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female
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*ornwall
writes: After 15 years together, I now find my husband has been using prostitutes/call girls on a regular basis. He tells me he still loves me,and is committed to me, and his two children. What he has with these women is "his private life" and does not impinge on our relationship. Now I know, I am devastated. Our relationship has always been good, and sex mutually satisfactory. Have you experienced this?
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female
reader, Mia26angel  +, writes (6 September 2014):
I have been with my husband since I was 17 years old, I gave him my heart and soul and three daughters. I always always felt he was cheating on me, all his excuses the man had meeting all the time or going out with friends all the time, I would check his phone records and questioned him why are you calling a escorts service he would answer someone must of used my phone, every story in the book he would give me. No at the time I knew better I knew he was cheating I felt I have no out, no money be held all the cards and for some sick reason I still loved him. I best thing in the world that happened to me, I started my own company working night and day and also taking care if my girls. One day I woke up and realized I don't love this man anymore he has cheating on me with whores our entire marriage, so I made a exit plan, I've met a man who loves me like no other, so move on girls get out of it take those sunglasses off men that pay for sex are scum of the earth you need to find happiness in life and you never will with a cheater it took me 20 years to figure it out but now I'm in love with my soulmate who only wants me. Life should be happiness every day
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2013): I have been married married over 25 yra and have adult Kids I consider my self attractive for my age and keep my self up..I found in my hubbys car a small jar of Vaseline Some feminine wipe and a tissue with lipstick on it confronted husband he says he doesn,t know any thing about Then it gets better we were walking down town and there was two hookers one shouted out to him ,there is the cheap bastard the I worked hard for and he didn,t even give me a tip , and as we got in to the car all my hubby could say is I did,t know they got tips ..the war began I have since foundI long piece of red hair under the mat in the back set and after womens sun glasses .of course he says he knows nothing doesn,t remember I got a therapist got tested for all the stds which is very humilating because I have to go back fo retest to make sure they said it takes a while for thhese stds to show up.I went to the bank took my half of the account in to another bank changing my name back to my single .and can not stand the sight of thhis man ,, no wonder..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2013): Yes I've experienced this with a boyfriend (ex). They don't change. It becomes an addiction. Mine grew up with using prostitutes and I think it gave him a sense of power and control in his chaotic life. He also got off on the double life thinking he pulled the wool on someone. It excited him. Misogynist with a mother/whore complex. Yet you would never know if you spoke to him you would think he was the nicest guy. But never trust what they say...their actions are what they are. Funny, the story about his parents go is that the mother was very poor and 18 years old and saw this brand new gorgeous Mercedes convertible and it didn't matter that his father was 40 years old. She quickly became pregnant before her wedding day. So what did that teach her son? Convertible down($$$) panties down.
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reader, Selfish +, writes (1 July 2013):
I do hope you also have a "private life" and sleep with his best friend, boss, business partner or if he has a brother maybe father? Even better his worst enemy. Tell him you really do love him and it does not affect your relationship with him and you are still committed to him and the children. I wonder if he would be sitting here on the computer venting and devastated. I don't think so. He would be on the computer picking out a prostitute or several of them from his catalog. Why did Jackie Kennedy Onassis become so successful? She acted like her husbands.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2013): unfortunately, as I am getting older, I realize this is life and reality. most men will stick in in anything they can find. the alpha man who makes more money feels entitled to do it more and has his ego stroked by being able to pay for escorts. why not? Even if the wife, girlfiend, lover finds out and leaves, there is about 50 more women that will replace her in a heartbeat. this has been occurring since the beginning of time and even in the animal kingdom. google lions mating and you will see how lions (animals) and female lions interact and mate. as soon as another lioness comes around, the lion is ready to mate. I am not going to say men are animals but reality is men do not think with their minds and definately don't think with their heart that they will "hurt" you. it was never about you. it was about their ego and really why not? women are not any better. They see what they want and don't care about anything else but themselves. it's all about being selfish. as a woman, I can't give any advice about this. but when it happened to me, I asked myself....do I want to keep him for whatever reason? then keep him....do something to make yourself feel better ( find a hobby, get a new workout routine, have revenge sex yourself whatever) do it and then put it behind you. he will cheat again. They all do. Or if you don't want to keep him for whatever reason (pride, ego, afraid of stds) then don't keep him. move on. but the next guy might be the same or worse. There is a saying that crazy women or hookers have the best luck. why? crazy women or hookers (escorts) don't think with their hearts, have ego, pride. they think from the waist down like men.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2013): I am a prostitute and many of my clients are married.The reason that men visit me is that many wives only allow basic sex.You need to dress up and demand sex and not wait for him to start the process.Pearl
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reader, jenjole +, writes (3 June 2013):
 It is devastating on every level affecting our dignity, self worth, self respect, self confidence, ability to trust or even understand how the person we share our life with could violate our intimacy in this disgusting choice of paying for sex, exposing our intimacy not only to the prostitute but also every person she's had sex with and they've had sex with and on it goes...How f---ing dare they make that choice for us, and for what? Their pathetic EGO, that's what! Funny thing is prostitutes are also the worlds best actresses and they only act as though his penis is creating some off the charts pleasure and orgasm, screaming orgasm, yeah right, with a total stranger, puh-lease...SUCKA! Men are so stupid, they believe this act. I know because when I discovered my husband was paying "escorts" 150.00 an hour, he argued with me and did not believe it was an act, I said I'll bet she said you were so good she'd of done it for free...but didn't and wouldn't because truth told, she hates her job and the men she plays even she finds these dicks pathetic and immoral. He was shocked at my psychic ability in knowing what was said. LOL the only part of this nightmare I actually did LOL even funnier because it was at his expense, the expensive, pathetic, penis ego stroking crushed by mua, awe,shucks I'm sorry NOT! I am so so glad i don't have an intelligence rendering penis No, she has NOTHING on you that doesn't change the emotional rape of your soul and he paid for you to feel this low. It is a very sad state of affairs when the person who shares your life would let something as small as his dick destroy your life in a big, big way. My life has been destroyed aqain and again by false promises I wanted to believe and it doesn't get easier the 2nd or 3rd time in fact it is more devastating because he KNOWS the agony, but, does not care about the pain, unbearable pain for us and on top of that I think how stupid could I be? Insult to injury plus the waste of time regaining trust, to be crushed by betrayal! Ripping your heart out and stompin on it! I have to believe all men are not this shallow and if they are who needs it? I know exactly how you feel I can't stop crying, I hate him beyond words yet I'm scared, I know my life will be a struggle financially, at my age, 53, I wasted 25 yrs investing in growing old together now my golden years will be spent scraping by. It is scary but it's truly frightening to live with a monster willing and able to deal you unbearable pain for his pleasure. Leave him now, it is a waste of time regaining trust which takes ALOT of time and he can never repair the damage he's done even IF he tries and you shouldn't have to! Don't blame yourself and don't make it your goal to give him whatever you THINK she has that you don't, you are not the one with a problem, HE IS! IT IS NOT WORTH IT! He will think he can do ANYTHING and you will put up with it! I'm feeling your pain!