A
female
age
30-35,
*niexx
writes:ever since i remember, my mother was in charge of everything. i'm also the youngest one, so i know she's trying to protect me and doesnt want me to get hurt. but that's the problem. i'm 20 and i have a boyfriend for three years now. she knows him from the start, and she still didnt get used to him being around. she's too protective and because of her, me and my boyfriend argue a lot. we almost broke up a few times because of that. she controls me too much and i dont know how to stop it. can you please help me? i really love this boy and dont want to break up with him, just because of my mother. please help...
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female
reader, mistakentragedy  +, writes (17 October 2009):
 You just need to stand up to your mom and tell her that she can't live your life for you. You are your own person and need to let her know that she can't control you any longer. Her hold broke on you when you grew up.
A
female
reader, Accountable  +, writes (17 October 2009):
 Its a difficult situation. From your mothers perspective, your older siblings have long since moved on from her and she may feel that you're the last one she has left, so her natural instinct is to keep you close - your boyfriend is an obvious threat to that.
But you are 20 years old, and as such need to be able to function without your mother, and lead an independant life. I would talk to her - tell her that she'll always be your mother and that you'll always look to her for advice and will be by no means out of her life, but you need to start your own. Good luck :)
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (17 October 2009):
 You must tell your mother to bugger-off and leave your love-life to yourself.
You alone are in charge of your heart. Inasmuch as your boyfriend and your mother love the same person (YOU), it is YOU who loves them both too.
Therefore, your mother has to learn to love you enough to leave your love-life out of her life.
If you let her meddle in your emotional and sexual life with your boyfriend, no man ever will be able to love you completely without the utter FEAR of being dumped or abandoned because your mother has passed judgment over him, without you being the one to tell mom to go take a leap.
Its your life. You're an adult. Your mom owes it to you to let you find the right man for YOU not HER.
And a PS for you: if you ever have kids, the same rule applies to them too (as they will interfere as well).
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 October 2009):
You have to speak to her. you are the youngest, so you're the last of her babies. She isn't ready to lose you just yet. Tell her and reassure her that you love her, but that you need your own life. Be calm when you do it.
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