A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband has a best friend that he hangs out with all of the time. He has recently gotten to the point where he goes outside to talk with him. I came home one day on my lunch break and when his friend called he was speaking in codes, and finally made it clear to his friend that I was home and he couldnt talk by saying "what did you say honey", I hadnt said a word.He has gotten hemroids twice and we have been married for quite some time. He has asked me to perform sexual acts with him that has never been discussed during our marriage. Our last family trip out of town he brought his friend along, and communicates that it is because his friend hasnt been exposed to the world outside of his state. He also comes over just about every other weekend.I have tried setting his friend up with some of my beautiful friends, but he always finds something wrong with them.Is he cheating.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): I dont know how to add to my current information, so here it is. I do think that something is going on. There have been times that he will talk to him and take his conversation outside. I have asked him is he gay, and he becomes so defensive that it scares me. The sexual act that he asked me to perform was in reference to placing his parts in places that had never been explored. The first time that he got hemroids, he tried to hide the prepiration H. Now why is that.
When his best friend comes over, he makes an effort to talk of the lack of sexual activity that he and I have, but tries to pass it off as frustration.
He has picked up a drinking habit and when his friend comes over they drink, drink, drink. Like I said his friend comes every other weekend, and when his friend doesnt come, some times he goes there.
Dont get me wrong he has good qualities about him, but I am so concerned that I dont know what to do. My gut feeling says that something is there, but since I asked him if he was about a year ago, I feel as if he has changed his actions in my presence towards his friend.
I have tried to set him up with beautiful friends of mine, but like I said he always is opposed to it.
Now that I have added this information, what do you think?
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (30 July 2008):
 I agree with the Wulf dude...Regardless of whether something sexual IS going on, the fact that there is so much time being spent to the point that you think it could be a relationship is enough just cause for a sit down and a reassessment of your hub's priorities. good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): I agree with Fade...You just have to be point blank and ask..If your uncomfortable with the friendship, then obviously there is something there...Maybe not sexual.But something. Please let us know what is going on. And know that I will pray for you Sweet Pea
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A
male
reader, davie  +, writes (30 July 2008):
That is a tricky situation. Even if you did ask him, as being suggested, if he said an outright NO would you believe him? Even if he is bisexual or gay he might be terrified of losing you and say he isn't. Like one of the other posters asked is there anything else that made you suspect this?
Anyone can get hemroids for a huge variety of non-sexual reasons so I wouldn't put much weight on that fact.
Maybe you could ask the friend if he is gay and watch his verbal response and his body language. You have reason to suspect him as he isn't in a relationship and has rejected the women you've introduced.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 I tend to agree with Tisha-1. She has made very good points. I want to add a grain of salt. Doubt is a very powerful force. I'm afraid that it's impossible to just tell you to take it easy and not suspect anything. I think that you must know whether something is going on. I don't think your husband would tell you. You will have to find out yourself.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 July 2008):
 Obviously, this relationship is making you uncomfortable and you have formed some doubts in your mind. You need to think about what it is exactly that has set off your 'spidey-sense' here. Is the combination of things, or was there some incident that got you to thinking this way?
You could do as Fade suggests and come right out and ask him if he's bisexual.
I don't know your husband, you do. Do you think that you can live with this level of uncertainty and distrust?
Hemorrhoids aren't necessarily a result of any sexual activity. Sometimes a sex life gets a little stale and injecting new things into it can reinvigorate it.
This guy might just be a bit of a loser and your husband feels sorry for him.
But you could be right and there is a problem.
All you can do is ask, or watch closely. I don't think we can answer your question.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Wulfgrimm +, writes (29 July 2008):
Could be, but your going to need a little more evidence then this. I agree with Fade, straight up ask him whats going on. If nothing else tell him you think that him spending so much time with his friend is taking away from you two.
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