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): Gee can't believe how many women this happens to. I just found out my husband of 20 years has been visiting hookers regularly, via a text message. I too am told that he loves me and wants to make it up to me and will never do it again. What a load of shit! I am disgusted, angry, sickened and disappointed to say the least that a man would risk his relationship, his family for a quick fix with a hooker. I thought we would grow old together, but this just shows me that this man is selfish beyond words, and is only interested in himself. He even admitted if I did this, went and had sex with a male prostitute, he would be devastated and leave! How does that work? Infidelity is what it is - doesn't matter who its with, one person or a dozen. You make the choice to go and be intimate with someone else, full knowing that this is doing the wrong thing by your partner.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): My husband had an affair last year with a bit of filth he me in a brothel. I was devastated enough to find out about the affair but further investigation on my part lead to me finding he has been visiting mature prostitutes for years.I thought we had the perfect marriage. I enjoy sex and never declined his approaches for it. In fact I wanted more and thought my libido was greater than his. I had no idea he was getting sex from elsewhere.We (other than this) have had a really happy marriage but I can't come to terms with his cheating on me especially when I gave him no reasons for it.My life is a mess. I can hardly function. I feel embarrassed, humiliated, ugly, worthless. I can see no way of being happy if I stay with him or leave. I know how you feel...
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): When my baby was 2, I found out that my husband was doing the same thing, I discovered it through his mobile bill as I was checking same to do our accounts, I used to run his company for him. We worked through it or so I thought, I have no family in this country, I was vulnerble and now nearly 6 years later, I see I was not strong enough to throw him out. Now, although we have a very happy marriage, I am leaving, I know in my heart I will never, ever really forgive him, it will always be there and I am finally strong enough to move on to my own life. It is difficult but I do not want to end up with him when I am too old to find someone else. I would never have done this if he had not betrayed our marriage first. I would have like to have had more children but once I found this out, I made sure I didn't, now I am 43, I feel he has robbed me of this as well as my dignity and self-respect.
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reader, Gailw +, writes (2 March 2010):
I'm going through the same thing. I have been married for 13 years and found out slowly over the last 12 weeks ago that my husband has been seeing prostitutes monthly for the last 9 years. That is more than a 100! He was arrested 8 years ago for trying to pick up an undercover police officer and I had no idea. They did an "arrest and release" so he only had to pay a fine, that is why I never knew. He has spent so much money and lied so much it is overwhelming.
We are not living together but we are both going to therapy. He says he will NEVER do this again and wants our family to stay together. But ever week I find out about more lies.
Can anyone here that found a way to stay with their husband tell me how you did it?
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reader, Miamine  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 Wow, can't believe the moderators let this post through.. obsessedwithwhore that is some serious venting.. Have you ever thought about seeing a doctor to deal with these mental issues?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): I have been married 40 years this year to a man who I thought was my lover and best friend but on checking our credit card bill I saw an entry for Cinderella Rotterdam for £250. As my husband works away from home and has done all our married life and on this occasion he ship was docked in Rotterdam his reply was 'the lads took me for a night out' After more questions he then admitted he had been with a prostitute but did not think I would have been hurt, Hurt I feel destroyed, dirty, unloved my emotions are in turmoil, all I can see in my head is my husband I can't call it making love - screwing another woman and what for? Why wait until our age why not earlier? He is now as devastated as I am we are not communicating by phone only by e-mail as he is now away on the ship for 5 weeks but I cannot come to terms with the thought of his betrayal. My trust has been taken away from me and we have lost something very special which we can never get back.Are these prostitutes as clean as they say they are or will he have to be tested for HIV?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): Just found out my husband whom I have been married to for 26 years has been seeing "escorts". Only found out because 1 accidentally left 2 opened condom sachets and it was left on my dressing table (oh yeah he invited these "escorts" into our marital home and bed). He says he never had full sexual intercourse, "only" bj's and hand jobs, which I can well believe as he cant maintain an errection due to antidepressant he is on (effexor).
Im still devastated though :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): I really feel for you. I am going through the exact same thing. I have been with my husband for 21 years. He was my universe. My first true love. I found out in april this year that he had been cheating on me with a 21 year old thai girl. He started I think at least 4-5 years ago.(he is 43 - he wont admit to when, but I found e-mails from her as early as 2003). He is now truly remorseful and desperately wants a second chance. (Our relationship had not been good because of his frequent "business" travel and standoffish behaviour and I had chalked it down to stress, never thinking that he would betray my trust, as I had done so much for him. Now I am severely depressed, on medication, and feel am between a rock and hard place. I cannot forgive or forget, as I feel he is not the person i thought he was. However, I am now too severely in a state of shock to make up my mind...so i understand what you are going through
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reader, bunny2007 +, writes (31 October 2007):
 I fully understand that some women and children are forced into prostitution and I think it's very tragic. I'm don't feel I'm ranting. The prostitutes who posted have said they like what they do and are preaching a load of bull. your right it is a sign that I'm upset and hurt but why shouldn't I be. anyways if I feel like ranting I can and will, its a free site to write how you feel. What planet are you from exactly? I'm very confused and hurt thanks for your tasteful reply, very insightful and helpful....not!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): Well I can understand the rants and emotional hurt going on here but the fact of the matter is the man went and did this for his own reasons. The 'problem' is the mans own - maybe because of the way he sees the relationship he has at home or something in his make up. BUT he enjoys it too! Telling prostitutes that they are evil is a big mistake. Some women are 'forced' into prostitution by personal circumstance or criminals but many just find it an easy way to make money, given they can find safe circumstances to do business and the y it in the main - not easy to choose their customers.
