had ny signs that he's interested in you at all? Eye contact, a smile etc? Maybe take baby steps, find out more about him, ask to borrow something in a neighbourly way, ask him round for a chat-see if there's any spark...otherwise, throw caution to the wind and go for it-risky, but at least you'll know- nd you never know-maybe he's just waiting for you to make a move-but maybe not-you won't know if you don't try!It's a great having those feelings for someone tho' makes you feel alive eh!? All the best-hope it works out!!
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A
female
reader, penguin64 +, writes (5 October 2008):
 wow wouldnt it of been cool if u did run him over but not badly then nursed him back to health ;) dont go tryin to run him over though mind....
just pretend to be really confident!!just ask him out what have you got to lose. if he pisses you off then get your foot caught in the accelerator again lol....
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