A
female
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30-35,
*inkgoblin15
writes:I have a jealousy problem and I shouldn't be jealous because I have no reason to be... Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with it? I mean its starting to get out of control and I realized that tonight lol Because I made an ass out of myself tonight, my mom now knows the dark side of her daughter :S
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reader, pinkgoblin15 +, writes (29 June 2009):
pinkgoblin15 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well when i go out with my bf's to his friends house (lets say Rob) when I walk through the door Robs mom or sister normally stop me to ask me if were married yet how Ive been were am i living the normal chit chat. While i'm being interogated (lol) bf and Rob head down to his room. I rush down there as fast as I can to make sure that there not smoking pot or talking bad about me. It normally ends with them stopping talking as soon as they see me sometimes. So for the rest of the night im pretty angry and I treated my bf like crap :S The day before yesterday his other friend which i hate with a passion lol Invited us to a barbq with his family (that would mean me visiting with strangers so i didnt go) But my bf went. Of course i didnt want to stay at home with my bfs mom bc i hate her -,- so i went to my grandmas house to visit with her. It was going as usual her going on about my brothers drug problems and going for icecream the normal stuff ect.. Well it was about 9: at night i was gonna head home but i decided to call first to make sure my bfs friend wasnt gonna spend the night bc i dont like him . I called four times but nobody answered period which was weird bc his mom and sister dont leave the house unless the library or there going to the store with the grandma to get smokes. My grandma figured that they were all over at the barbq bc we dont have very much food at home. I started getting mad at this idea bc I had a stupid idea that his mom and sister were not at the barbq and that it wasnt just a barbq it was a small party that they were drinking and smoking pot at which girls were at. And they were having a great time without me :*( Then there was a another time when I went with my mom to see some fireworks bc its almost the fourth of july.. Well before we were gonna start out me and my mom took my grandma to get some KFC and take her to get some tylenol or how ever u spell it and to pick some ciggs up for my bf. We dropped the ciggs off but as we were leaving I seen a car for his friend pull up (bfs friend is on a break fromm his school and is staying down for 2 weeks) (he goes to a special school for kids that need a second chance there breaks arent like normal schools) but nys (yay i dont have to feel bad about leaving my bf home for the millionth time) so after we got back mom dropped me off and my bf wasnt home and it was 10 at night. His mom said that he was with (jake) cruising with some guys (jake = frend that is staying down for two weeks) First thoughts smoking pot going to wild parties. So I grabbed the phone to hope that I could catch my mom before she got out of town. I told her i was lonely bc bf was cruising. I could tell she was kinda like couldnt you wait till i get home to tell me ur lonely.. lol) I was like you should pick me up so we can go hunt him down -,-. My mom said that i should leave him alone and let him have his fun. I told her that I didnt want him to have any fun LOL and that my bfs friend has some bad friends. Well the convo ended with me not getting my way and me wanting to go to the hangout spot at the cruise place to make sure he wasnt cheating on me or smoking pot : / But I convinced myself not too. I tried running to my brothers house (he's in rehab but that was the place i normally went to escape my bfs mom or get away from his annoying friend when he came down on his breaks) but my bf caught me on the way there tho.I hope I made myself clear enough in my message now. For the record. I know im controlling. I know i sound like a abusive bf or husband :S When me and my boyfriend first started going out it was rocky and I couldnt trust him at all because he was always cheating on me it was a train wreck lol! But things have changed i know deep in my heart he wouldnt cheat on me again Because I live with him we both dont have jobs or go anywhere we are getting married when we have the money. Were around eachother almost literally 24/7 he goes somewhere with a friend 90% of the time i go with him bc i dont want him doing drugs or cheating on me ect.. But yeah.. i dont see any reason for being jealous like i am.. Another thing for the record i sometimes fear that him and his mom are using me so they can keep the internet and phone bc they both have jacked up there credit and stuff.. :( -its a fear im not sure what to believe on that..My reasons for hating pot: My mom use to smoke pot all the time back when i was a teenager it was always can we go to the store mom???? No i dont want to get caught bc im high it was always that... I mention that alot in my postWell I hope that clears things up...
A
female
reader, iloveyhoo  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 try and think of other stuff, i can't really help you with this problem cause you don't really say an example of how your becoming jealous?as soon as you start feeling really jealous when you shouldn't be, try and think of something different instantly, play music and get what is in your mind out of your head.or you could even write it all down so your not letting it out in a bad way. writing poems or just your feelings down on paper really do help.
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A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (28 June 2009):
Youve done the hard part by admitting it, know you know the issue get straight to the core, you know what makes you this way sodo all you can to stop yourself falling into that trap. Jealousy is a horrible thing, but its not a disease or an illness its something you need to grab hold of in the mind. You can control it if you really want to. Youll be the only one loosing out unless you do.Next time you feel it welling up inside take a breather, just take some time out to think it through and put the situation into perpective, you say your mum knows about it why not try talking to her? The more you start being honest the more itll ease away and eventually leave you, everyone has jealousy in them its another emotion that makes us human. Im sure by talking to someone about it youll find the help you need. Best of luck
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