Consequently I can only find ranting as a sign of peoples hurt and their misconceptions of the whole situation. Further if a woman ranted illogically like this I would want to see a prostitute too! No problems, both know they are there for mutual benefit, relaxing, refreshing, happy times - who would need to be married. The only other alternative would be to swing, surely? Or divorce? Perhaps he loves you after all - despite your ranting?
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reader, bunny2007 +, writes (11 October 2007):
My husband has also been visiting prostitutes for the last 7 years of our relationship. I just wanted to say to all the slut pro's who keep writing in, I am fully aware that the men who do this make the choice to visit you not the other way round but please don't come on here making out your clean wholesome and trying to justify what you do as just a job. Hello! your allowing men to use and abuse you what a lovely way to make a living and you do have the choice. What a great example you are to your kids. Let me tell you something I'm beautiful wholesome and i have the highest respect for myself and my body none of the sluts my husband slept with will ever be able to hold their heads up and say that. The reason your all trying to justify yourselves is because the reality is your ashamed of what you do and if you had the money and stability you would not in a million years be letting men use you for money. You might think your getting one over on the wives who have the nice cars and big houses but thats exactly it your'll never have what they have even if you shagged 100 men every night for a year. Ultimately no shower is gonna wash the dirt away.Maybe you could give bleach or harpic a go.If theres nothing wrong with your so called 'job' why do you feel the need to keep letting everyone know how clean you are. hows about you learn how to love yourselves first before you start preaching to me what love is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): I posted this on another Aunt Agony site:
"I too found out over the summer that my husband is seeing escorts. Found the number on his cell phone. Then there were no more numbers, and I found out that shortly after he got a prepaid cell phone that he keeps at work that he now uses for his adultery. I read on a "sex worker" site that many of them advise their married "clients" to do this, and other tips so that the wife doesn't find out. A lot of cash has been unaccounted for and missing for months. He's come home after working all day in 100 degree heat smelling like a flower garden from the waist down(massage oil, soap, lotion?). I am probably the stupidest woman on earth. Here's why. We were married once before, he cheated on me (not with escorts, as far as I know, but went on "dates" with women he met from personal ads). We divorced, and a few years later he came after me again, wanted to be with me, was a changed man, learned his lesson, found God, etc. I didn't believe him, of course, but kept talking to him, started seeing him, and indeed I found that he was a totally different wonderful man, and stayed that way consistently. We had the best communication, which we never had before. My trust in him slowly started coming back. We were best friends in addition to romantic relationship. It was like a dream come true. He broke me down bit by bit and I fell for it eventually. He asked me to marry him and I accepted. Things stayed wonderful for over a year, then he started acting strange to me, mean sometimes, then loving, then mean. Our communication started breaking down. Then I found out what's been going on. I am devastated all over again. I don't mean to discourage anyone, we all have our own perspectives, but when I read about "sex addiction," and "terrible childhoods," and "he needs counselling," all I can think of is that, true or not, it really doesn't matter. My husband had a terrible childhood, we'd been through TONS of counselling our first marriage, he even found the Lord (or so he said), and he demonstrated "change" brilliantly. And we are back to square one. I can't believe that I'm living this nightmare AGAIN. I'm 47 years old now and the thought of going through all that again, starting over, etc., makes me SICK. I finally subscribe to the old adage, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Simple as that, in my mind. I'm to the point that I don't care about his childhood, his "addiction," or whatever. He's immoral, that's the root of the problem. Not sure any counsellor can instill character and integrity in a person. If he's addicted to sex with whores, he had no business marrying me. I'm sorry to say I will never trust him again, even if he would want to "seek help." I haven't confronted him with this yet. Still thinking of my options. I want to be clear-headed and make decisions that are made in a practical calm way, not in the heat of anger and devastation. When I confront him, if that's when he would want to get help (which I doubt would be his response anyway), would that really have any meaning? He's not hot to trot to "get help" now, he's hot to trot to be with his whores. That's the truth of the matter. I probably could never trust a man again in my life. That's what he's done to me."
To the "pros" posting here -- I blame my husband more than anyone, he's the one that made vows to me and sought other women out -- however, paid or not, you're having sex with married men. Do you not care about what God thinks? Do you not care that you're contributing to broken lives, broken families, broken children, broken homes? Sure, if any one woman chooses not to have sex with a married man, there will be another that will. Does that make it okay for YOU? How can you live with yourselves? Don't you dare presume to talk about LOVE to me. Really, he LOVES me? I think you have all been living a twisted life for so long you probably truly don't understand the meaning of the word. Neither do your johns. Frankly, the poem makes me sick. What a great guy, he LOVES his wife so much, she means everything to him, they're soulmates. What a lie. It's not a date, it's a commercial transaction. Wow, thanks for making me feel better. So when my husband cheats on me, lies to me, spends money we don't have, sins, breaks his vows to me, breaks my heart, and ruins my life, I should just tell myself that it's a commercial transaction? How very comforting. And I love the part about the one little flaw, poor guy, he has missionary once a week. But he's SOOOOO in love. Maybe his wife thinks their sex life is boring and SHE is unsatisfied. It's always the wife's fault, right? We're lacking in some way, that way you & your clients can all feel better about yourselves. Did it ever occur to you that your clients are lying to you (and themselves) trying to justify what they're doing? What about those of us who have great sex with our husbands, and frequently? Creative sex, oral sex, varied sex, you name it. Sometimes HE can't keep up with ME! I also have kept myself looking nice. Do you think he's going to tell his whores all that? No, if I'm talked about, I'm sure it's not truthfully. Remember, he IS a liar. He tells you he's the good guy, loves his wife, BUT . . . Good luck to you and your married clients in conducting your commercial transactions. We'll all have a day when we'll have to account for our lives.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): Hi
My husband is visiting seedy places who offer massages and "happy endings". He blames me for this. He thinks he is not satisfied by the frequency of our sex, and he always asks for doggy style.
I have been so naive believing my husband has adored the ground I walk on. I had myself believing I was so lucky, and that I did not deserve him.
