A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been having an on off affair for 3 years, and I just don't know what to do, I have a good wife I have been with since I was 17 and 3 beautiful daughters, the woman I am having an affair is loving and the sex is just fantastic.... but everytime I try to end it I'm pulled back to her, last time I ended it I was quite horrible to her hoping that she would forget all about me and move on, I met her recently and she told me that I hurt her so badly she put a hit out on me! And because I met her we are now at it again, and she wants me to leave my family or she is going to tell my wife everything and have me beaten up..... What the hell am I going to do??? Any advice would be gratefully appreciated
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): ...And your problem is ???
You are in this sh1t bec you want to be. I agree with your lover, u need to leave your wife. Why are you so amazed by her ultimatum?
I truely do hope your wife is also F*cking around on you- then u will know how it feels.
You do not love your wife and kids and you do not care anything about them So please do as your gf says and divorce the wife. What else is there really?
Perhaps you need to see yourself clearly to really understand- currently u are spineless, selfish, without any moral convictions and you care nothing for those you claim to love. Perhaps if you start thinking with your head instead of your *ick, then maybe u can grow some b*lls and turn your life around.
Good luck Bud, I will advise u to get some protective gear bec well u may just need it.
LoveGirl
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (9 November 2010):
If you knock on the devil's door long enough, sooner or later someone is going to answer...
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A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (9 November 2010):
ROFL
And now you get what you so richly deserve!
I cannot help but be pleased that a man as low as you, to carry on behind your wife's back like that is now getting exactly what he deserves. For the record, I don't wish you any bodily harm, and I hope the psycho girlfriend's physical threats are just the idle crazyness of someone who doesn't know what else to do - but the fact of the matter is YOU HAVE ALREADY HURT YOUR WIFE AND DAUGHTERS!
Making them aware of the injuries they have already suffered at your careless and selfish hands doesn't make those injuries any more or less grievous.
Tell your wife all about it, before psycho woman shows up and does worse than simply talk. Get the police involved and let them know that there have been credible threats of physical violence.
Your priority at this point needs to be protecting the physical well being of the innocents who may get caught in the crossfire between you and your spurned crazy.
For what its worth, I hope your wife leaves you and finds a real man.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): She's nuts! Get away from her as fast as you possibly can. She's probably either a borderline or a sociopath. Don't listen to her threats.
And yes, she'll probably tell your wife, but you can't stay with her just because she threatens you.
It looks like you're going to have to pay the price for your infidelity and confess to your wife. The wife always finds out eventually anyway. She's going to be hurt...very hurt. They liken it to the kind of pain someone has when a child dies. She's going to need a lot of love and support. And you're going to need conseling if you hope to save your marriage.
Do not play it down. Be truthful. She, at the very least, deserves the truth from you now!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): She might be calling your bluff.
Tell her first you wil call the police if she keeps threatening you - see her reaction.
Then ask her why on earth she would want to contiune seeing someone thet doesn;t even like her? let alone contiunes an affair with her.
You could tell your wife, but play it down to protect her- eg. Just say it was a one or two off, then it;s your word against that 'womans' word. You could even say that you have never slept with ther, and that she has been stalking you for ages, and you've been terrified, and worried about telling, and to scared to say anything etc. Make sure to get your story straight if you are going to do it that way, and maybe do a two pronged approach. Tell your Wife you may have to call the police first, then tell her the rest playing it right down, and as if YOU are the victim. I know it 's wrong to lie, but you have to protect your wife's and families feelings at this point. You owe nothing to that other women, so dont; even consider backing down to her threats. Good luck. Let us know what happens. xxx
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 November 2010):
 I suppose those are the consequences for having an ongoing affair.
Own up to your affair, tell your wife as soon as possible..like Caring Guy said, it's best coming from your mouth than hers. Deal with the aftermath, then look into a restraining order. Even though it may sound like an empty threat, I'd still treat it as a serious one. It couldn't hurt to lay low for a while, at a friend or relative's house. Hope you have learned your lesson.
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A
female
reader, fisch777 +, writes (9 November 2010):
You need to tell you wife. Not even for the fact that you don't want to supposably be with this women anymore and she's threating to tell your wife, but because out of respect for your wife. You've disrespected her so much already so I think you should atleast give her that much. She will be mad, hurt, etc and she may even leave you but thats just the right thing to do. Plus even if your gf doesnt tell her and you end it and stay with your wife and pretend as if nothing happened theres a very high chance you'll just do it again. My suggestion own up to your affair, and if theres anyway go to counseling. Three years to cheat is a long time so somethiing obviously needs to be fixed.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 November 2010):
Oh dear. You picked the original bunny boiler!
Basically, you need to tell your wife before she does. It's not about trying to lie or hide it all anymore. Now it's about damage control. And yes,your wife and daughters will not appreciate it in the slightest. But it's better coming from you than from a psycho woman turning up on the doorstep to either hurt you or worse, hurt them (which she might do if she's that crazy) Tell her and get it out, then worry about this psycho beating you up. Your wife needs to know that she, as well as you, could be in danger from this other woman. And look into getting a restraining order too.
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A
female
reader, sugarcandy +, writes (9 November 2010):
You need to tell your wife.
You telling her is infinitely better than your mistress telling her.
Then you need to contact the police if she threatens you.
Once you tell your wife, you won't have any reason to feel obligated to be with her.
You are feeding her insanity right now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): tell your wife about your affair - before your psycho girlfriend does. then if your wife decide to leave you, your girlfriend will be happy and stop being so psycho. if your wife decides not to leave you (and honestly I don't know why she would want to stay with you) then you can get a restraining order on your girlfriend and not have to keep that a secret from your wife.
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