A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i cant decide between two guys!one is 3 years older than me, a complete sweetheart, my potential soul mate BUT THERE ARE NO BUTTERFLIES!!! he has just appeared in my life after transferring up from down south. we went on this amazing spontaneous "date" which ended in us finding ourself sitting on a dock in the middle of a lake at 2 a.m. stargazing and talking about life while ducks quacked in the background...the other is my age, a couple sweetheart, super hot, but i don't know enough about him! we have never hung out but he has expressed interested in doing so. AND THERE ARE BUTTERFLIES!!! and they have been there for the year and a half in which we have been acquaintances.they are both interested in me. i would casually date both of them until i figured out what i want, but one is a brother in a fraternity and the other is a good friend of one of the brothers. thus, they are always at the same places at the same times... while i am there, too! there was a rough incident where i was flirting with butterflyboy and the sweetheart thought we were making out... i ended up feeling bad later that evening and the sweetie still took care of me after bb left! stroking my hair, cuddling...even though he had thought i had hooked up with the other guy!my two questions are these:do you believe butterflies can develop? or do you either have them or you don't?secondly, who would you date??thanks.
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female
reader, ldg99 +, writes (29 May 2010):
 I would date the first guy.You actually know him and you said yourself that he was your soul mate. But, in actuality, its your choice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): go with your first one, your soulmate, once u loose him.. you will never get him back. and the second guy, probably just wants to fuck you. I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT, MY AND MY G/F BEEN TOGATHER FOR 4 YEARS and she was in the same situation as you.. she was having struggles choosing between me and the other guy, after 4 years (few months ago) left me for the younger guy, so we ended it , 1 month later she came back to me after i went no contact, realising that she couldnt go a day without being with me or talking to me, and obviously i felt the same way, it was the hardest month of my fuckin life.
For we couldnt live together, and we couldntt live apart,
It's the classical dilemma between the head and the heart..Go with your heart.
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A
female
reader, penguin64  +, writes (5 October 2008):
 i would deff date the first one! if u dont want him send him my way ;) lol na but seriously. you dont have to have butterflies. i never get them. but i used to worry so much about the fact that i didnt. i used to when i was younger. i got them over this boy but we only went out for a week! i think i got them cos i didnt know him! butterflies can prob develop i reckon. i think id only get them if someone randomly did something like ran up to me and picked me up and swung me around! my mum said to me when i had this worry that sometimes it can be just a rush of feelings not butterflies.its prob the thrill of not knowing. x
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