I have been a stay at home mum for nearly ten years now, after believing I would return to work after the birth of our first daughter. However, I had been in two bank hold ups (I used to work in a bank)which resulted in many complications which saw work again for me difficult. I am currently undertaking a course to do some work from home but have not completed this yet. Our youngest daughter begins school next year, and I feel I am getting stronger and more ready to look into something else now.
I looked at so many of my friends who had broken marriages, and he had always aligned himself with friendships that saw him become involved with men who had also been a part of broken marriages. I considered myself so extremely lucky to have this loving husband and father, who put us on a pedestal, who had my utmost respect and love, and my fidelity. I admit, I have had problems with sex, but we have experimented with a few things, simply to please him. I have tried very hard to please him in the bedroom, even when I have not wanted to. I believe I have been a loving wife and mother.
A few months ago, my husband came home with a lice infestation. Initially I believed it was the lice that comes home from school... but it proved to be pubic lice. My children have it in their scalps. How? I am finding so difficult to believe anything he says to me now. He has had so many other things in his past make me question his commitment to our marriage. Just last night he told me he had had opportunities to have affairs, but said he would not do that. He seems to think there is a difference between emotional commmitment and paying for it. I don't.
Marriage to me is for better or worse. He has put up with a lot of marital dramas with my post traumatic stress and obsessive compulsive disorder. I am on three antidepressants a day to control this disorder but it has had very little impact on his life for years now ... and somehow, I am supposed to feel grateful to him for not having taken up these opportunities. He goes away on conferences for work (one such colleague from one training course in another state which I know was a valid course, as the company DID pay for it - called his mobile in a drunken state at about 2 a.m. in the morning). He has had sores on his genitals and now our daughters have got pubic lice in their hair! I feel sick to my stomach, but I still love this man... I know I need to wake up and smell the coffee. I know in my heart he loves me, but I also know he does not love me enough to control his urges. I have witnessed him wanking, and I have even helped him do so when I have not felt up to the sex... I have tried the oral sex thing, even though I hate it... and I let him always finish with his favourite position of doggy style. We have tried a penis ring, so I have been open to experimentation ... and just last night, only after receiving a text message sent to my phone which says "suck my dick!" from his mobile do I insist on him telling me the truth! I am so stupid. He thinks I believe that it is these simple happy ending things, but I don't even believe him on that any more... Would You?
I witnessed my mother suffer the pain and anguish of nearly commmiting suicide after she discovered my father had an affair ... he watched it too. He promised me I was all he ever needed or wanted ... that there was no one else. He married me after this event... and he knew how I felt about it. Scarily, he admits that he knows what he has done is wrong, and shameful. I know he is sick. I think deep down he knows it too. I don't even have it in me to yell and rant and rave. I don't have it in me to even cry. I am too shocked. AND, because he admits it, there is no fight left. I want to stay and work it out. My mother did. I believe I can too; but do I want to? My children adore their father ... even though he can be a very difficult man to live with... and I adore him too. BUT, my heart is so broken.
I am scared he is not prepared to stay and fight to make this work. He says he wants it to, but truthfully, I don't see him really wanting to put in the hard yards to make it work. He should be begging me for forgiveness, but part of me feels like he thinks he was within his rights to do so, because I have sometimes refused him sex. I feel like in his deluded mind, that he had a right to and that it is HIS money he has used (at $50 a pop!) yeah right .... he can't even be honest about the price. He thinks I believe him about that, but I don't. A normal massage costs about $80... one with a happy ending is not going to cost less!!!! Never mind that at the end of the month, where I have reconciled our bills, and asked him about the odd cash withdrawals, which he has simply explained away. Never mind that we have struggled to pay for speeding fines, and massages while we have only had dollars left at the end of the month to pay for food ... and only JUST this last year have I started updating my wardrobe after about 10 years for fear of spending ANY money on me. I have felt guilt about spending $7.00 on a new clothing item ... and here he is spending money on SEX!!!!!!
One reader here said, marriage is like a house which has been built up brick by brick. Well ours was a mansion in my opinion. I believed it was the best "marriage/house" on the block, in the state ... Foolish as I was... and now ... it is a demolition piece. A pile of rubble. I am nearly 37 years old with two beautiful daughters who have NO idea what their father has been doing. Young enough to start again ... and yes, deserving enough to start again. But I want him still. I love him still. Why????? I feel like such a fool to have believed in him for all these years. Believing I had the perfect husband. Oh, I have been so naive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): hi i have not been in that position, but i have been a pro, and anything you do with these men its only for money, you certainly have no feelings for them,anyone who says that pro's are whores and sluts has obviously had a gifted lifestyle, i was left with three young kids and could not afford to feed and clothe them on benefits,i have never taken drugs, and take offence to the narrow minded fools that think thats the only reason women enter this proffesion.i had to keep my children myself and my bills going to keep a roof over our heads. so to the lady whose husband visits pros we all used condoms even to give head, and a lot of pros are just ordinary mums whos husbands have walked out on them and they just want to give the best they can to their children. and of that i was never ashamed..
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): Hi,
Sorry to hear how much of a pig your husband has been i have one just like him as for the escorts that replied whether you do it just for the money your are still causing marriages and relationships to be broken and children don't ask to come into this world we bring them in and you are taking away a child's father just for sex!! Get real you sluts you are no better than the dirt dogs drop!! i could'nt give a damn whether you have a nice clean home and are clean yourself your vagina certainly won't be with all and sundry entering it and for what so you can pay the bills? What about the poor wife, girlfriend, that's left without a husband, partner, to help her pay the bills and kids to feed do you think of that?? No obviously not cause you are all selfish sickos that's why you open your legs for money you are all a disgrace and a bad name for decent respectable women all over the world!!
