A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just had a threesome with 2 of my best friends who are engaged to each other. I thought I could be ok with it, but now I'm finding that I have strong feelings toward him. He's made it quite clear that he has no interest in leaving his partner, but I just can't stop thinking about him. He's one of the most caring guys I've ever met, and he's always been there for me. I know he has feelings for me too, but he really is devoted to my other friend. If it were anything else, I would be talking to them about it, but I can't since its about them, and none of my other close friends are around to talk to this summer. Can anyone help tell me how to get over these feelings I'm having?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): I know he's not interested in a poly-amorous thing, he's talked to me before how he could never handle that sort of thing, it'd be too complicated and there'd be too much jealousy and stuff.It's hard to get away because I'm staying at their house for the summer. I live several states away from them and am staying here another month. I understand I need to not have any more sex with them, and the man agrees, he doesn't want to make things even more complicated for me.What I'm trying to figure out is how to get over this, I have nobody to really talk to about this, and I have no idea how to get over these feelings :(
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 June 2009):
 This is exactly the reason I usually advice people to NOT do threesomes. Someone always ends up getting hurt.As hard as it sounds I think you need to NOT go there again. (sexually). If you care about BOTH your friends you will have to let it go. They are engaged, which means they have committed to one another on a more serious level. They might not end up marrying each other, but are you willing to be the cause of a break up?If he does drop her for you, you have lost a friend.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): You're not in love, you're in lust. These two invitedd you in for sexual pleasure, nothing more. Bet you three did not talk about boundaries first either. At least you know what kind of man you are looking for. Therfore, leave your friend's man alone. If you don't, there will be bad feelings all the way around. No one will forgive any of the others.
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 He is a complete no go zone, any approach and you will lose both friends and as it is now any more attention to him and he could walk. It will take time but unfortunately it means not spending so much time with them anymore.
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