A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am soon to be married to my boyfriend of 4 years. Things are great between us that's why we decided that it's time to take our relationship to the next level. He's a seaman and although our times together are limited, he makes sure to call me 1-3 times a week. Until I met someone in an online chat room, he's also filipino but working abroad too. we began talking everyday until we admitted to each other that we are starting to develop feeling to each other. Now, i'm confused..please help. thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): OK, I took some hits on this one. I expected to. I probably should have said you should think very carefully before you commit to marriage right now. You know you will face separation for long periods of time. Many women can deal with this. Some cannot. I should not have said you were "no good". I apologise. It is just that I was in the military a long time and I know what many women have done when their husbands were away. Sometimes their men were in very stressful and dangerous situations. The last thing they needed was to be worried about their wives' fidelity.
A
female
reader, angelsrock18  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 if you love your fiance then you need to tell him what is gonig on and make a decision
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A
male
reader, needhelp911 +, writes (28 June 2009):
i guess you had to make up your minds what do you want in life before someone get hurts
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (28 June 2009):
 Stop talking to this man and remove the source of your confusion. I understand it's normal to feel anxious about an upcoming wedding but you are playing with fire. I hope that you have not met with this man in person yet and that it's simply an online flirtation...but it's not fair to your fiance to flirt extensively with another man.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): You are not geared to be a sailor's wife, anon. Tell bf/fiance that you can't marry him. Don't cause him torment or fool yourself. You know you could never be faithful to him. If you are already goofing around with an internet stranger, you know you can't be a sailor's wife. Unless you just want to use him for his pay while he is away and do what you want. I have known women like you from way back, hon. You are no good.
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A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (28 June 2009):
Maybe your boyfriend is not the one you want? I only say this because if he was everything you wanted and more you would have had no urge to meet people online. Maybe you're just getting cold feet about marriage. I cant answer this question, only you can- but a question I have is why were you talking to another man often enough to form feelings for him if "things are great" between you and your current boyfriend? Maybe you should think about that long and hard before you say "I do."
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