Take heed no man is worth being miserable over and if this is making you that you need to challenge your feelings and decide what is the best plan to take as for the whores don't waste your breath on them i have spoken to hundreds of them they are either junkies, battered woman, rejects of society basically oh and to the one who says she is of high standard and is studying PLEASE!! Wake up and smell the coffe hen your a slut plain as and what do you think any potential boyfriend soon to be hubby you eventually meet will do when he gets to know about your sordid past life?? There is a saying YOUR SINS HAVE A WAY OF CATCHING UP WITH YOU!! and believe me i have talked to many a pro who have says it has ruined their life yes i know of saunas where students studying for a degree are working just to feed themselves and are already hooked and thinking fuck the degree i can make more money screwing old farts and rejects!! hell what a way to run your life you all need help really think about what you are doing to make money get out while you can you see you are young and think money is the be and end all but you will learn it is not and far more things are worthy of your time i really hope your situation betters for your health sake and to the whores that's what you are not ESCORTS you obviously don't have the brain you claim to be studying with as a escort is not what you do dear manky sex is what you do look up a dictionary you will see WHORE AND ESCORT are two totally different things it obviously is dulling your brain already DUMBO.
t
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): I have read many comments stating that the lady concerned should get tested.Yes I agree that she should but also want to state that just because we sleep with men for money does not mean that we are not safe.I never do anything without protection and never would.People have this view that all escorts are dirty etc...I have a beautiful home and am studying also.I am very clean and have a high standard when its comes to my hygiene and looks.We are not all "prostitutes" who stand on street corners waiting to get money for our next fix.I do feel for and wife who is left hurt by her husbands actions but if they did not see me it would only be someone else.A lot of married men tell me they adore there wives but enjoy the thrill of sex with an escort.I never get emotionally involved and very few men get emotional with me.I am not going to lie and say that I feel bad etc.. because that would be a lie.I see this only as a job and I think no further then that.I make alot of money and in this one its all about being able to survive.I will continue to do this untill I get to a point where I no longer need to.Any women who ends up in your situation needs to ask them selves wether they want to stay with their husbands.Just please do not always blame the escort because if your husbands a cheater then he could of cheated with anyone.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): As an escort I see lots of married men and always get a mixture response to their reasons for cheating.Some say there home life is miserable and others say they adore there partners but enjoy meeting up with escorts to add a little more spice into their lives.I admit I would be devastated if I had a husband that cheated on me but it does not stop me seeing married men.Many will find this morally wrong but I see my work as a job.Its fantastic money and helps me pay the bills and not worry about money so much.I think as a women being cheated on you have to ask your self if its something you can live with and be able to forgive should he give it up.One thing you should be aware of is that escorts very very rarely get emotionally involved.It really is a case of in with money and out waiting for the next lot.I have never become involved with anyone whilst doing this and I never will.Foe me its security and mainly just sex for the men.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): I feel that my husband has been unfaithful to me through the years and I think he's been with prostitutes. However, he denies anything, but my gut tells me differently. How can I get prove?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): I see it from both sides of the fence.I wrote this for you. When they tell us they love their wives they honestly mean it.I'm sorry for what you've gone through, though I make no apology for being me. I do understand and feel your pain and wanted to apologise for that. I'm not a girl your husband saw, at least not to my knowledge, but I do sell myself.We all have our life stories.PuntingHe says he loves her more than anything,Would give everythingShe IS everythingHis every breathWithout her he's nothingShe has his loveHis houseHis kidsHis wedding ringThey've been through thick and thinBecome oneSoul matesTill death do they partVows madeStill validBut…The sexIt's lackingIf he's lucky it's once a weekMissionarySame routineSure it's comfortingFamiliarEven satisfyingWarm and tenderBut it's finished in minutesNo oralNo cunnilinguisIt's just not interesting, or enoughAt times it's only a step away fromBetter than a wank would rankBut…. It’s that silly thingHe may have said He loves his wifeDearlyTrulyDeeplyHe's not leavingHe adores herDoesn't want to hurt herWants to protect herIt's goodwhat they haveHe's content with his lotHappy with what he's gotIt’s not that he wants to omitButThe sexIt's lackingYet he doesn't want a divorceWhat for?What they have is perfectWith very slight flawHe loves herAnd his lifeShe's his friendHis other selfHe's not looking for anything elseNot another relationshipOr an affair BesidesThere are too may emotion involved thereBut….The sexIn marriageIt's not enoughIt's lackingWhich is why he comes to me, secretlyBringing gifts Silk and lace bought in his wife's tasteOr his, he's a dashingTonight it's theatre tickets and dinner at eightHe whispers, kissing my eyes, ears and lips My faceReaching for an envelope of cashIt's a commercial transactionNot to be confused with a dateHe loves his wifeBut….
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): This must be a horrible predicament that you are in and you have my utmost sympathy. Having read the previous replies I thought I should add something from a slightly differant angle from the others.
Amongst my clients (I am a private music tutor by the way) there are two prostitutes. They are quite open about what they do and the way they are. It is because of this I thought I should share with you a few things I have learnt from them.
It is true to say that the vast majority of men they see are married and the main reason that married men visit them is this:
They are not happy or content at the sex life they receive at home and feel a need to look elseware to fill this void that they feel that they have. The reasons they use prostitutes is because they are not interested in dating and socialising all evening in the hope of being invited in for a cup of coffee at the end of the evening. They are not interested in developing feelings for anybody else or a relationship of any kind. They also do not want the added stress of dealing with pressures put on by the other person that could cause threat to their present relationship they have. Basically apart from the lack of sex they are perfectly happy with everything else and visit these ladies in an effort of damage limitation so to say.
Visiting a prostitute enables them to have the sex they feel they need without any complications whatsoever. There are no loving feelings developed and there is no risk of the lady coming back trying to take the guy away from his marriage. The vast majority of guys who freequent these girls just want to fill the void they feel has gone from their marriage, they are often happy with everything else and remain committed to their wives in every other conceivable way.
As for the HIV element and other STDs it depends very much where he goes to get it. Going onto the street corner to do business with a girl who is funding her next drug fix who for next to noting will do it up some alley and for very little more will do it completely unprotected is simply stupid and is no more than an attempt at suicide. A kind of sexual Russian roulette if you like.
Then again if he visits a parlour or an independant escort he would usually find that this is a completely differant scenario.
I can only go by the two prostitutes I know.
(B.T.W. I haven't and would never visit one of these ladies because I am married and happily so and secondly feel that this commitment is a priceless one that two people can give to each other and not something you could put a price on.)
They are both scrupulously clean, they both go for monthly check ups and everything they do is fully protected.
