A
female
age
36-40,
*ani
writes:Hi i have been married since 3 years and have 2 months baby boy.my problem is tht my husband has started cheating me without any general reason .i m 23 and he is 24.i cant stand this as he does not love me and care for me any more.he doesnt even agrry tht he cheats.wat shud i do now?i dont want to continue this relationship coz i m very hurt .can u suggest me wat to do ?he also says tht he is not happy wid me n shouts.due to depression i have started smokinn.plz help me as i m mentally sick Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): if he's already cheated several times and you are still with him then you are basically giving him the OK. He knows he can cheat, say sorry, and you will stay with him, he can have his cake and eat it too. Ever heard of "fool me once shame on you, full me twice shame on me"? Well, i guess what i'm trying to say is you need to get out of the relationship before your son gets old enough to know he's growing up in an unhappy home, then it starts to effect him, and then you will have a whole new set of problems on your hands
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (14 July 2008):
 You have just had a baby 2 months ago and have been pregnant 9 months. I am by no means condoning your husband's actions but could it be that he feels a bit left out? All of your attention is now on your new son and towards the latter part of your pregnancy you probably didn't feel like sex as often and this could be the reason he's cheating. Your hormones will also be all over the place after having the babey and more than ever you need your husband's support right now so I know how difficult this must be for you. Okay, so what do we do about it?
You say divorce is out of the question... Are you still in love with him? If so, you should try to sit down and talk to your husband about how you're feeling. Explain to him how you find it difficult coping with a new baby and ask for some support from him. TELL him you still love him and want to make the marriage work and always try to look good for him as men are very visual. It's easy when we have a child to forget to look good for our men, all our attention goes on the newborn and we forget to take time out for ourselves to look good so when you put your son down for a nap take time out for yourself. Put on some make up, do your hair and relax. This will make YOU feel better too.
If on the other hand you DON'T love him anymore and definitely don't want to be with him any more then talk to your family or a close friend and tell them what's happened. Ask them for their advice and support (if they are the same religion as you are) and even ask to stay with them for a while until you sort out in your head what your next step will be.
Regards,
~Eve~
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female
reader, sani +, writes (14 July 2008):
sani is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i m considering all the answers of my question but the thing is i m a muslim n in our religion its very disastrous to get divorced . there will b no one to help me even my own family will stand aside . i dont understand tht where shud i go ?if i run away from my place i will be easily tracked and killed is their realy anything to get me out of this situation\\\\\\\\\\?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008): why are you not leaving this man? there is no love in this marriage. clearly you need help from someone to get away. any family you can go to? no woman should ever have to put up with that. there are men out there that love and respect the women that they are with and would never dream of cheating on them. please quit smoking and please get some professional help if you feel that you are getting mentally ill.
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female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (13 July 2008):
 First I want to tell you I'm sorry your marriage is not a happy one.
You're not happy and this is affecting you a lot. And he is not willing to change for you and doesn't even care for you. You already know the answer! You have to end the relationship. Separate from him and tell him to give you space. File for divorce.
If you can, go to your mother's house or a friend that can help you. This will be a start. Also, try to stop smoking mostly for your baby's sake. A kid that young will be affected by the smoke of the cigarret so please at least think of her when you do.
Listen to the other aunties advice because I'm sure they'll say something better.
Good luck and I hope everything will be better for you
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female
reader, tierani417 +, writes (13 July 2008):
 Ok..Well I've never been married..But, I have been cheated on, and it hurts! If he doesn't love you anymore, I'd say divorce is the best thing to do. Don't stay together just because of the kid, if he is hurting you, then it's time to say goodbye. If you haven't done anything about him cheating on you either, he probably thinks it's okay and that you're letting him get away with it. Relationships work both ways, if he isn't trying, then it won't work out. Sorry. Best wishes!! And if you need anymore help you can private message me and I can try to help you more!
Xo-Tier
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female
reader, Torianne +, writes (13 July 2008):
 I think your husband is being very unreasonable having an affair when you have a new born baby. It sounds like you also may be suffering from post natal depression.
I have a few questions so please do not be offended...
Was it an arranged marriage?
What proof do you have he is cheating?
Has he cheated before?
Please answer these so i can try and help!
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A
female
reader, smile-babes-x3 +, writes (13 July 2008):
hey, relationships arent really my expertise as i am only like 13 lol, but heres my advice. the way your husband has been treating you is wrong, and you shouldnt stand for that. you said that you dont want to carry on the relationship because he has hurt you, and in my opinion he is not worth the hassle so you shouldnt carry on with the relationship because he will keep hurting you and that has and will affect you and you baby. you are both innocent and dont not deserve this treatment, you deserve alot better hunni x if you are worried about the effect that a broken home might affect you baby then all i can say is that this cheating problem will affect your baby in worse ways if it continues. however if you decide to carry on with him then lay down ground rules and make damn sure that he will never cheat on you again, or thats it your gone. best of luck, to be honest you sound like you deserve much better x hope this helps (: if you have any questions about my answer then go onto my columna dn send me a message and i will get back to you.
charlotte
(:
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