A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 28, been married to my husband for the past 4 years. I found out off a very close friend last night that he'd been seeing a dominator (I can't use the word dominatrix as it wasn't another woman he'd been seeing).She said that she was driving back from picking people from his work up from a club, and had seen my husband in the red-light district with this seedy-looking guy in his 30's, dressed in leather, like a dominatrix. I asked her if she was mistaken, but he insisted no, it was most definitely him. She said she overheard him saying to the guy "thanks for 3 years of great fun... may it continue!"I've confronted my husband, but he denies it, despite the evidence.I feel disgusted but at the same time shocked, as I thought I had a loving husband. He helped me through a period of depression I had 2 years ago, and has bought me great romantic presents on my birthdays. He's also well-liked within our family and circle of friends, and helps autistic adults as well.I don't know what to do, or where to go next, please help me.Becky
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 Yeah, I don't buy your friends story... that's a mouthful of a sentence she heard. Even if she was walking by 25 feet away, I would still be pretty impressed if she heard what she claims to have.
Also, if your husband is devoted to you, I would think he would be a lot more secretive with his alter-life and not be parading his dominator out on the streets. Your husband seems pretty solid from your description, why would he be stupid enough to be cavorting with a fella in full leather gear on the streets? That's an aggressive move for a man who is seemingly straight and married.
If your husband seemed sketchy, nervous, guilty when you confronted him, you have something to worry about. If he seemed just as confused as we aunts on Dear Cupid are, I would not take your friend seriously.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 November 2008):
 Unless your friend was driving by in a horse and buggy I doubt she could have heard this conversation. What you need to ask yourself is what possible reason would your friend have to make up a story like this? What was your husband's demeanor when you confronted him?
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A
female
reader, Serenity1 +, writes (12 November 2008):
 have you ever noticed any feminine ways about your husband? im sure you would know in your heart if you have. if so...get rid of him...AIDS is something to be scared of that is perdominantly among male gays.
i had a similar situation...with my husband i knew he had been sexual with a man and still married him...BIG MISTAKE...if you find that your husband at the least is interested in men...LEAVE AND DON'T LOOK BACK...he's obviously scared of the reaction of family and friends, but eventually his heart desires will override that and he will come all the way out of the closet.
Best Hopes
TWM
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A
female
reader, Nikkii Babyee +, writes (12 November 2008):
 One Thing Sayin "thanks for 3 great years of fun may it coninue" doesnt sound like a thing many people would say to someone ona street an the person below me is totally right i can barely hear people in a car never mind outside it unless ther screamin! id confront yer friend tbh seems a bit dodgy!
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter +, writes (12 November 2008):
 Your friend WAS DRIVING BY AND HEAD YOUR HUSBAND SAY THAT??? Try it yourself, would you be able to hear anything when your windows are up and when your driving??? Thats insane...
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