They do not develop any feelings for their clients and feel that they are offering a service. By offering what they do if a guy decides to go with them they feel that the guys will feel less inclined to abuse or rape anybody else out there.
They also offer gratification to blokes out there that for whatever reason do not have and would find it virtually impossible to get themselves a partner. Both these ladies I teach piano to have a sizable clientelle of wheelchair users and other forms of handicap.
In conclusion although it is a horrible predicament that you are in please be assured that your husband does not want to end the relationship he has with you - if he did he would have got himself a mistress or developed a long term relationship behind your back . I can only hope that in choosing a prostitute to gratifuy his sexual needs he has gone to the type of lady like my two piano students and has not under any circumstances chased the crack dependant ones offering it on the street corner.
Regardless of which way you choose to go I sincerely wish you luck in your future whatever you choose to do.
Cheers
Trev
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007): Could it possibly have occurred to anyone here that his sex life at home had 'dried up' a bit?
There's many a man who has turned elsewhere when he's been refused his conjugal rights at home.
There's also many a woman who, having snared her man, lets her appearance go and doubles in size once she doesn't have to try too hard anymore!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007): The same happened with me. The sex was always good between us and he never complained but over time i saw a change in the way he looked at me. I wasnt special to him anymore. A few months down the line, i found out he had been visiting prostitutes throughout most of our relationship. He denied it initially and made up wonderful stories but in the end the truth was revealed. I was gutted and just so confused. I wasnt sure if i knew him at all.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007): I have been married for 31 years and have just caught my husband out, hes been visiting prositutes for the last 9 months that I know and feel totally heart broken and do not know what to do, I am in my middle 50 and feel that if I leave him I will spend the rest of my life alone, but I do not know if I want to stay and live a pretence life with him. I wish he had done it 10 years ago when I would have been younger and could have made a new life for myself and children, why now.
What ever you choose to do, make sure it for you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Hi,
I feel for you the pain of this is unreal only when you experience this first hand can you truly say how awful it is like you my hubby told me it was 2 years i have since found out is was 3/4 years it is devastating news i was never ever going to get used to the 2 years let alone more!!
All i can say is if you both want this marriage to truly work then you have got to go to couple counselling Relate are good and he has to speak to his sex therapists you go with him too it is a long road and it wont be easy we have been trying to sort this mess out for 7 months now and it is still devastatingly painful i have had my bags packed on more than one occasion but like you i have a long time with this man 30 years!! and it is not so easy to toss that away albeit i feel thats what he has done but he is a broken man now begging for me to stay saying he will make my life greater than i ever can imagine etc etc: now i am not so naive as to think yeah ok let's do it no it does'nt work like that and you will know what i mean! It has to be built back up if you can imagine a house been demolished and brick by brick you start to build it back up again until the house is completely finished thats what you have to endure it takes a lot of time and effort on both sides obviously he has more to do than you and i would make sure you control the money allow him his bank card no more and you start a book where every penny gets marked in that book and when your bank statements come in check it off with the book that way you will be able to control whats going in and whats going out we do this and it does work do not allow him one single penny more than he needs his social life has to cease his social life has to involve taking you everywhere you have to start dating like a couple again and that will make sure too you have the spending authority not him yes i hear you say he wont allow for that but it's as simple as this if he does'nt tell him to walk and then threaten to tell all who will listen to his secret past and yes he will bow down cause you have the reins now if he wants to stay with you as bad as he is making out he will obey this rule and thats what you have to do you are living with an addict and you have to take control now not him he has to be transparent for you now and tell him that it can work if you want it to you just have to put away these terrible things he was doing to bed now try and look at it like he had an illness and he is getting help for that illness and when he is better he will be so ashamed of his past sordid life he will never want to go down that road again bear in mind prostitutes are the scum of the earth they are filthy dirty low life who deserve all they get cause they sure as hell dont care whether you man's married or not they are only interested in one thing money and let's face it you have to question the scum they are cause what law abiding decent women drops her knickers for money? Sleazebags thats who so put yourself above this they are mindless beings with brains the size of peas!! your hubby used them same as they used him plain as and to say he was getting pleasure from these sluts is laughable cause he paid for that pleasure he would not have gotten it if he had'nt paid for it where is the sense in that?
So you see he is ill not right in the head i call it thats what i have told mine he needs physcologists help and you keep reminding him the damage you could do with this information see the look on his face when you tell him what if so and so knew about this what if your work knew your family etc: you will be surprised at how humble they become when they realise they had a good woman and now look what they have done so you take all the credit cards give him pocket money no more than you have too tell him it's the only way you can do this if he has seperate bank accounts get them closed if he has money from other means get that too you have to take control of it all!! yes i hear some say you are controlling him but you know what a lot of people who reply have not experienced this i have listen to me it is for your own good and you make sure everything you have is in two names do not allow him to have anything he could sell or take from you go on the web and read about living with a sex addict you will be amazed how widespread this problem is i was shocked however it has to be dealt with in order for you to move on only then can you start to pick up the pieces i wish you well and will check back to see how you are doing Good Luck.
J.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): Leave this man immediately and then sue him for giving you HIV. Move out tomorrow. No-one should have to live with being treated like that. xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): I posted a few weeks ago and its gone from bad to not worth living... My so called husband told me he had been seeing prostitutes for 3 years and low and behold its now 9 years and 13 has now turned into hundreds.. And my hiv test came back pos and I had to have another but it was a false pos and to be honest I wish I was dead... If only I had the courage to end this hurt and humiliation.. He told a work collegue and now i'm the laughing stock at work... I agreed to go to councelling but to be honest each week it gets worse, more prostitutes and more hurt... He won't let me out of his sight and is constantly checking my phone and trying to justify his behaviour by catching me out!!! I have never cheated ever!!!! I am so ashamed and he even told our daughter, how could he do that to me.... He says he loves me and it was just business!!! We are going to a sex therapist who says he is a sex addict so what!!!! I am living with a 42% chance of having hiv and he has problems... I'm sorry I really should of thought before I started writing but I just had to say whats in here before I explode... I have nothing everything has been taken away from me my future has been destroyed and I have been living a lie for 13 years. Will I ever stop hurting??? will I stop feeling sick to my stomach thinking about him coming back to me after each time and having un-protected sex with me every time. Will I ever ever sleep again without waking up in a blind panic and lying awake each night with total dispare in my mind.. the pain is so bad its physical it takes my breath away. How do I get over this, do I get over this or is this the way my life is going to be from now on???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2007): Sometimes over means over. I urge you to seek out your own counseling to help rid yourself of the anger and sadness you still have. Especially with children involved you owe it to them to be the best mother you can be, and that is a mother without such intense inner angst.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2007): I admire you for going for counselling. We tried that ten years ago but I just couldnt forgive him. Now i know that i will never ever be able to have sex with him again. He's made me ashamed of my own body, I think of him having sex iwth young girls who could have diseases, be on drugs etc etc and i hate him for bringing sleaze into my life. He woudl be quite happy living with me and paying for sex for the rest of his life but I don't want to live without a physical relationship, I've already wasted so many years. Having said all that, I still love him, he's the father of my children and he would do anything for me. ...I know however that I will never forgive him for this. I'm sorry but i am still so angry and bitter. Ive given him three beautiful children and 25 yrs of marriage and this is how i repay me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2007): counseling is the answer. Texting you is lame. In counseling its easy to tell how earnest he (and you) are. I made the mistake of letting him pay all the bills, I kept my checking acct seperate. You must have open access to all accts. Also his cell phone records. I figured out my husbands cell account password (he always uses the same one) they go back usually about a year and bank accts go back even further. Just google the unknown #s , they will pop up if there is a web site or ad in the paper ("massages") etc. In a large US city, a session with and upscale prostitute will require from 250.00 - 300.00 per hr. (and they usually require an hr). Erotic (happy ending) massage around 150.00. Check the cash withdrawals against the dates and times of calls. He needs to be completely transparent in order for you both to heal, and truth starts to flow (from you both). Discover the true psychological reason he chose this behavior before you make a decision regarding whether or not this is worth the effort to you. PS this also means we have to look into our own issues in the relationship as well. Not fun, but equally important.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): Oh he just sent me a text telling me how sorry he is, how much he loves me and how he'll spend the rest of his life making it up to me if i'll let him!!!
(Deja Vu!!!)
He told me that ten years ago, 6 years ago, 3 years ago etc etc
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): I am so sorry to hear u may have aids, I sincerely hope the test is negative...its made me realise i need to go and get myself checked out as soon as possible. I have friends who have rebuilt their relationships after one has had an affair and although difficult i know it can be done. The problem I have is that i would never know whether my husband is still seeing prostitutes or not. He has been doing it for ten years and has only ever admtted it after i've got proof. Its very difficult to follow someone every time they go to work or wherever. Prostitutes usually work on half-hourly appointments so he could be 'stuck in traffic' or anything. And....with mobile phones now, i'd never know whether he's where he says he is or not. I just think once theyve done it and been found out they'll just be more careful from then on in. Once a perve always a perve. Ive made my husband tell me which massage parlours/brothels he's visited and they range from very seedy to quite high class. But they are usually young girls and that makes me sick to my stomach as we have two teenage daughters. Would he like dirty old men to be fiddling with his daughters? I asked him that! Of course he woudl be disgusted but its ok for him to do it to other men's daughters. I just feel sick to my stomach by the whole thing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): Let me tell you it is unbelievably difficult to deal with this. My husband of 11 years stopped a year ago, after seeing "escorts". I caught him, and he finally confessed. We have been seeing a counselor- he goes one week, we go together the next. My husband is trying hard to be and learn about emotional issues, and is doing everything he can think of to help me and us. I still fight every day feeling fat old and ridiculous. It DOES get better with time (and TALKING to each other) altho for me, it feels like forever. I CAN concentrate now, and don't suffer in a debilitating way. I still see him in her place, doing everything with her. To the prostitute that answered above. Thanks, we all feel so much better. What you do is incredibly damaging to everyone. You are not the cause, but you tear at the very souls of families for money. You only further the damage already in place. It NEVER helps. Unmarried men are different. Go for it, they have not promised a loving life together with another. You do not turn away married men because you choose not to. Moral codes for you mean nothing. Do not pretend to be anything but a destructive force within humanity.
to the others, keep a level head, do not invest more than you can afford to lose. My husband is embarassed, and feels quite ORDINARY. He was. Quite ordinary. In this case, it seems rational to give him a 2nd chance. It is his last. We are in our mid/late 40s. We are starting over, trying to move forward together, losing our weak qualities and trying to be better people all around. It works, but you have to really want it. Above all, both of you have to willingly go to counseling, and do what they say, as consistently as possible. Try to be patient. Let yourself have bad days. Let yourself have good days.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): I have just found out my husband has been seeing prostitutes for 3 years and he has been coming home to me and having un-protected sex. The last time was Christmas Day and I found out! She has full blown Aids and she is on the street and now I have a life sentence! I have had hiv tests and sti tests and I am in turmoil!! I made him take me where they go and I found out tonight he took me to a place he goes with some of them its the same place we go and he couldn't remember! I have a 42% chance of having hiv and I have no idea how i'm going to cope... He says he loves me and its "just sex", but just sex has just killed me.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2006): my husband has been visiting prostitutes for ten years. i thought he had stopped but ive recently found out he's still doing it. he's been a good father and a good husband in lots of ways and over the years ive tried to block it out and concentrate on raising my children. when i take time to think about it properly i resent him so much. He makes me feel old fat and undesirable (i was only 40 when he first started) and ive not been able to have sex with him (apart from the odd drunken fumble) in all these years. he cries and threatens to top himself if i say i want us to split up so i stay and try to block it all out. since i found out he's still doing it (he wont give me any details) i cant block it out any longer and i am crying all the time. I cant face another ten years like this!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2006): ok ill give you an answer, leave. its that simple, he has cheated on you regardles if it was just with a call girl or not. your husband is doing this and will keep doing this because he thinks its ok. this man has little repect for your feelings and really i think you should leave the guy and take everything he has while your at it. good luck to you and you deserve so much better.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2006): I am in ths same position, however he has not confessed but I know he is seeing call girls. I am devisted myself. Please someone give us an answer!
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female
reader, kellyO +, writes (3 January 2006):
 I really wouldnt have liked to add this but a friend of mine died of AIDS in 1999 she contacted it from her botfriend who was into prostitutes. not trying to scare u but want u to be careful.i went for training after this loss to help speak and educate people on this disease and it the statistics isnt as low as we all imagine. i am based in the uk too and i have to admit that alot of guys(not sure of statistics though) are into female escort but dont make it right. i havent ever gone out with anyone involve in this and i wont condone it.
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reader, kellyO +, writes (3 January 2006):
Dearie,i am sorry dear. u should be upset and distress. He is seeing other woman(prostitutes!!) on a regular basis. I agree with others here u should have to think of the health risk involve. To see alot of prostitutes on a regular basis is putting u in danger. U have to think about your kids too what will happen to them if anything happens to you guys.Also, what example is he possibly setting for his kids and u as well for putting up with this. Believe me they will find out somehow later what are u going to tell them is your reson for condoning this behaviour.I sincerely wish u the best and the advise i can give u is to move on from this guy.
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reader, mystify +, writes (3 January 2006):
 angel underneath, what you do and what the women that the husband of cornwall chooses to see do is one thing , but you can not say that these men love their wives dearly , do you know what love is? love is when you care about someone as much or more than yourself and would do anything for them,and do anything not to hurt them!
cornwall you have every right to be devastated and you should not put yourself in a position to be put through that again, other readers have noted the health risk he has put you through, there are decent men out there,i dont understande how angel underneath can come up with a figure of 50% of uk men have done this , i dont think any men i know have ever been asked!
this isnt normal and shouldnt be tolerated, if you do it will just carry on
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reader, cornwall +, writes (3 January 2006):
cornwall is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your advice and comments, I appreciate your support.
Angel Underneath very illuminating. Tried Punernet.co.uk but unable to locate a spot for my question. Glad youre in the midlands, but he does travel!!
Husband still being very secretive about details, and I feel I have to know more before I beleive him when he says he wont do it again. Is it addictive? Has anyone out there had this happen to them?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2006): Hi Your h 'reasons' are totally irrelevanet. The fact is....he made this about you simply because it now effects your life. (You are in no way respeonsible for the fact that this h of yours has no resepct for you or any other woman.
Please do yourselrf a favour and find a man who deserves you. Leave this scumbag to his pathetic little pastime and take him for eveything you can, expose him for the sleaze he is. Tell everyone who'll listen. Too often men think they can behave like this with no consequences.
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reader, Angel Underneath +, writes (1 January 2006):
Sorry just realised that you are in the UK too- I had assumed you were in america. Just wanted to clarify that when I said the "other woman" , I don't mean that literally - I work in the midlands
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reader, Angel Underneath +, writes (1 January 2006):
I don't know if you will want to hear an answer from the "other womans" perspective but I shall give it any way. I am not replying for you to place a moral judgement on me but hope that this helps. I work as an escort ( UK version of a callgirl) and what your husband says is correct in 99% of my clients cases. The simple sad fact is that men and women tend to think very differently and men can compartmentalise sex and love very easily. Most of the married men that visit love their wives dearly and visit for the thrill of another woman without strings ( many have said to me that they would rather visit an escort than pick up someone in a bar that would have an emotional tie) It is also mooted that men pay escorts money not for the sex but to leave after the sex is finished. I've met a few men that actually meet escorts with their wives permission but on the whole then most chaps would be devasted if their wives found out. Even from my point of view then it seems a strange risk to take given that the consequence could be to lose your wife and family but I suppose that most men don't get caught so maybe they feel invincible. In the UK the statistics are that 50% of men have visited a prostitute and 10% do this on a regular basis . Its a very taboo topic .
However your husbands reaction that it is his private life is completely out of order. Know that you know he should be crawling through hot coals and bending over backwards to explain why he visits and to let you know that it will end here.
The main site in the UK is http://www.punternet.co.uk. I am sure if you posted calmly on the message board there then you would get a lot of girls telling you the same and a lot of men that would explain their own reasons behind punting(as we call it)and confirm that it really is not anything that you have done that has made your husband stray.
Whether you understand the logic behind what your husband has done is neither here or there. If you want a relationship that is mutually faithful and he can't promise that then I can't see any way out but to end things .
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2006): You would be well advised to be tested for HIV as soon as possible, your husband not only put your marriage at risk, but your health as well.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2006): Hi I am so sorry to hear about your sad situation. Your h is clueless if he really believes there is ANY excuse for what he has done.
My honest advice....move out with a friend or family, take the kids and tell him your not sure whether you wish to continue the marriage. Whilst away look after you, treat yourself as your own best friend. See a counselor, get your life and self esteem sorted. Let youyr h know you will not even enter into dialogue with him unless in the presense of a marriage counselor. The ball is then in his court. His thinking is delusional and you deserve better than a man who behaves like an animal and a pig. Best wishes I really hope this works out well for you.
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female
reader, StarNews +, writes (1 January 2006):
 Of course you are devastated, you have every reason to be. Your husband does not know the meaning of love and commitment. When you love someone, you are faithful and truthful to them. There is no excuse for his behavior, yet he tries to innocently excuse it away saying it is his "private life". The only private life he should be sharing is with his wife behind closed doors. I dont mean to sound insenstive but if I were you, I would have myself checked for STD's. How would he like it if you hired a gigilo? What a slap in the face that would be. But that doesnt sound like your style because you, unlike your husband, have class. Sadly, he doesnt seem to think he has a problem, that alone is enough reason to leave him.
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reader, ask aunty heather +, writes (1 January 2006):
your husband doesnt think being unfaithful to you with prostitutes impinges upon your relationship?.......he needs to wake up and smell the coffee! he needs to realise he is being insensitive and inconsiderate of you and your family. you both need to negociate the terms of your relationship, is it mutually exclusive? you should never assume this is the case.
if you want to continue your marriage i would urge you to go and seek proffessional marriage guidance counselling. perhaps both of you are not meeting each others sexual needs. perhaps he sees no moral issue in going with prostitutes, whereas you dont...this is a serious conflict of interests that will need to be resolved before you can trust him again.
the key to resolving any conflict of interests is mediation. you both need professional help to see the problem in its entirity and reach a peaceful conclusion which will benefit you both.
if you feel you cant resolve this issue after the counselling then it might be time to consider leaving him.
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